IOWA PLAYERS: SWIMMING IN AN ILLICIT POOL OF CASH

The 5 players originally tried to trade in their Outback Bowl tickets for fair Refs in the bowl game. Conference USA however has a written policy stating it can only receive bribery from the SEC schools. Apparently all they could get for them was a crappy wirelss phone, which by the way is worth much less than the “gifts” recieved form the Outback bowl itself. God forbid they trade in their crap for something of noderate value. Let’s face it you guys cheat so much better than we do up north.

By the way, when I finally make my way to hell and it freezes over, I do expect to get your sympathy.

Glad to see you making use of our “Police Blotter” forum, Orson. (Oxford, Ohio is close enough to Cincinnati, Columbus, and Huntington to ensure that the board has plenty of fodder.) This one seems a bit hard to score for Fulmer purposes — maybe one collective point for all five players?

We’ll be fair…pending investigation. It might be a two pointer for sounding “FSU-esque,” which is almost a hangin’ crime in this quarter of the internets.

BTW…what other college football blog gives you references to the Very Large Array? We’re damn proud of that one, and not just because it’s in the opening twenty minutes of 2010 with Roy Scheider and Bob Balaban.

Anytime you can work Bob Balaban and/or some of his fine character work, be it as Dr. R. Chandra, Russell Dalrymple or as Jonathan Steinbloom in the last Christopher Guest mockumentary (his new movie “For Your Consideration” is due in the fall), you can count me a satisfied reader.

Cell phones did cost one head coach his job, admittedly on a larger scale than this one, but you can’t dismiss all cell phone offenses as being small.

True.

Gob, Bob Balaban is always quality. When he’s disconnecting Hal: “Will I dream?” “Yes, Hal. You’ll dream.”

Brings tears to our dorky little eyes.

He was great on Seinfeld, too.

Trading bowl tickets for cell phone upgrades and car chargers! My god what is college football coming to?! This is an outrage!

Gotta say too, with regards to the Fulmer Cup, the best part is that the site is hosted on the UF Plaza server, which makes it seem as if it’s coming close to being university-sponsored. Maybe we can trade Golden Flake for Cheetos next year…

Loved the VLA reference, Orson. Now, if you can work in the Superconducting Supercollider in the future, that may be even more impressive.

BTW…what other college football blog gives you references to the Very Large Array? We’re damn proud of that one, and not just because it’s in the opening twenty minutes of 2010 with Roy Scheider and Bob Balaban.

Well, I might have if I had got there first… I dropped a Crab Nebula reference sometime last year, so nothing is out of bounds.

Also, the VLA gets a dubious film credit in “Contact.”

For those of us that aren’t older than dirt please explain the Oklahoma 84 reference. I realize that I should probably know what you are talking about but I wasn’t born until the next year so please enlighten me.

Start with the Brian Bosworth wikipedia piece, Azher. If you’ve seen The Program, it was close to that.

Sheesh. We finally get a scandal like all the other real programs have, and it has to be this. This is as embarrassing as Ball State’s textbook-lending flapdoodle. I should just start following D-II ball.