BUSTIN' MAD LIT CRIT SPEAK: LONGHORNS METAPHOR

by loosening the metaphorical moorings of the Texan longhorn symbol in a direct comparison with the female reproductive system,

Hmmmmm . . . no wonder The Firm’s filtering software is giving me the red X of death instead of the linked photo. Back to double-secret probation for me.

it’s not you, it’s the img link:

http://f3.yahoofs.com/users/434c2239z3baabac8/mail/sr/4ee2.jpg?phQ4oNEBV7HVhOhA

ees no good.

Fixed.

Chris Simms?

Well, then.

Poop on my Friday, why don’t you.

How’s that for crit speak?

Is this nonsense (the picture I mean) supposed to even the score after publicizing more Sooner shenanigans? Or is “reader David”, as I suspect, a Texas A&M fan lashing out in impotent anger knowing that his once-powerhouse Aggies are now only the fifth best team in the state, after the University, TCU, Texas Tech and even Baylor? Sigh. It’s lonely at the top…

Kahuna:

I think Rice and SMU could give Texas T&A a game….

After the reader/viewer fully takes in the picture, one cannot help but be drawn to the opening scenes of “Full Metal Jacket,” where Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, played by R. Lee Ermey, informs us that only two things come from Texas. Those are “steers and queers.” Apparently, according to the University of Texas, there is a third option, having both. This, contrasted to the ultramasculinity evident in both the Marine Corps and high-stakes college football would make some heads explode.

By the way, the oldest trick in the English comp book is replacing “I” with “one.”

One agrees, Rob.

Correct me if I’m wrong but Sgt. Hartman makes the quote about Oklahoma….not TX.

Correction….You are correct about the “Full Metal Jacket” reference. I was thinking “Officer and a Gentleman”. My bad!

I was trying to come up with something witty and/or provocative to use in a comment on this post, and yet the best I’ve got is a Butthead-esque “Heh. You said ‘vagina.’” It’s Friday, it’s nearly quittin’ time, I’m tired . . .

Kahuna-

In fact I’m definately not an A&M fan, it was simply forwarded to me by a buddy of mine out in the great expanse of Texas, where the sky is big and so is the hair. If you must know, I’ll stick with my UF upbringing.

And as I stated in my email — the image had to be done by somebody at USC, because nobody at A&M or OU is smart enough to pull of such a basic rudimentary comparison.

I saw that picture (or one like it) on an Oklahoma fan site at least two years ago.

I’m pretty sure that, in “An Officer and a Gentleman,” Lou Gossett, Jr., uses the “only two things come out of . . .” line twice—-once to David Keith at the beginning and once to an incoming recruit at the end, as Richard Gere is getting ready to ride off into the sunset with Debra Winger—-and he uses “Oklahoma” one time and “Texas” the other time. I think that makes it an all-purpose equal-opportunity insult for use on anyone from a beef-producing state, provided you’re a drill sergeant talking to raw enlistees on their first day of basic training.

I’m also pretty sure Oklahoma fans don’t have any business slinging that type of stuff at Texas fans, though, seeing as how one team just won the national championship and the other team is named after a show tune.

By the way, Orson, does your deconstruction of the foregoing image qualify as a vagina monologue?

i find that pretty funny. when you own the Crystal Football you can laugh at anything.

by the way (here’s where the M.A. comes in) am i the only one laughing at the Derrida ref?

A Derrida referrence to insult the Longhorn faithful; well done, sirs. I fully expect a Foucault reference when discussing the Longhorn chearleaders in their leather chaps, which provides a good excuse to look at the Longhorn chearlers in their leather chaps.

For what it is worth, Car and Driver also used the same reference about 3 years ago when examining Dodge’s redisgned Ram logo. Given the popularity of its trucks among women, it is only fitting.

No, UT Grad, I got the Derrida ref too, but as The Onion stated, it’s too bad he’s “dead.”

We would happily take some “Discipline and Punishment” from the Texas Pom Squad.

That’s pretty hilarious. I made the comparison to my ex when we were still dating, but she didn’t find it too humorous…guess that is a good litmus test?