FULMER CUP SCORING: FURTHER CLARIFICATION

When’s the starting gun sound?

Any bonus points tacked on for the coach’s response? What might get someone kicked off the team or perhaps suspended for a semester at one school might just result in a few dadgummed stadium sprints at another.

Wow, doesn’t including Beastiality as 4 point crime instantly put Clemson in the driver seat?

Ahhhh, I love the smell of mysogyny in the morning.

Any bonus points tacked on for the coach’s response? What might get someone kicked off the team or perhaps suspended for a semester at one school might just result in a few dadgummed stadium sprints at another.

This is an excellent idea, if the guys can implement it. There should be a bonus point awarded for Bobby-Bowden-style depth chart justice or for my personal favorite — interpreting a university policy mandating a game suspension for alcohol violations by making [sic] your star tailback sit out the spring game.

At some point, there needs to be an ESPN-like rundown of the greatest Fulmer Cup off-seasons of all time.

Early favorite has to be 85 Oklahoma. Selling crack out of the dorm is pretty hardcore and makes Lawrence Phillips look like the prison bitch that gets passed around for menthols.

I also appreciate the clown rider on rape.

Brilliant suggestion. I think we’ve got a new show for Bob Ley to host on ESPN Classic.

Stu Scott can do the show with one eye looking at the camera and the other at Charlie Murphy!

According to something I read, Stuart’s eye is wonky cause he took one to the head from a Juggs machine.

The EDSBS poetry slam!

Collegiate Football
send lawyers guns and money
hey, where is my flask?

The Fulmer Cup deserves it’s own episode of Sports Century.

Totally unrelated but relevant anyway: The Bill Simmons Drinking game via deadspin via some other dude: http://peterdewolf.wordpress.com/2006/02/21/the-bill-simmons-drinking-game/

I hope that a Rae Carruth-like multiple felony saga and subsequent police chase can still count for a bonus round or two.

Extra points for hiding from the police in the trunk of your own car in a motel parking lot.

As a Dawg who uncontrollably just wants to win anything and everything, even an ignominious distinction such as the Fulmer Cup, I take issue with the fact that “driving on suspended license” gets only one point. Since so many UGA players seem to be charged with this, I feel it necessary to request an uppage of point value. You’ve remarked that Georgia just needs someone in the Athletic Dept. specifically assigned to keep all players properly licensed. Actually, “driving on a suspended license” is a much more serious charge than “driving without a license” or “driving on an expired license.”

“Suspended” means that by operation of law your license or privilege to obtain a license has been taken away from you. In Georgia, this disqualification could be either by virtue of a conviction for a drug charge or serious traffic charge such as DUI, or by failure to appear at a court date, or by failure to fulfill some financial obligation such as child support.

Thus, this charge is not simply failing to renew your license on time. It is driving when a court has specifically ordered that you cannot. This is a misdemeanor, but it is not a petty misdemeanor. The minimum penalty in Georgia is two days in jail, and for a second conviction within five years, the minimum is 10 days. Compare that to the minimum jail time for DUI: 1st offense-24 hours, 2nd offense in 5 years-72 hours.

“Driving with a suspended license” should be at least on par with DUI (2 Fulmer Pts). That should hoist the Dawgs back up to the top of the leaderboard…

Hey Ryno,

It doesn’t necessarily put Clemson (Auburn or LSU, most likley) in the driver’s seat, but you gotta admit, 4 points is one helluva handicap…

I think Kenneth Tookes should be credited for firing the starting gun for this years Fulmer Cup!

Orson,

Point of reference, can you tally up the total for Cockaboose, er Calaboose ’05 in Klumbya?

“We’ll downgrade this to 2 if the girl can hold her weight and requires daily medication to prevent her from gouging her own eyes out”

What if the girl can hold her weight and self-medicates daily with booze to keep from gouging her husband’s eyes out?

I’m just asking. It’s your chance to shine, baby.

Why isn’t f$u listed? In 2006 they’ve had one player accused of rape (pre-bowl), and two more kicked of the team (post-bowl), for undisclosed reasons.

We’re trying to count strictly off-season stuff, but we may have to add them in. Consider that under review.

What, nothing for Recruiting violations?

Points should be deducted for any coach firing a losing coach who obviously didn’t realize how important it is to be at the top of this list in order to win.

Why can’t Ole Miss be credited points for recruiting violations? We want to be #1 in something! Please!

Are we sure Tennessee doesn’t have more points?

What about the Ohio Bobcat who went Mongo on a police horse? No points for that?

A special place in the Fulmer Cup hall of fame should go to the UAB basketball team that strung out an underage girl who then serviced the team and other hanger ons until she failed out of school.

bamafever – We let Schaeffer go. Big mistake on our part (as far as Fulmer Cup standings, anyway).

hey fucko,

it’s not bestiality, it’s interspecies erotica.

bama fans take offense to such terms.

Gosh it’s funny that three rapists at Notre Dame don’t score a single point. Nor was the felony theft by Lynn Dunbar and her showering of unauthorized Las Vegas vacations and sex parties upon ND players worthy of one point.

Methinks that we have a hearty dose of Catholic bias in this “ranking”.

Can Ohio State still receive points for Maurice Clarett? It seems like his latest lunatic fringe arrest is just a shameful waste of perfectly good Fulmer Cup points.

maybe an alimni edition could be started for folks like Clarrett

that was supposed to read Alumni Edition…

Somebody better update the stats on Marshall. 3 players arrested last night.

Marshall had one player arrested for loitering / drunk & disorderly not three.

Marshall fans cry an awful lot.

This poll is awesome. As for the idea of the “bonus” point for how the school/coach reacts, I believe it should go both ways. If they kick the guy off the team – subtract a point. If he laces it up the next week – add a point. This would at least give a little credit to schools who punish offenses and add to the humliation of those “Bowdens” who look the other way.

Where the hell is Miami???

Wait a minute. I don’t see UNLV on the scoreboard yet. In fact I only saw 4 Western states listed at all. What’s up with that? This is obviously more Eastern bias from people whose geographical knowledge stops at the Mississippi River.

The University of South Carolina is making a strong push for the Fulmer Cup!

http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5403441

http://jail.richlandonline.com/Services/ResearchOffenders/OffenderDetails/default.asp?OffenderID=101556&Image=101556_281984.jpg

8 teams from the SEC are on the list proving once again that the SEC is the most dominant college athletic conference in the country. My Razorbacks are disappointing me on this list, I miss the glory days when there were at least 2 guys arrested every month for drunk driving. What are college athletes coming to these days, it’s their duty to act like they are above the law, and raise all the hell they possibly can. GO HOGS!!!!!