LIVING! AFTER MIDNIGHT! FULMER CUP POINTS FOR tOSU
by Orson on Apr 3, 2006 9:34 AM EDT
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PrintThe classics never die: tOSU makes their grand entrance with a workmanlike performance, earning two Fulmer Cup points for DUI thanks to 18-year old offensive lineman Alex Boone, who was positively trashed according to our sources when police pulled him over early Sunday morning in Columbus.
Boone may suffer "other sanctions," but will not miss any playing time or serve a suspension. Cue Michigan fans falling over in shock...Boone may as well start discharging AR-15s into neighboring apartment complexes with that kind of laissez-faire discipline.
The duchess was shocked--shocked!--that Boone wouldn't lose playing time for a DUI.
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Mississippi State making a late run at the championship.
http://www.starkvilledailynews.com/articles/2006/04/03/news/news01.txt
by NewAZTiger on Apr 3, 2006 9:53 AM EDT reply actions
Way to go New AZTiger. Do we have a new overall leader in Mississippi State? Assault x 5 players, I got 15 points at least. I think beating up a cop to stop him from stopping a fight deserves a few bonus points.
by Billy on Apr 3, 2006 10:12 AM EDT reply actions
And there should be a bonus point for trying to get 2 girls to fight so they could watch. I mean, that’s panache!
by NewAZTiger on Apr 3, 2006 10:25 AM EDT reply actions
Beating up an off duty police officer at a crush party, now that’s just balls…balls stupid. I’d say 2 bonus points to the town cop for scoring a sugar momma.
by Brian on Apr 3, 2006 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
I think this line is most telling to the future Fulmer Cup Champions:
Lindley and SPD Capt. Chris Thomas both said that additional arrests in the case are pending.
I mean seriously, how many big ass football players does it take to beat up one off-duty cop? I mean, that cop better have been ripped, because if it took a half dozen or more football players to beat him up, MSU has bigger problems than weren’t already blantantly apparent
by Kozalicious on Apr 3, 2006 12:35 PM EDT reply actions
What’s that about the “Tressell is really cracking down” thing?
by John on Apr 3, 2006 1:09 PM EDT reply actions
What? No penalties for breaking the rules at Tosu? I’m shocked, shocked, I say.
by Yost on Apr 3, 2006 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t suppose any sources were available that could confirm how many cold ones it takes to create a “positively trashed” 6’8" 315?
by COWolverine on Apr 3, 2006 2:49 PM EDT reply actions
I hear they’re going to rename the Fulmer Cup in honor of Tressle just due to the break-(red)neck speed in which ol’ Cheaty McSweatervest is racking up points at aOSU.
by Barney Fife on Apr 3, 2006 3:12 PM EDT reply actions
In Ohio, anyone under 21 only needs to blow a .02 to get a DUI. So that could be a dose of NyQuil for some…Probably a little more for a man mountain like Boone…
by Pants McPants on Apr 3, 2006 5:14 PM EDT reply actions
About as many as it took for Nick Mangold to be drunk dialing while walking down the street in Columbus on St. Patrick’s Day. I am sure his agent would have love to have seen that.
by Sean on Apr 3, 2006 6:48 PM EDT reply actions
“…according to our sources…”. Some of your best work yet, Orson.
by Keith on Apr 3, 2006 8:08 PM EDT reply actions
by E-Man on Apr 3, 2006 8:10 PM EDT reply actions
That photo was five kinds of awesome. I’m giggling out loud and it’s starting to attract stares.
by Flop on Apr 3, 2006 8:33 PM EDT reply actions
jim tressel is the man fuck all the haters
by michigan is weak on Apr 4, 2006 2:12 PM EDT reply actions
In Ohio, anyone under 21 only needs to blow a .02 to get a DUI. So that could be a dose of NyQuil for someÂ…Probably a little more for a man mountain like Boone.
In that case, Boone blew nearly EIGHT TIMES the legal limit. Surely, Orson should consider awarding bonus points.
by DevilGrad on Apr 5, 2006 10:03 AM EDT reply actions
DG, we’ll go ahead and make policy on the fly here: bonus points for DUI only kick in at the Baltic/Russian/Scandinavian level, meaning .25 and above. 0.16 is merely “good ’n drunk;” you have to be nearly deranged drunk for bonus points to kick in.
by Orson Swindle on Apr 5, 2006 10:21 AM EDT reply actions
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