FULMER CUP: THE UPDATED BOARD

After a lull, a peppering of incidents necessitated a thorough updating of the Fulmer Cup scoreboard by our admin Big Mike. Courtesy of our benefactor, we present the updated full Fulmer Cup standings:

For the full list, check out this page, which has the beautiful sidebars complete with a new feature, "TEAMS ON THE BUBBLE." Mike does, for the record, have a penis so large he can block out the sun, a talent he's used to extort billions from helpless world leaders. (As part of his retainer fees for creating and maintaining the board, we have to say nice things about him on the blog, so there you go, Mike.)

Delaware, as you can see, is clearly the George Mason of our tourney, heads and shoulders above everyone else for the combined "breaking and entering/armed robbery/steroid robbery" incident they obviously cribbed from the lost drafts of a Tarantino or Darren Aronofsky script. Purdue's small but determined pattern of incidents still has them sky-high in the standings, but even now at the end of March we've yet to see major substantiated incidents from Tennessee, Florida State, or Miami. Brian noted the other day that this year's race for the BCS was "the most wide open college football has been." It appears this applies to the Fulmer Cup, as well, though any crimes that unseat Delaware at this point may require the calling of the National Guard, a raising of the DHS Alert Level, or the announcement of Defcon-1 by the Strategic Air Command.

Enjoy your weekend, and please do Football Outsiders a favor by stopping by and reading their story on NHL athletes and their very, very personal involvement with autism research.

Alabama fans, enjoy A-Day--it'll be the last time you see John Parker Wilson go through an entire game unharmed--we wish we could be there for the barbecue.

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