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Nothing personal with the rest of you lovable jorts wearers, but I hate Noah. I hate him. I hope all of the bad things in life happen to him and only to him. May the earth open and swallow him up before I have to look at him for another excruciating second. Buck Nasty’s mama wouldn’t even give him a second look.

by Phil K. on Apr 1, 2006 6:35 PM EST reply actions  

Man I hat rooting against the gators, but GMU is just so cool.

by Socraticsilence on Apr 1, 2006 7:06 PM EST reply actions  

gee, phil. you seem like a really nice guy.

by adam on Apr 1, 2006 7:37 PM EST reply actions  

And you sound like a graduate of the Joakim Noah School of Whining Like a Bitch™, as well as a guy who doesn’t get the joke.

by Phil K. on Apr 1, 2006 8:05 PM EST reply actions  

that’s it. i’m asking you out. cutie.

by adam on Apr 1, 2006 8:12 PM EST reply actions  

How is it that a guy whose mother is a Scandinavian beauty pageant winner is so farking ugly? Seriously, I have to shield my eyes with my hands every time they do a close-up of him. Dude is fugly.

by zibby on Apr 1, 2006 8:31 PM EST reply actions  

I always thought Patrick Sparks was gay, and this photo just proofs me right!!!! And Adam K. has offically won the Player Haters Ball HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!!

by Rudy on Apr 1, 2006 8:40 PM EST reply actions  

My bad Phil K…..

by Rudy on Apr 1, 2006 8:40 PM EST reply actions  

eat nuts sparks!

by Zach on Apr 1, 2006 11:12 PM EST reply actions  

And you sound like a graduate of the Joakim Noah School of Whining Like a Bitch ™, as well as a guy who doesn’t get the joke.

Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?

by Mike on Apr 2, 2006 1:18 AM EST reply actions  

why does everyone hate joakim? he seems like an alright dude to me…

by tim on Apr 2, 2006 3:36 AM EST reply actions  

for real, tim. noah is suppose to be very well read, speaks english, french, and swedish, and i would assume hates him some george bush. also, he kicks ass on the bball court. sounds like a kick ass guy to me. just wait until he puts on about 20 or 30 pounds.

by adam on Apr 2, 2006 3:42 AM EST reply actions  

and also, patrick sparks = not gay. we would never take an ugly fucker like that. let some hefty chick with bad teeth claim that.

by adam on Apr 2, 2006 3:43 AM EST reply actions  

Interesting that Orson et al. hop joyfully on the basketball bandwagon…after all, basketball is the only sport at Jorts University (patent pending…or rather, it would be if northern Floridians knew how to operate on that side of the court system) that has come this close to a national championship in quite some time.

Disclaimer: All smack talked in good fun; I am a Kansas football fan. Seriously. Any knock on Florida football – hell, or basketball at this point, should be construed as jealousy and good-natured shit-talk.

by PeteJayhawk on Apr 2, 2006 4:07 AM EST reply actions  

Less hopping on the bandwagon than a badly delayed acknowledgment of their acheivement.

by Orson Swindle on Apr 2, 2006 10:55 AM EDT reply actions  

actually, captain jayhawk, the uf baseball team came awfully close to winning a national championship last year. do they have baseball in kansas?

by tim on Apr 2, 2006 12:52 PM EDT reply actions  

no knocks on rock-chalk baseball :) my bro was catch for the team a few years ago that took a series on the road from LSU….how can you talk shit about big 12 baseball (can’t knock SEC, ACC, Pac10 and some of the big10 for that matter either).

by dannynd01 on Apr 2, 2006 3:20 PM EDT reply actions  

One thing will be very interesting about Florida. You win on Monday and I have to wonder if your a basketball or football school?

1 national title apiece with 2 title game appearances.

by Heath on Apr 2, 2006 4:42 PM EDT reply actions  

Say what you want about Joakim Noah, but that young lady plays hard.

by Mitchell on Apr 2, 2006 5:54 PM EDT reply actions  

Joakim has a bright future in the WNBA. :p

by bitterhorn on Apr 2, 2006 6:52 PM EDT reply actions  

Way to squash the little guy and ruin the dream. Oh well, at least now we can get our heads back into Spring Practice

by Adam on Apr 2, 2006 9:11 PM EDT reply actions  

BTW, the Gator band should learn how to play Fleetwood Mac’s song, TUSK. With the revised lyrics…“UCLA Sucks!”

Beat the Bruins!

by boifromtroy on Apr 2, 2006 10:34 PM EDT reply actions  

who’s uglier….noah vs. seimone augustus or noah vs. josh boone. i really think boone is the fugliest dude i’ve ever seen play basketball.

by J on Apr 3, 2006 1:10 AM EDT reply actions  

In the name of the Florida SUS, good luck and don’t suck.

by NoleinTexas on Apr 3, 2006 9:26 AM EDT reply actions  

Noah’s mom is a sculptor, his father (former tennis champion and Davis Cup captain) is now in a rock band (played Live 8 Paris).

Anyone who has seen Yannick Noah (either as a player or coach) knows where Joakim gets that unbridled enthusiasm – and the gap in the teeth.

by PSUgirl on Apr 3, 2006 10:20 AM EDT reply actions  

If Humphrey shoots like he did Saturday, Florida should be in pretty decent shape.

by JJ on Apr 3, 2006 10:30 AM EDT reply actions  

Ten days after giving up my brackets for junk, I’m this close to winning three of them b/c I have UF winning it all. And to think, I picked them b/c I like EDSBS.

If I win it’s jean shorts for everyone!

by LightenUpFrancis on Apr 3, 2006 10:35 AM EDT reply actions  

Go Gators!! Beat the boys from Westwood. They have enough banners plus they’re from California and I hate Reggie Miller and Bill Walton.

by Mike on Apr 3, 2006 10:51 AM EDT reply actions  

Hmm… Not sure Noah cares what some silly loser on a website says about him and his looks. After all, the guy already pulls more wool than a sheep herder. Once he is made a NBA Lottery Pick and is raking in millions, looks won’t make a difference because he’ll be tagging women that Phil and others could only dream would even glance their way.

Who gets the last laugh then? Well probably still you guys because Noah will be too busy tagging hot chicks and cashing that paycheck.

Go Gators.

by Martinis at 8 on Apr 3, 2006 11:01 AM EDT reply actions  

You’re right, you’re right…being a pro athlete would just be so…awesome. I’m going to go sulk and dwell on the fact that I can’t get laid because I wasn’t born a freak of nature whom society has decided to reward outlandishly for playing a game. Hating is a huge part of what makes being a sports fan so much fun, Martinis. Humorless tools who take it too seriously are what make it a drag.

by Phil K. on Apr 3, 2006 12:20 PM EDT reply actions  

Hey, Matt Walsh was nearly as ugly as Noah, and he was hitting a former Playboy Playmate – its amazing what the (false, in Matt’s case) promise of endless riches will do for a guy.

And as we all know, not only is Noah’s mother a famous sculptor, but she is also a former Miss Sweden and finalist in Miss Universe. Noah seems to mostly take after his father’s side of the family.

by TheAmazingYant on Apr 3, 2006 12:47 PM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, sadly, Joakim does seem to be a true to life version of Conan O’Brien’s “If They Mated”.

The mom is still quite lovely (she was Miss Sweden 28 years ago). http://www.franceartistes.com/artistes/profil.php?idArtiste=56

by PSUgirl on Apr 3, 2006 1:53 PM EDT reply actions  

Once again, no love for the Pac-10.

This time it comes in the form of saying that Noah and Boone are the ugliest men in basketball, when clearly no one has been paying attention to UCLA’s Lorenzo Mata. As POY of the All-Ugly Team, he deserves more recognition (the other 4 being Noah, Pittsnoggle, Shelden Williams, and Adam Morrison). Josh Boone doesn’t have the heart to play basketball, and has even less heart to be on the All-Ugly team.

However, because Mata has broken his nose for the 2nd time this season, he will be wearing a mask tonight, which improves his looks by tenfold.

GO BRUINS!

by Warren on Apr 3, 2006 2:57 PM EDT reply actions  

Sorry we don’t get to see the repeat match of Noah & the Big baby. For once I hate to say this,

Go Gators
!

by Southern papa on Apr 3, 2006 5:51 PM EDT reply actions  

Shelden Williams looks like Ken Griffey, Jr. in the Simpsons episode where he gets gigantism from drinking the health tonic Mr. Burns gives him.

by Phil K. on Apr 4, 2006 12:44 AM EDT reply actions  

Gators post-season run is very impressive. They beat a #1, a #2 seed. If you count the beat down on LSU in the SEC tournament, they beat all three Final 4 teams. The margins of victory in a tournament where even the 16 seeds were leading the 1 seeds, was impressive. These were crushing defeats of all but the slowdown Hoyas. Its been 40 years since Final 4 wins were this large.

If we had the old Gator boosters still around who bought the guys cars, Humphrey’s bike accident never happens and those six losses look more like one or two and this team is being compared to the 1967 Bruins or the 1990 Runnin’ Rebels.

Speaking of which, how’s the desert treating you Lon?

by GoneGator on Apr 4, 2006 1:34 PM EDT reply actions  

Wow, Martinis, you sound like you’d like a piece of Noah yourself. You sound like one committed jocksniffer.

by Mitchell on Apr 4, 2006 3:27 PM EDT reply actions  

And, by the way, I like UF basketball and have been pulling for those guys all tournament. That said, I was disappointed to see them act like a bunch of clowns in the postgame. Taurean Green’s shout-outs to lil’ pistol starter, stomach-ache, and ray-ray were embarrassing, and whatever the hell Kim Noah was doing with the double-point pose for the camera made me feel dirty.

by Mitchell on Apr 4, 2006 3:33 PM EDT reply actions  

Phil graduated from Joakim Noah’s School of Whining Like a Bitch. By the way, Joakim Noah doesn’t whine like a bitch, you do.

love always,
dee di dee

by dee di dee on Nov 26, 2006 1:47 AM EST reply actions  

Noah is a douche bag. First, he’s a kid talking about not agreeing with the politics of President Bush. Fuck that. He’s an idiot. He plays basketball, he isn’t in politics. I’m sick and tired of hearing these college athletes bitch about the way our country is ran. He has no right to talk about that. All I would say to him is beat your chest like the idiot you are and keep looking stupid on TV with the comments you make and the actions you do. Why the hell would he even make that comment? YOU PLAY COLLEGE BASKETBALL. i guess he was trying to make this country hate him even more. I personally can’t stand the dude, he’s a cocky ass who is going to get it handed to him in the NBA. I hope Shaq smacks the taste out of his mouth.

by CentralState01 on Apr 2, 2007 8:10 PM EDT reply actions  

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