TEXAS SAFETY MICHAEL HUFF WANTS AN IHOP
by Orson on Feb 27, 2006 12:54 PM EST
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PrintCourtesy of BevoSports, former Texas safety Michael Huff's fantasies of NFL wealth reveal themselves as...simultaneously weird and boring:
Since the draft is quickly approaching, I've been thinking about what I'll buy with my first professional paycheck. A lot of people are probably expecting me to say that I'd buy a big house, and that's partly true. But it's not what you think. The first house I buy will be the one with the blue roof on it that says "IHOP." It has been a dream of mine to own my own International House of Pancakes, and someday I will. Just last week I ate there five or six times, and about every time I got the same thing, pancakes and shrimp. It's a cool feeling to know that someday I'll get to eat at my IHOP whenever I want.
We see Michael Huff, bloated and forty, tipping the scales at 350 pounds, shoving sausage patties into his mouth and weeping quietly at Gladys Knight's Chicken and Waffles...
What happens to those who eat at IHOP five or six times a week.
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As if the life long dream of owning an IHOP isn’t strange enough look at what the man eats. Pancakes and shrimp? That makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it. :x
by Darth_Sc00ter on Feb 27, 2006 1:01 PM EST reply actions
There’s a joke to be made here about Wonderlic, VY, and hiring a fry cook, but I’ll leave that for the sooners and aggies.
by bitterhorn on Feb 27, 2006 2:38 PM EST reply actions
“What happens to those who eat at IHOP five or six times a week.”…..they write over rated, over descriptive DC style drivel? I’m confused.
by tzubear on Feb 27, 2006 2:39 PM EST reply actions
That article is funny and all, but the high performance sports underwear ad is OFF THE CHAIN.
Did BoiFromTroy put you up to that?
by paulwesterdawg on Feb 27, 2006 4:02 PM EST reply actions
We’re whores. Ten dollars will get you anything, including a very gay blogad.
by Orson Swindle on Feb 27, 2006 4:03 PM EST reply actions
You crackas don’t have soul food IHOPs? ;)
Actually I’m sure it’s like that fortune cookie joke- that wasn’t shrimp!
by bitterhorn on Feb 27, 2006 4:05 PM EST reply actions
No, no, no. Gladys and Ron’s Chicken and Waffles is way too upscale for the comparison. Too gourmet and chi-chi with all that wood paneling and soft music and gold records on the wall. If Huff loves an IHOP, he’s more Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles clientele.
by white-boned demon on Feb 27, 2006 5:03 PM EST reply actions
In keeping with the gayinization of this blog, Id like to thank you for putting up that picture of cut off jean shorts today too Orson. Thing hit me like a double wammy. Maybe with that new check Michael can upgrade himself to The Waffle House.
by Adam on Feb 27, 2006 5:08 PM EST reply actions
The Gayosity increases if you actually click on the ad. you’ve been warned.
by Stranko Montana on Feb 27, 2006 7:57 PM EST reply actions
Its statements like that which make people click it just to see how gay it can get.
by Adam on Feb 27, 2006 9:18 PM EST reply actions
What is going on here on this website. It is supposed to be about football, not about all of this poppycock!
Back to the topic:
Texas’ Huff wants to buy an IHOP? Maybe he is not as dumb as Young (Wonderlic 6, or 16, or 2?), who would probably blow his earnings on bling, Vegas, loose women and be back as a poor schlub/schlemiel like the rest of us in no time.
Here are two characters that probably ATE an IHOP:
- Phillip “never full” Fullmer
- Charlie “hands smell like bacon grease” Weis
by Harvey Wireman on Feb 28, 2006 9:15 AM EST reply actions
I saw Ralph Fridgen in a pair of those high-performane man thongs the other day. I dont know how he does it.
by bonghit Gator on Feb 28, 2006 7:41 PM EST reply actions
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