FULMER CUP ENTRANTS: DUKE (?!?!?)

by Orson on Feb 8, 2006 10:04 AM EST

Of all the people we'd expect to break out in a rash of FnDC: three (THREE!) Duke players were arrested along with North Carolina linebacker Larry Edwards for a disturbance in a Chapel Hill nightclub. Edwards was charged with "damage to real property," which is cool because we've mostly invested in virtual property over the years and it is paying off like gangbusters, brother: our Everquest arsenal put us through grad school and paid for these sweet Guatemalan calf implants. (Puh-POW! Eat your heart out, ladies, these sweet, online-game playin' calves are taken!!!) Good to know that fifty dollar Swiftwhisper sword we've got up on StationExchange is safe with him.

The three Duke players were charged with "failure to disperse on command," which as reader and adept wag Italiangator noted, is unusual since they seem to have no problem doing this on the field.

It's not a futile attempt to channel sexual frustration--it's an investment!!!

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Might just be me, but I always love when a fracas goes down in a southern college town and they have to say the word “nightclub.” Chapel Hill nightclub? How many times is “Raise Up” played on an average evening? I guess some people in Athens consider Insomnia to be a nightclub on the basis of the fact that there’s the occasional shooting there, but even when Keith Sweat came to town, he played at like, a restaurant or something.

by Ian on Feb 8, 2006 11:39 AM EST reply actions

Ian, GZA is playing Starr Hill. Do microbreweries count?

by Mike on Feb 8, 2006 12:18 PM EST reply actions

Ian this is of course Athens we are talking about, we had the Black Crowes play in the Classic Center, REM on the court house steps, and ludacris at a field next to a pool (Legion). Club becomes a pretty loose term at that point.

by Jonathan on Feb 8, 2006 1:08 PM EST reply actions

I assume you are kidding — “real” in the legal sense means land, as in real estate… as opposed to personal property.

by Benjamin Cardozo on Feb 8, 2006 9:18 PM EST reply actions

Is Insomnia the one black club in town? Because some gal from the Red & Black (who had the hoookup) got me in free and took me into the DJ booth to see some woman named “Momma.” Good times.

by Newspaper Hack on Feb 8, 2006 10:11 PM EST reply actions

We’ll take any chance to run a story off the rails of meaning, Benjamin.

by Orson Swindle on Feb 8, 2006 10:58 PM EST reply actions

Bards soloing dragons by swarm kiting in Western Wastes was so annoying – no lie.

Nice 3 year old screenshot, by the way.

by Nathan on Feb 9, 2006 9:21 AM EST reply actions

In reference to Cardozo’s comment (which reminds me, I hate lawyers, including myself)…

It’s still funny that they used the term “real property”. If we were going to use strict definitions, I’d presume that any damage actually done was directed at improvements, equipment, installations, rights, licenses, appurtenances, tenements, hereditaments, etc. and not the “real property”, unless he got out a shovel and started stabbing at the dirt below the building or sneakily filed a fraudulent deed altering the metes and bounds.

by LD on Feb 9, 2006 9:55 AM EST reply actions

Nathan, that’s awesome—both the comment, and that you knew the screen shot was three years old. It was the best we could find!

by Orson Swindle on Feb 9, 2006 11:09 AM EST reply actions

Gold farming in WoW is the big business these days. How else do you think I managed to afford 4 years at Notre Dame? I also managed to have enough left over to hire a personal ball washer.

by Tom on Feb 9, 2006 12:52 PM EST reply actions