Georgia celebrated the passing of Presidents’ Day in their usual fashion: racking up a single but valuble Fulmer Point for Mudcat Elmore’s driving on a suspended license. Again, we think the UGA Athletic Department’s refusal to hire a single intern to ensure proper licensing of all football players operating a motor vehicle is shameful…and funny.

Bigger points for the Dawgs loom with the arrest of backup offensive lineman Ian Smith, who had a bit too much to drink in combination with some truly horrendous timing. Georgia Sports fills us in:

According to the Red & Black, police had to hammer through a wooden door at Amici’s restaurant in downtown Athens to get to Ian, who had passed out on the shitter with his trousers and drawers around his ankles. Perhaps–just perhaps–ACCPD overreacted.

Depends on the verve and aggression of the ass pickle Smith was trying to steer in, we argue. We know that farmers have suffocated due to the fumes of pig shit in an enclosed space; why wouldn’t a burly offensive lineman struggling with a 32 gauge cheek-ripper forged from chicken wings and stuffed crust pizza in a poorly ventilated space be in danger, as well? We think the police acted responsibly here, since a turd of that magnitude could have easily killed a man.

We’ll award a total of three tasty Fulmer Cup points here, broken down thusly:

Public intoxication=1 point

Story involving passing out while taking a drunken poo: 1 point

“When police gained entry to the bathroom, Smith was found “passed out on the toilet with his shorts and underwear around his ankles,” the report said. Police had to prod Smith with a baton to wake him up.”= 1 point

We believe this gives UGA an early lead on the Fulmer Cup, just ahead of Florida and Purdue. (Standings to follow later this week.)

Exercises to prevent injury that may help UGA’s Ian Smith