TRESSELBLOG: WE SEEM FAIR IN COMPARISON.

by Orson on Jan 31, 2006 10:46 AM EST

We've been accused of being Ohio State "haters." Untrue--we just dislike Jim Tressel, who we think is as fake as tits on a badger. We should also mention that we don't hate Tressel, either. No, we've seen what that looks like, and it's not pretty. For the record, we hate Bobby Bowden, whose evil is both older, more established, and more formidable than Tressel's Pastor of Disaster act will ever be.

Bucks fans: we hate this guy, not Cheatypants. Unlike Bowden, Cheatypants does NOT think Saturday night's all right for fighting.

This guy, however, does hate Jim Tressel. We imagine he has a Michigan degree, or is named Maurice Clarett, which would explain why he writes posts with titles like Its A Pity You Cant Stab Real Hookers. Give him credit where credit is due, people: at least he understands that the word "hooker" has been scientifically proven to be funnier than "prostitute." (Via Will at Deadspin.)

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You mean they all have implants?

Say it ain’t so!

by DevilGrad on Jan 31, 2006 11:05 AM EST reply actions

i don’t see why you have to bring elton into this. all he’s ever done is rock out with his, well, not out, but definitely he bring attention to it…

by adam on Jan 31, 2006 11:26 AM EST reply actions

That’s not Elton…

by Orson Swindle on Jan 31, 2006 12:05 PM EST reply actions

Holy Crap, that guy’s funny.

Hey, some of them badgers got some nice junk in their trunks. Who needs booberz anyway?

by bitterhorn on Jan 31, 2006 12:24 PM EST reply actions

so that photo isn’t of elton john, and you aren’t referring you his song, “saturday night’s alright for fighting?”

by adam on Jan 31, 2006 2:44 PM EST reply actions

No…why would we put a picture of Elton John in Bobby Bowden’s place?

by Orson Swindle on Jan 31, 2006 2:50 PM EST reply actions

I’ll bet the sweater vest cost as much as Elton’s “new hair”.

by dragonash on Feb 1, 2006 7:17 AM EST reply actions

Tressel here. Coach Jim Tressel. Ok, douchebags, get this straight! I am not a Michigan fan. Why would I be a Michigan fan, you twat weevils? I’m Jim fucking Tressel. I coach Ohio State, the greatest fucking team to ever stick a ball up Michigan’s ass. And what the hell is your fascination with Elton John? He doesn’t look anything like Bobby Bowden. Elton John looks like an aging Queen, Bobby Bowden looks like a rancid pile of sack sauce! BTW, Maurice and I are very much still friends. So much, in fact that I plan on representing him as his attorney in his upcoming legal battles. I’ll site the the epic case of “You’re a Bitch vs. Madison” and rock their fucking socks…Hardcore!!! Jesus, I’m sorry. I’m coming off a major Red Bull binge. I bet on the Steelers yesterday, and blew my winnings on a trip to Windsor. Anywho, point is, don’t talk about something you know absolutely Jack Shit about, noone cares what you think! Keep talkin’ smack I’ll bring my own style of hovercraft fueled vengence!!!

O-HI-O!

by Jim Tressel on Feb 6, 2006 10:02 AM EST reply actions