Not strictly college football, but imagine the applications…a night game in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Houston Nutt twitching crazily in the tunnel along with his team. The whiskey chugging crowd is already at a fever pitch when the lights shut out, the crashing notes of “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath crank through the speakers, and the Razorbacks charge out of the tunnel led by a team of glow-in-the-dark battle hogs. Think we’ve been nipping at the cough syrup a bit too frequently this morning? Think again.

This should give your subconscious nightmare fodder for days. You’re welcome.