Courtesy of BevoSports, former Texas safety Michael Huff’s fantasies of NFL wealth reveal themselves as…simultaneously weird and boring:

Since the draft is quickly approaching, I’ve been thinking about what I’ll buy with my first professional paycheck. A lot of people are probably expecting me to say that I’d buy a big house, and that’s partly true. But it’s not what you think. The first house I buy will be the one with the blue roof on it that says “IHOP.” It has been a dream of mine to own my own International House of Pancakes, and someday I will. Just last week I ate there five or six times, and about every time I got the same thing, pancakes and shrimp. It’s a cool feeling to know that someday I’ll get to eat at my IHOP whenever I want.

We see Michael Huff, bloated and forty, tipping the scales at 350 pounds, shoving sausage patties into his mouth and weeping quietly at Gladys Knight’s Chicken and Waffles…

What happens to those who eat at IHOP five or six times a week.