Everyday Should Be Saturday

February 13, 2006

GUNSLINGERS: ONE YEAR AND RUNNING

A quick note of congrats to LD from Gunslingers, who celebrated one year of some of the finest blogging around. The best media-watch blog on the college football beat, and funny to boot. Just confirms that if bloggerdom came down to an Anchorman brawl between factions, we’d have to throw in with the Georgia guys based on sheer badness. Then, when the fight was over, we’d stab one of them in the back with a trident before they turned on us.

We’re guessing that’s Mayor Kyle in the hat.

FULMER CUP: MORE COACHING DUIs

Though it pained him to do it, Devil Grad sends us this tidbit: the Miami University Redhawks make a wobbly right turn into the Fulmer Cup race (with their left turn signal on) by having assistant coach Tim Cooper getting arrested for allegedly driving drunk on February 11th in Oxford, Ohio.

SELL STOCK IN ANN ARBOR PITCHFORK/TORCH LTD.: HERRMANN GONE

Save the riot points and calm yourself, fool: Jim Herrmann, the “innovative”* defensive coordinator for the Michigan Wolverines, has left his job to coach linebackers for the New York Jets, which Herrmann calls “an exciting move.”** When asked what circumstances–say, fans hanging you in effigy, burying dead chickens under your doorstep, and sending you pictures of your daughters getting on the school bus in the morning–led to his departure, Herrmann simply said “The pieces fell together at the right time.”*** Brian has the Michigan blogerati response in full.

In other notable “used to be the toaster, now he just the toast” coaching news, Charlie Taaffe resigns his post as OC at Maryland. Taaffe resigns despite coaching the two most prolific offenses in school history in 2001 and 2002, though a two-year plague of turnovers and inability to groom a qb probably had much to do with the departure. Friedgen says he’ll hire an OC to replace him and maintain his CEO’s role on staff, which is well documented in the chapter on Maryland in Every Week A Season. The most important thing to remember here is that Charlie Taaffe’s retirement robs us of the only coach whose name fits perfectly into D4L’s “Laffy Taffy.”

Shake that Charlie Taaffe!
That Charlie Taaffe, Terp!
Shake that Charlie Taaffe,
That Charlie Taaffe, Terp!

*Allows offenses two second head start following snap.
** “chance to bail on current job without suffering resume hemorrhage”
*** Fraternalistic G.O.B. network bails me out before I find razor blades in my Reuben–again.


Gone, but not forgotten.

OFFSEASON FLUFF: SCOTT STAPP WEDS

We have few standards here at EDSBS, but one rule we live by is that anything involving sucky former Creed frontman, Scott Stapp is both funny and newsworthy. Well, Stapp has apparantly gotten married to a former Miss New York. I guess Mrs. Stapp didn’t care about this incident or read this blog about my favorite new Gainesville urban legend.

*** AWESOME UPDATE: STAPP ARRESTED ON WAY TO HONEYMOON! Apparently, he was too “boisterous” after the first leg of the trip and wasn’t allowed on for the remaining flight. Oh yeah, and he blew a .18 to prove he wasn’t too drunk to fly.

Being a washed up, shitty, has been faux Christian rocker has its privileges too.

TOO BAD THIS DOESN’T COUNT IN THE FULMER CUP

From the world of college basketball, we get the Frank Solichesque story of Eddie Sutton, the iconic coach of the Oklahoma State basketball team. Sutton, who was injured in car wreck this weekend, has taken a medical leave from the team because of his injuries. We are sure it had nothing to do with the DUI that he has now been charged with.

Way to make the Cowboy fans proud!

MEYER V. WEIS, PART ONE: I GOTTA MAN

Before the ‘05 season, Blue-Gray Sky and EDSBS did a little bit of soul-healing comparison between Urban Meyer, who spurned Notre Dame for Florida sunshine, and Charlie Weis, who took ultimately took the job in South Bend. Find both pieces heeyah and heeeyah for your perusal, but basically we both ended up saying pretty much what you would expect loyal, blood-raging college football fans of a particular team to say: I gotta man.

Revisiting the issue, though, we have to say that little’s changed. Weis made far more out of the Irish than any thought, but unless you filled your expectations with the bubbliest of heliums–effervescent hype–Meyer did with the Gators about what most expected, though not without surprises of both the nasty and pleasant variety. After 12 games, including bitter rivalry games, losses to conference nonentities previously overlooked, and tightly contested bowl games, we review the Fat Man and the Pointer, two coaches who should be tied together for the remainder of their coaching careers.

W/L: Both 9-3, though if you believe in upward trends, Meyer gets the slightest of upper hands for winning the bowl game AND humiliating eventual ACC champions FSU and beating Iowa in the bowl game. Iowa’s not exactly Ohio State, though, a team who nearly crapped in the cheerios of Texas’ dream season. Could be a push, but we’ll play our homer card and give Meyer the marginal edge with the bowl game win.

Fashion: Meyer didn’t stray far from the khakis and golf shirt uniform, so much so that we imagine him opening his closet a la Bugs Bunny and selecting one from a rack full of identical, pressed, matching outfits.

Meyer: sometimes he went crazy and wore khaki pants.

Weis, on the other hand, utlized the full range of Adidas couture options to dazzling effect:

Intro…stunner with the blue tie ND nod and nattily cut suit that definitely looked anything but “straight off the big and tall rack…”

…and dove straight into late summer/fall with the suave golf shirt khakis combo…

I proclaim this…screen pass day!
(more…)

DECORY BRYANT SUES UGA

Decory Bryant plays cornerback for UGA. Decory Bryant plays himself into NFL draft status. Decory Bryant breaks neck (!?!?). Decory Bryant sues UGA for the potential earnings he missed due to his injury, earnings he might have recouped had Bryant not had shit luck and broken his neck the same week he was applying for the insurance policy. (We would guess that a broken neck = preexisting condition.)

Considering the number of lawyers and wannabe lawyers lurking in the readership of this blog, we now open the proceedings for the day, Justice Swindle presiding. Does UGA owe Bryant squat? Besides a lifetime of free rubber chicken dinners, breezy jobs at alumni-owned businesses, and all the other pleasant benefits of being a college football notable living in their home state?

We’re taking arguments below. Note: by reading us you’re automatically in contempt of court.

Judge Mathis presiding. Mr. Barnett, please sit down and be quiet.

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