THE HAZELTON TELENOVELA FINALLY ENDS

Nice use of Telemundo lingo there.

Man, Scout.com is really bitter about this whole thing – they’ve just been snarky the entire time.

The valid letter was sent Thursday. Someone on the USC staff leaked the news to the Orange County Register. The paper reported it in its online edition and the saga was, in effect, over.

Dexter Hazelton was reportedly livid.

No word on whether he contacted the Penn State staff to inquire about his son transferring.

(the latter portions are, of course, the snarky portions)

They then go into this weird diatribe where they point out that Hazelton didn’t ever really need his father’s permission to go to USC, which I don’t think was the point. I think his dad was trying to keep him from making a decision he’d regret. Obviously kids don’t need a parent’s permission to go to a school.

Good riddance to VH1….if this kid graduates I’d be shocked. He’ll make the jump to the NFL asap. It’s a shame, because his dad was really looking out for him.

Pat—don’t you find the overly active and increasingly subjective role Scout and Rivals play in the recruiting process creepy? We sure as hell do.

Abso-freaking-lutely. Especially when they’re insulting some kid’s dad on a website just based on their own opinion.

I mean, it’s fine when you guys do it, but Scout and Rivals – they’re supposed to be, you know, like, professional and stuff. Next thing you know they’ll be boosting a candidate’s star rating because of “obvious future Fulmer Cup potential.”

I agree Pat & Orson. Its a shame. Scout and rivals are good at what they do, as long as they simply evaluate players. Putting themsleves in the mix is ridiculous. They didnt just get bought by Disney, did they?

The SHARK got his man.

State Penn got the you-know-what. Probably, the bone-headed father was promised an Escalade or something from the State Penn boosters, and now he has jack-blank.

Once a young man has seen the lights of Hollywood, there is no way he will go to the cow pastures of State Penn in the north east, or of other dreary midwestern joke towns.

Those weenies at Neutered Dame will probably now call Pete Carroll the ‘Shark’ instead of the ‘Poodle’, which is more appropriate.

Thanks for the insights Stacey. Which corner of West Hollywood are you txting from?

Thank God for someone recognizing the potential this guy’s name has. I’m surprised more media didn’t pick up Vidal “Sassoon” Hazelton. BTW, how is it pronounceced, like the shampoo or more like “vital”?

Phil K– Are you mocking me, LITTLE MAN?

To keep the fun going, I will answer your question. I am writing from a warm part of the country on the coast. Beautiful weather, beautiful women and of course civilization. Unlike your neck of the woods, where you are right now, wishing you were somewhere warm, such as Florida or California. We see your pasty, flabby selves every day, vacationing over here, in our back yards. (Notice, none of us go on vacation to your dreary part of the country, unless it is to see relatives from days gone by, before we had the opportunity to escape.) So, Vidal made the right choice. At State Penn, he would be stuck not knowing the difference between the cheerleaders and the women’s sumo wrestling team. At State Penn, or another dreary team in the mid-west, he would be doing his workouts in sub-freezing weather. Whereas at USC, his hardest choice will be either to go out with this beauty or that one on perfect sunny day. Plus, that blowhard father of his will be 3,000 miles away.

At State Penn, or another dreary team in the mid-west

Penn State may be many things, but it’s at least 100 miles east of the midwest.

Pat:

That Stacey K.L.M. is a joker. He would probably score lower on the Wonderlic than Texas’ Vince Young’s 6, or 16.

Plus, Ms. Kiebler loves ME and not him!

Harvey and Pat are 100% correct. Stacey must be one of those comatose crackheads I tripped over the last time I took a stroll on the Hollywood walk of stars. The only thing the “lights of Hollywood” shine on are pimps, slangers, prostitutes (male and female), and drug addicts. Anyone who has ever been there knows what a hole LA is. I hope Vidal Sassoon still thinks he made the right decision when he gets held at gun-point at the In’n Out Burger two blocks off of U$C’s campus. I bet the dreary cow town with its outstanding community atmosphere, legendary coaching, and world-class education won’t look too bad then. He definitely should have listened to his father…

Penn State may be many things, but it’s at least 100 miles east of the midwest.

you just keep telling yourself that, Pat.

you just keep telling yourself that, Pat.

Oookay.

Do you even know where State College is? It’s a little difficult to consider a city in the middle of an original colony “midwest”. (Is D.C. “midwest”?)

I knew some college football fans had problems with geometry, but really, that’s bad.