Sure, your mascot might have “tradition.” But does he wear a beanie and get tackled by Steve Irwin? Albert makes a quality appearance in one of ESPN’s funnier commercials in recent memory, giving Steve Irwin the redassed beatdown he deserves.
Youtube: the best thing since penicillin and big asses.
The House Rock Built’s Dink and Dunk this week has to be linked by us, if only for references to obsessive NCAA 2006 play and to Leak running the option.
After a lull, a peppering of incidents necessitated a thorough updating of the Fulmer Cup scoreboard by our admin Big Mike. Courtesy of our benefactor, we present the updated full Fulmer Cup standings:
For the full list, check out this page, which has the beautiful sidebars complete with a new feature, “TEAMS ON THE BUBBLE.” Mike does, for the record, have a penis so large he can block out the sun, a talent he’s used to extort billions from helpless world leaders. (As part of his retainer fees for creating and maintaining the board, we have to say nice things about him on the blog, so there you go, Mike.)
Delaware, as you can see, is clearly the George Mason of our tourney, heads and shoulders above everyone else for the combined “breaking and entering/armed robbery/steroid robbery” incident they obviously cribbed from the lost drafts of a Tarantino or Darren Aronofsky script. Purdue’s small but determined pattern of incidents still has them sky-high in the standings, but even now at the end of March we’ve yet to see major substantiated incidents from Tennessee, Florida State, or Miami. Brian noted the other day that this year’s race for the BCS was “the most wide open college football has been.” It appears this applies to the Fulmer Cup, as well, though any crimes that unseat Delaware at this point may require the calling of the National Guard, a raising of the DHS Alert Level, or the announcement of Defcon-1 by the Strategic Air Command.
Enjoy your weekend, and please do Football Outsiders a favor by stopping by and reading their story on NHL athletes and their very, very personal involvement with autism research.
Alabama fans, enjoy A-Day–it’ll be the last time you see John Parker Wilson go through an entire game unharmed–we wish we could be there for the barbecue.
75 years ago today, Notre Dame coach Knute Rockne died in a plane crash in Kansas. His lifetime record at just the age of 43: 105-12-5.
.881 lifetime. Yikes.
The bizarre career trajectory of Ed Zaunbrecher, former offensive wunderkind at Marshall who followed [NAME REDACTED] to Florida and subsequent demotion, takes another unpredictable zag as the coach works one day of spring practice as quarterbacks coach at Illinois before quitting to take the quarterbacks coaching job at Purdue.
Zaunbrecher, who in case you haven’t been following his career was the guy who prepped Byron Leftwich and Chad Pennington for the NFL, joined Team [NAME REDACTED] in 2002 as part of Mr Better and Better’s first Florida staff. Under [NAME REDACTED], Zaunbrecher’s diverse spread attack all but disappeared, replaced instead with a clenched-buttocked attack that appeared to consist of:
a. Shotgun draw
b. Five yard curls
c. TE post
d. (Most notoriously) The bubble screen
Zaunbrecher, who was once one of the hotter assistants around, faded into oblivion as a three headed monster of Zaunbrecher, “perimeter game coordinator” Larry Fedora, and [NAME REDACTED] called games. The attack still had some teeth–after all, their 2004 O scored more points than this year’s Meyer squad–but suffered typically [NAME REDACTED]ish brainlock at critical points, disappearing for whole quarters whenever the head coach put his cursed fingers on the button and demanded that they “keep it close and win it in the fourth.” In his final season Zaunbrecher was relegated to qb coach entirely, with Fedora taking over playcalling.
Here’s hoping Zaunbrecher, like anyone leaving an abusive relationship, cranks up his chosen version of “I Will Survive” and goes on to success at Purdue. Like everyone else associated with [NAME REDACTED], he’ll hopefully recover from the incompetent sodomizing of his potential that passes for “effort” with that coach. (When reached for comment, [NAME REDACTED] claimed to be “excited” about the resignation, that Illinois’ offensive woes were “correctable,”and that Illinois would keep getting “better and better” under his watch. Good luck with that!) (HT: The Wiz.)
When he heard about the resignation, he headbutted a snack machine and called a bubble screen.
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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