THE GAMEDAY DRINKING GAME. DAMN YOU, MAYOR KYLE.
Kyle King writes something we’re kicking ourselves for not writing: the GameDay drinking game. We only disagree with the Holly Rowe not being hot comment, since we deem her college football’s Most Spankable Sideline Reporter. If anyone thinks this title goes to Jack Arute, by the way, then you are our great-aunt, and need to stop visiting the nephew’s cute little blog after your afternoon Old Fashioned kicks in. Please.
If you think Jack Arute is spankable…DRINK!
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T. Kyle King says:
Sorry about the Holly Rowe thing, guys.
I mean, I don’t see it myself, but, then, that’s why Baskin Robbins offers 31 flavors, right?
Anyway, thanks for the, er, um . . . compliment?
January 18th, 2006 at 5:11 pm
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fightinamish says:
Actually, Kyle, Baskin Robbins now only has 12 flavors because of Holly Rowe.
Orson and Stranko, I’ll be giving you guys a call next time I’m going hogging. Sounds like you guys are a couple of seasoned pros.
January 18th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
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Orson Swindle says:
Channing Crowder taught us all the finer points of hogging. He also taught us how to hotwire a car and knock a man out with one punch.
Who taught him his vast range of skillz, you ask? One Holly Rowe, that’s who.
January 18th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
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Mark Twain says:
Holly “Why take one when i can eat the whole” Rowe is nowhere near Erin Andrews league but come on who doesnt like a big chick every now and then or every weekend when the skinny girls have left the bar.
Speaking of “My friend” Jack Arute can anyone remind me what awkward comment he made about hooking up with Choir Boy Quinns sister right after one of her 38 interviews during the bowl game.
January 18th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
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Stranko Montana says:
I diverge from Orson in a big way on the Holly Rowe thing… I prefer Gator Alums Heather Mitts or that other chick who’s name escapes me at the moment. Although I actually think the best cute to competent ratio is Bonnie Bernstein.
January 18th, 2006 at 5:22 pm
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Stranko Montana says:
Erin Andrews… that’s her name… thanks Twain
January 18th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
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Orson Swindle says:
Oh, Bonnie…good call.
January 18th, 2006 at 5:35 pm
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T. Kyle King says:
Stranko, I am TOTALLY right there with you on the Bonnie Bernstein thing.
Heck, I even liked her thinly-veiled fictional counterpart on Aaron Sorkin’s “Sports Night,” Bobbie Bernstein, who was played by the actress who later showed up as Rob Lowe’s law student/call girl pal in the first season of “The West Wing.”
January 18th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
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rjm says:
The worst thing ESPN ever did was take Jill Arrington away from CBS and SEC football fans. If you’ve forgotten hear simply type her name in google image search.
January 18th, 2006 at 6:00 pm
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rob says:
I miss Conyers, GA’s own Jill Arrington. Her unceremonious drop from CBS’ SEC telecast was a horrible mistake by the Eye.
January 18th, 2006 at 6:04 pm
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rob says:
Damn rjm, beat me to it.
January 18th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
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LD says:
The actress who played Bobbie Bernstein plays the hospital chief on House, MD now. Her name is Lisa Edelstein.
Cute competent ratio should be a post of its own. I’m unsure who would be at the top of the list (hottest/most competent) – maybe Melissa Stark? – but the rock bottomest bottom bottom bottom would be not-attractive-and-unable-to-read-teleprompter-without-awkward-pauses Leslie Visser. Typically, there is a reverse ratio, as in Michelle Tafoya (somewhat competent, not attractive) or Jill Arrington (considered attractive (not my bag) but not exactly brilliant). Stranko: Heather Mitts is extremely attractive, but the Friday night games I saw her do were pretty terrible.
How would these people rank:
Holly Rowe
Melissa Stark
Jill Arrington
Bonnie Bernstein
Michele Tafoya
Erin Andrews
Tracy Wolfson
Lisa Guererro
Suzy Kolber
Heather Mitts
Colleen Dominguez
Pam Oliver
Samantha Ryan
Heather Cox
Jeanne Zelasko
Marlo Kain (large NASCAR lady)
Rachel Nichols
And in the mens’ bracket:
Jack Arute
Todd Harris
Lynn Swann
Armen Keteyian
Marcus Allen
Eric Dickerson
Jay Glazer
OJ Simpson
Adrian Karsten (RIP)
Rob Stone
Tony Siragusa (anywhere but dead last puts you on the list)
In fact, this is just begging for a x/y axis graph where x is hotness/handsomeness and y is competency.
Siragusa gets a (-10,-10). Heather Mitts gets a (8,-6). Erin Andrews: (7,3). Holly Rowe (4, 4). Tafoya (-5, 5). Visser (-8, -8).
January 18th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
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Todd says:
hell yeah, melissa stark. i’m a jill arrington man myself, but stark would do in a pinch.
January 18th, 2006 at 6:41 pm
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Stranko Montana says:
Once charted I’d be surprised if B-Squared didn’t win.
January 18th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
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UM Dave says:
Suzy Kolber’s my pic on the competence to hot ratio. I know she’s not the hottest of the group, but there’s something there…
Anyway, before this goes off the deep end, my favorite rule out of Kyle’s game was Rule 9. “And before we get to Georgia/LSU there’s another grudge match on in the Big Ten. That’s right instate bragging rights are on the line when Northwestern and Illinois line up today. We’ll be right back and Lee and Kirk will break down the action in Evanston.” Called it perfectly…
Rule No. 9: Shillin’. Whenever Chris Fowler previews an E.S.P.N. noon game between middle-of-the-pack Big Ten teams before previewing a more significant game on C.B.S. or N.B.C., everyone takes one drink during each commercial break until the more important game on another network is discussed.
January 18th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
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Lion4Life says:
I thought I was the only one who missed Trev Alberts…. One time he looked so pissed at some asinine statement Mark May made I thought he was going to rip down the entire set.
I concur with Stranko and I didn’t know why- Holly Rowe is hot but I couldn’t decipher why until that whole beer chugging spanking thing. I mean she’s pale in comparison to Erin Andrews but to quote Lawrence from Office Space,
“I don’t know, man. I just get that feeling lookin’ at her like she’s the type of chick that just… eeeeeeehhhaaaaaaa”
January 18th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
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Ian says:
Melissa Stark: quintessential UVA chick.
January 18th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
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LD says:
I once heard a story about Stark from someone I know who went to UVA at the same time she did: had to do with her drinking milk from a bowl like a cat and putting her boyfriend’s sack in her milk-filled mouth. Called it “churgling”. I never really figured out the positioning, but it definitely intrigued me. And the story came from a girl, not a guy (so I’m more prone to believe it).
January 18th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
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Nate says:
Tracy Wolfson is very, very hot. Rockin’ body.
January 18th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
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Auburn Fan says:
You forgot Shelley Smith in the men’s bracket. Shelley, please no more blush, please!
January 18th, 2006 at 7:19 pm
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Mark Twain says:
Oh come on one I know a few of you Gator fans want to be “YOUR TRUE SELF” and start commenting on that mens bracket LD threw out there for yall.
January 18th, 2006 at 7:19 pm
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LD says:
We can always say it’s for Boi From Troy and The Conscience of a Nation…
January 18th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
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TRCuse says:
That’s an epic entry, Kyle. Holly Rowe bashing not withstanding.
Erin Andrews looks incredible in person. Michelle Tafoya looks surprisingly better in person.
It’s a 2-horse race between EA and B-Squared, with Holly Rowe waiting in the wings.
January 18th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
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gatorbeta says:
Big girls need love too.
January 19th, 2006 at 1:17 am
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paulwesterdawg says:
I’m with Joe Namath on this one. Suzy Kolber, I want to kiss you.
January 19th, 2006 at 2:13 am
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djl says:
I don’t know if I still have a copy of it anywhere, but Holly Rowe barged into the middle of an interview I was doing after the ‘03 Motor City Bowl.
I’m about two questions into talking with (Bowling Green’s) Josh Harris, the game MVP, when she grabs him, says “We’re on live” and literally yanks him away from me. He was in the middle of a sentence when she pulled her stunt.
Since I’m a BG alum, she’s near the top of my Dead To Me board to this day.
January 19th, 2006 at 2:48 am
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T. Kyle King says:
As I mentioned previously, I’m a Bonnie Bernstein fan, but there’s no question that Melissa Stark is at the top of the list in terms of being both cute and competent. Her ribbed sweaters and sideline commentary were the only thing that made “Monday Night Football” bearable during the Dan Fouts/Eric Dickerson era.
Back when Playboy announced its intention to do a nude photo layout of the hottest female sports announcer, as determined by a vote of its readers, Melissa Stark seemed like the obvious choice to me. Her name even lent itself to a title for the pictorial . . . “Stark Naked.”
January 19th, 2006 at 7:21 am
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italiangator says:
Bonnie might take it, but I did see Rachel Nichols doing a report yesterday and for some reason she had a certain what the French call…I don’t know what about her, but I know that I liked it. And just remember, if you also charted how hard the girl will work for you, Holly would be right at the top, mainly because she knows she’s got to be that much better than the hot ones. As far as Kyle’s game goes, well that just goes under the category of what I would pay to be back in college- just think of all the alcohol I consumed before 10:30 Saturday mornings that I could have saved and used in a productive manner.
January 19th, 2006 at 9:37 am
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DevilGrad says:
Rachel (Alexander) Nichols was a *great* print reporter for the Washington Post, so it was a complete bonus when she arrived at ESPN, and the world discovered that she is a total babe to boot. She gets my top marks, and y’all can let everyone else duke it out for second place.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:46 am
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Nate says:
Rachel Nichols? Is that what passes for a hot girl at Dook, DevilGrad? Yikes.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:52 am
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UM Dave says:
Nah, Nichols is a Northwestern grad.
Can’t side with you on the Nichols is hot assertion. The fake near purple/red hair is enough to singe your retinas, plus her nose is definitely winning the shoving match with the rest of her face. Cute, but ehh… Bartender another drink…
great line about her on wikpedia…
As Frank Walsh of the Huntersville Herald observed, “She is pretty and a redhead but that’s not why to check her out. She never blinks.”
January 19th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
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Nate says:
You mean there’s a f-ing entry for Nichols on wikipedia? Shouldn’t there be one for EDSBS?
January 19th, 2006 at 1:32 pm
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Carl Weathers says:
While Rachel Nichols is certainly skinnier than our girl Holly, I agree with UM Dave that Nichols’ hair is a bit too much. Regardless, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed should the opportunity present itself.
January 19th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
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Ahab says:
I’m sorry but Holly Rowe is a troll that doesn’t know how to put on makeup. Erin Andrews all the way.
January 19th, 2006 at 4:27 pm
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Brad says:
Is it just me or does Jill Arrington sound like a porn name? And that’s one I wouldn’t mind seeing, either. Although “Stark Naked” would be a pretty nice one too. Hey, something’s got to replace the remote in my hand during the off-season.
January 20th, 2006 at 2:21 am
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rollthebones says:
Lisa Guererro is the best preserved, man was she hot when she was a Raiders cheerleader.
How about a vote for a Lisa & Jill, ummm, sandwhich? Heh-heh.
January 20th, 2006 at 12:41 pm
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Black Bart says:
Agree that Melissa Stark and Erin Andrews are smoking hot, but there’s something that makes you think that Holly Rowe would be the best one to roll around in the sack with.
January 21st, 2006 at 4:33 pm
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rick says:
Bonnie all the way! Heard a story on the local sports talk show, hosts friend dated her at Maryland, she is into threesomes. Could believe he would mention this on air
January 29th, 2006 at 4:48 pm