REQUEST: NAME TWO MORE FAT COACHES

I can’t think of any truly big dudes outside of Barry Alvarez, who’s retired. George O’Leary is large, but not huge; with that Ted Kennedy complexion, he seems like he enjoys the drink more than the grub anyway. Maybe have a Drunknormous play-in between him and Erickson?

Too bad Mike Tice didn’t make the leap to college. He’s not so much fat as enormous but would definitely have been a good candidate… perhaps the frontrunner.

Mangino from Kansas.

I nominate Pudue’s Joe Tiller. The dude eats peanut M&M’s during the game!!!!!!!!

(BTW How’d Llllloyd Carr ever get included with these wide loads? Llllloyd’s alot of things, but a Meatnormous-sized coach isn’t one of them!)

What about a mythical Mangino-Friedgen fun baby – the Frangino!

He could run the wishbone out of the shotgun and plateau at 7-5.

Cal’s D-line coach, Ken Delgado. He’s “Meatnormous”!

Patience Maize… Carr has a special destiny in all this mess.

Chris Scelfo…the head coach at Tulane. His ass is growing at alarming speeds. Plus, who can forget the shots he took at the Orgeron last year for trying to recruit a couple of his players?

Tom Amstutz, University of Toledo.

Alvarez is not only ginorbous but also looks exactly like Colonel Kurtz. You have to include him for the vast humor potential, even if he’s technically retired. Also: I second Tiller, who looks exactly like Wilford Brimley.

Can’t remember who’s in, but Mike Price certainly has the boiler to match up in this division. The pick axe and strippers are a plus as well.

I nominate Fran, whose manteets are a force to be reckoned with. Also, it was reported by some A&M faithful that he was eating Little Debbie’s on the sidelines during a game.

I haven’t seen the list, but if Fulmer and Weis aren’t on it, then it is no meatnormous list at all.

The thing that disturbed everybody watching the craptacular SEC TV games that Alabama had to inhabit, was the odd sweat patterns that Mike Dubose exhibited. I swear during one JP game it looked like he was signalling in UFOs.

And he’s now a head coach, as you’ve so ably pointed out.

I was going to nominate Mikey Dubose as well.

Paul Johnson at Navy? Maybe he should be in the Mansierre (The Bro) Phil Mickelson Memorial Division.

I believe you are misguided. George O’Leary is not a football coach. He is a professional golfer. I believe you would be referring to John Daly, the head football coach for the UCF Golden Knights.

It is a very common misunderstanding, much like mix ups between Gary Busey and Nick Nolte. Nolte’s greatest role came in “Point Break”, whereas Busey’s best role came in either (1) “48 Hours” or (2) “Blue Chips”.

Also similar to Patrick Swayze starring in Backdraft and Kurt Russell starring in Roadhouse. It’s an easy mix up.

DYNOMITE!

North Carolina’s John Bunting is not a small man.
Les Miles has a fat head, does that count?
Sly Croom has a little blubber as well.

Fulmer

I know maryland has a fat-ass coach at the helm. I forgot the sumbitch’s name.

he’s retired, yes, but george perles certainly fits the profile…when he started at michigan state, he did a series of public service commercials with “the flab fighters.” as i recall, there was george, surrounded by a bunch of guys in foam rubber mascot-type costumes. he didn’t take his own advice, unfortunately…in one of his last seasons, state was doing a tv game and the color commentator actually “telestratored” a line on a sideline shot that showed old george’s round, round gut. mean, but funny as hell.

There is statistically no way this competition can exist without the Mangino. How about a conference tie-in? Representing the BIGXII, a Mangino-Frantastic tag team.

You MUST include the entire Tennessee coaching staff. The real reason Randy Sanders was let go was he made the other Jaba the Hut-like coaches (Fulmer, Chavis, Brooks) look even worse. If you don’t wear sansabelt slacks, you can’t coach at UT.

Throw the new Prince of football on the list at K-State. The former O-lineman is above his playing weight and just below the limit for two airline seats.