ESPN GETS PRO BASKETBALL FAN TO LIVEBLOG ROSE BOWL, MAKE 90210 ALLUSIONS

Yeah, seriously. My eyes nearly bugged out when he wrote that, “He can’t really have written that in seriousness…” I mean Hell, this guy is a Holy Cross grad, and obviously they’re never gonna win the tournament, but would he be cheering like Holy Hell for them when they wind up paired against, say, Kansas in the bracket? Of course. It’s called pride, Bill. And bragging rights. And being a freakin’ fan— man, dude has fallen the fuck off something fierce.

I actually just read through the Simmons piece and, while making my way out of the darkness that is his stupidity, I realized that perhaps ESPN should hire me to blog for them. At least I give a damn.

Nice one Orson. Stay on this freaking douchebag. No one gives a shit about Boston sports except for those Bristol clowns and New England states and the transplants out in West Coast. Page2 was cool when it came out few years back, but I stopped reading it two years ago.

The only reason he followed the sport at all this year is because Simmons chases celebrity gossip/hype like the police chase Lawrence Phillips.

Leinart was a celebrity, Simmons watched and followed him. What a jackass. May he continue to remain a 3rd tier journalist for the rest of his life.

It’s ESPN putting the personality before the event again. Simmons is only partly to blame here.

well, that’s what you get for reading page 2—the ‘Tiger Beat’ of sports websites.

That article was almost exactly what would’ve happened if I had had my girlfriend write a play-by-play last night. My favorite was when he realized Vince Young was good. In the fourth quarter.

Atleast Simmons is upfront and says he doesn’t follow college football, unlike a lot of journalists who write serious columns without knowing much.

It’s not the ignorance that appalls us, RJM. Hell, read some of the crap we’ve written and you’ll see that we and ignorance are like that, son. It’s the snide disregard for his subject we can’t stand.

Dammit…oh well, I’m still writing my take on it anyways.

What Ian said. Orson apparently types faster than I do.

Please, pile on—they’ll both be funny, which we were too pissed off to really attempt to be.

Reading that, I thought that it could be have been written by a 10 year old spaz. Halfway though the article I wanted to tell him,“huh, you’re kinda all over the place here, why don’t you have a nap and come back after the game is over.”

Nah, because you’d get that damn Anchorman quote he’s always flogging.

ESPN needs to hire a serious editor-in-chief who is older than 30, has worked the sports beat and never sat in on a marketing meeting. They are totally losing perspective. The list is endless. I am probably parsing too much into what Simmons wrote, but you know things have gone bad when an ESPN employee (Simmons) doesn’t even watch their flagship (Sports Center) on a regular basis. How do I know that he doesn’t watch what was once the best hour on TV? Well, even if you don’t follow college football you would be hard pressed not to know the name Mack Brown and know that he is white. My guess is Brown has been mentioned on sports center at least 50 times in the last year and probably 10-20 times in the last two weeks.

The very minute he read the sentence “I watched a record (for me) 10 college football games this year,” Simmons’s editor should’ve put the manuscript down, sat back in his chair a bit, and said, “Bill, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

How do you call yourself “The Sports Guy” if you declare upfront that you don’t watch college football? That’s like me calling myself “The Movie Guy” but saying I never watch comedies.

Exactly. Yes he has “snide disregard” for the subject. He’s from Boston, their greatest college football moment was a 5’8" qb throwing a hailmary, he can’t help it. He’s kind of like that friend who’s an ass, but atleast he’s upfront about it. His disregard for college football has always been my biggest problem with Simmons. If he paid attention to it in the least bit, he wouldn’t act like he found Tom Brady’s eye lash on his bathroom sink when Ryan Moats has a good game. For Gods sake he didn’t even know who Ryan Moats was until a couple of weeks ago. I mean the guy lead the NCAA in rushing last year. One more thing does anybody remember his “discovery” of sweet tea from last years super bowl diaries?

ESPN sucks.

rjm, easy on the Flutie comments. If Simmons had gone to BC instead of making the mistake of his life at Holy Cross he would love college sports.

RJM, he also discovered Chik-Fil-A at that time so maybe the real answer is that he was driven insane by a life without succulent crack-filled chicken sandwiches?

Dammit! I was about to post on this but elected to take lunch instead. I came back and, fuckall, here it is. Whatever. Y’all always beat me to the punch; this should come as no surprise.

However, seeing the “Sports Guy” liveblog the game was quite a surprise and pretty gd preposterous. Now hold on and don’t go posting the link to Simmon’s post where he trashes cfb in general. I am going for it right now.

“Snide disregard” is dead on. I am pretty sure that Bill Simmons was in my brownie troup 15 years ago and that the floating, oblong head that is stamped on his page is actually a picture of the real author’s older brother. How else do you explain obsessions with 90210, The OC, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, and positive neglect of SportsCenter? The “Sports Guy” is a DG, pledge Class 1999.

I enjoy both CFB and the NBA so I can see the beauty of both. But anyone who doesn’t understand the joy of January bowl games (he didn’t rip the December 23rd who-cares bowl, he is knocking the SUGAR and FIESTA Bowls) has zero business covering college football.

I only wish that ESPN didn’t have a monopoly on all things sports.

Nevermind. I ditched my Insider awhile back. But you get the point. Assclown.

His Pete Carroll bashing is beyond ridiculous; college teams screw up occasionally, it happens. But the guy has been a machine. He may have actually learned from his prior experiences in the Hub (a civic nickname so arrogant, it makes “Tampa: America’s Next Great City” look downright humble). But Simmons kills him for something the rest of America has long since fogotten, the 1997 Patriots.

Simmons blog is kind of like some idiot from Cleveland live-blogging a Patriot playoff loss this year and saying Belicheck blows just like he did with the Browns. Go Jags, just to torment the Hub and the Sports Guy.

What, are you guys new in town or something? Stop the fucking presses! ESPN does something that makes you want to drive all night to Bristol with a trunk full of automatic weapons. Yeah, that’s news. What is truly scary is that ESPN is continually finding ways to ruin all things about sports. They must be stopped..with extreme prejudice…now.

SystemsDude, I would say that for many of us this was the straw that made it obvious Simmons was part of the problem at ESPN and not one of the last remaining bright spots. The symptoms had been appearing for a while now (the SG cartoon was crime against humanity for instance), but he was so good for so long it’s just become very jarring how truly mediocre he is now. Especially to those of us that were(are) his fans.

While there are obvious, common, themes at each level football (from highschool to pros), it takes different things to really succeed at each level.

Not that we should expect Simmons to recognize this. Or to acknowledge that people learn from their mistakes sometimes.

It’s too bad too. Simmons can be funny (see the LeAnne Rimes & kneebrace comments early in the journal). But his Pete Carroll thing stopped being funny after he told it the third time (note that the third time was about 3-4 years ago and it comes up a good deal), and USC started kicking ass. And the whole “pro teams would never do this. . .” line (repeated ad naseum, up until I stopped reading in any case), was silly.

I’ve felt like Simmons was in decline for some time. So I wasn’t surprised by this. That said, I do think ESPN should get more of the blame here (shoot the column down), though I wonder if perhaps they were hoping to draw some heads that normally wouldn’t have paid attention through Simmons (I can’t imagine it would be many, but you can’t counter that ESPN has been using a lot of logic these days).

Then don’t read the column. Get over yourself. Shit, is this all you do is suck some columnists nuts all day. I don’t like Survivor, so guess what I don’t watch it. As much as you bith and moan you do like to suck their nuts don’t you. Damn no wonder you guys went to Flordia.

Oh my God, you are so right MiamiFan 88! Everything you just said is totally right. We DO like to suck nuts—everyone’s! And we do like to bith and moan all day while sucking said nuts. How’d you guess?

We did not, however, go to Flordia, though. We went to Florida. We would suck your nuts, though, were we not busy at the moment stuffing a Louisville Slugger signature-deep into your mother’s fetid vagina. She asks for it, can you believe it?

I think the important question is that as your popularity grows here will you still have the time to suck the nuts of the little people that helped you along the way?

Oh, nutsucking for everyone, JacketDan—everyone!

Honey, do mess with people from East LA, we don’t take kind to nut suckers.

Two thoughts:

1) on the Louisville Slugger – ow, on more than one level

2) Everything that ESPN has done in the last five or so years – all of it, every last shred of it all just became a matter of time before it dropped me to the floor in bowel-clenching agony.

He posts again! A record for a troll. We’re from Atlanta, and we love nutsuckers around here. Thanks for the thoughtful input—come kick our ass in Atlanta anytime, since we’d lay down like a little daisy if you so much as blew on us!

[[shudder!]]

Is that before or after you trim their hedges MiamiFan88?

Talk about my mom all the time, I’m scared. Shaking. In fact put three who, that will show me. Don’t forget a gator or better yet a football. Hey she just might suck your nuts too.

We’re not savages, 88. Alligators are spiky, and would hurt the lady’s pink parts. We’re trying to make love here. We even sand the thing down to prevent splinterage.;-)

After I trim their hedges. Are you going to get the help people that killed the hispanics to help you beat up this daisy. I would fill honored if you did.

Oh, this is great. I am never going to get any work done if y’all keep on. Who knew the best trash-talk I’ve heard all season would come the very day after it’s done? Carry on, gentlemen.

You said you were big man come on prove it stick it up there, rip it up like a man. Don’t forget to wear a condom. We bean eaters carry herpes

We’ve got work to do too, Jess. Too bad we’ve got to sand down the Slugger for our date with 88’s Mom tonight. What with that, the hours of nut-sucking we’ve got to do, and the slapdown we’ve got to receive from the 13 year-old hedge trimmer, it’s a wonder we pay the rent around here.

Yes, I’m going to beat you up, because that makes me manly. I’m totally going to whup the ass of some guy that I have no fucking clue who he is other than a screen name on the internet. Because I’m fucking hard like that.

ATL in the hiz-ouse. For life!

Am a wetback and get welfares so I got all day. Let the games begin. Unless your scared. Boo!

Hard. Getting excited. Me too.

Oh, far from it. We’re not big. We’re puny, actually. Practically infinitesimal (that means really, really small.) We get lost behind the couch cushions when we lay on the couch after our Mom beats us up for our lunch money sometimes. You’d be astonished how much change fits back there.

Yes, I’m terrified at what other horrible things you will type at me in poorly constructed sentences.

When does homeroom get out sport or are you still on Christmas vacation? I don’t want to have to keep from your algebra I class or anything.

I think this guy actually is a member of the ’88 Canes, the way he talks.

No, I am skipping algebra today. Got get my mom ready for you. I like a puny man. Sorry, about sentences just crossed from mexcio.

I ting I speak berry good ingles.

Guessing Woodland Hills, CA is a little slow today.

No not from there. East LA. Minutemen don’t like us over there.

Orson wrote "It’s ESPN putting the personality before the event again. Simmons is only partly to blame here. "

Yea, and to Comanda who wants simmons job- you will have to willingly market any piece of shit gimmick disney wants the world to know about if you work for ESPN.

Keep your soul, man.

You guys forgot to mention Simmons’ other prominent formula: I will now [insert action verb/phrase describing a form of self-mutilation]. I like the guy, but I wish he would retire this one; there are only so many forms of “I will now set myself on fire,” and he’s beaten the gimmick like a rented mule regardless…

Play time over. Better call my mom to come pick me up. Hey have you seen my grandma. She needsa visa, she is illegal. She will suck your beans.

I honestly think Simmons is doing a self-parody. Somewhere along the way he wrote something about Pearl Jam and “spin the black circle” and how they made the song because they knew it didn’t matter what they did pop culture would love it anyway. So he doesn’t care and pretty much just does what ever his editors will let him get away with. I don’t think anyone takes espn or him less seriously than he does. I mean he basically got hired for doing what the guys on this website are doing, right?

And MiamiFan88 are you part of the 7th Floor Crew?

No, but I bet it would be fun. Ever run a train on someone. You don’t want to be after the third person, because it can get slippery.

“Talk about my mom all the time, I’m scared. Shaking. In fact put three who, that will show me. Don’t forget a gator or better yet a football. Hey she just might suck your nuts too.”

Ok, Keith Jackson said that during last night’s broadcast. You shouldn’t plagarize.

RJM—say it isn’t so. Is this at all Sports Guy-esque? If so, we’ll stop right now.

I wish it were so Orson, but I fear that like Hollaback girl and My Humps this piece was released in all seriousness.

Peacedog, this does not concern you. Don’t get involved in kiddy discussion. Your way better than that.

Not at all. Yall have your own style. But he did do exactly the same thing (ie start his own website and write about sports he liked in the late ‘90s when every one was still on dial up). If someone would throw you an offer to do this as a career you’d at least have to consider it right? Just because you work for the evil empire doesn’t mean you’re completely idiotic. Everyone likes to simply bash ESPN because they are the big guy on the block and deservedly so most of the time.

Not necessarily, rjm. There’s a lot to be said for independence. Take a look at the best bloggers—not just sports guys, but all of them—and most of them are blogging independently in conjunction with a day job. We wouldn’t be able to fling words like “fucktard” around, either, which is a deal breaker by itself.

I think this has gotten a bit misconstrued as well…. I think I speak for us both when I say that we are fans of the Sports Guy and some comparisons I would take a flattering. He’s not on his A game as much as he used to be but still can make me laugh on a regular basis. The problem here is that he has no business covering the Rose Bowl and I have no business commenting on the NBA… because I don’t watch it as he doesn’t watch College Football. That said, his dislike for college football is puzzling to me since he is such a sports and gambling guy. And for Sports Guy money, I’d make Orson take the ESPN offer even if it included the rights to his soul.

“Your way better than that.”

Respectfully, you don’t know me well enough. I’m a horrible person. Trutly wretched. Do you need me to prove it to you?

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out… But the worst thing I ever done – I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa – and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Your horrible to, we got something in common. I thought you were smart when I give you an out you better take it. Don’t get involved.

Well, sort of, Stranko. The total disdain for the college game is more than an annoyance; it’s a sign of some kind of unfathomable lack of taste to us. If we were picking teams, writer wise, he might have to go to the other team in our world.

That said: don’t hold your breath on that ESPN gig yet. Last we saw, they like people who cared about numbers and didn’t name the lumps on coaches’ bodies.

Good point on the gambling. That might have something to do with his disdain for college football as it is mind numbingly hard to bet on and win consistently since there are so many teams and it is hard to keep up with who got arrested for what this week. Or maybe it’s hard because your betting on 18-22 year old kids? And I agree his material has gone down hill since he moved to the left coast. Sunshine, 70 degrees and lots of good looking T&A will do that to you. Just look at USC last night. Maybe that why Pete Carroll has the look of a guy out of his mind on prozac.

Do the shuffle, Peacedog.

I think Oz has just given you a brain. You have not responded good boy. How are my braves doing?

It is a little hypocritical for a guy who lives and dies with all of Boston’s teams to disparage fan loyalty to a college team by making fun of people watching non-BCS bowl games. You would think he would at least comprehend the concept, regardless of his affinity (or lack thereof) for college football.

Off-topic (if there is a topic), but is it appropriate to say that Miami had a train run all up in ’em by LSU?

" You would think he would at least comprehend the concept, regardless of his affinity (or lack thereof) for college football."

Punkus, that would require logic. I just file that away next to all of the northeastern sports writers who don’t get it (Braves & Birds did a piece semi recently where he ws tee-ing off on the guy on espn who wrote about how people outside of the NE didn’t understand sports loyalty. Is this a thing that people up there are more likely to believe? Maybe it’s something in the water). It is a sentiment I have run into from time to time. Of course it’s ridiculous.

No, we let them run the train on are step sister. That wasn’t us. We not fans of brokeback mountain. Like orson.

Over the past two years or so, Simmons has devolved into a total self-parody, and I personally don’t think it’s intentional. He sneaks a decent joke in every once in a while, but by and large, if you’ve read three random columns of his, you’ve essentially read them all. I’ll take Orson and Stranko every day of the week…

“Braves & Birds did a piece semi recently where he ws tee-ing off on the guy on espn who wrote about how people outside of the NE didn’t understand sports loyalty. Is this a thing that people up there are more likely to believe? Maybe it’s something in the water.”

That was Peter King from SI, and THAT was a terrible article. One too many lattes or Mary Beth lacrosse games I think.

To lighten the mood here is everyone’s favorite mustached S&C coach with Wooderson: http://www.pictopia.com/perl/get_image?size=320_art&provider_id=40&ptp_photo_id=220726

I used to read Simmons – I still do sometimes (not the cowbell crap) but I find myself skipping parts.

He isn’t funny. Maybe getting married and having a kid killed him inside?

Is he happy that his team just won the MNC, or that he went 25-0 picking the bowls?

“Good point on the gambling. That might have something to do with his disdain for college football as it is mind numbingly hard to bet on and win consistently since there are so many teams and it is hard to keep up with who got arrested for what this week.”

I’m going to have to disagree with you here. From what I’ve seen from guys that really know how to gamble CFB is where the money is to be made. Exactly because there are so many teams out there and everybody gets caught up in handicapping the games (a sure fire way to lose money.)

Simmons consistently pushes teasers and parlays. He’s never admitted it, but that asshole has probably also bought the hook on several occasions. He does not know how to gamble on sports and actually make money. I’ve long been of the opinion that anybody makes picks on ESPN or morning radio shows should have to put units with each put and what the juice is for that bet.

MM is actually stuck to Wooderson there—the gravitational attraction is just too powerful for his slim frame.

Did anyone read Shanoff today? Check this out:

-"So that poll last month to figure out where the 2005 USC team fits among the all-time greats turns out to be ESPN’s “Dewey Defeats Truman” moment (not to mention for the fans who voted USC all the way to No. 3)."-

He starts to admit ESPN’s glaring mistake yet throws the fans under the bus too. Good job ESPN. Like a sportsnation poll is any sort of valid measurement of anything. Like the whole concept wasn’t wildly premature and your producers and talent weren’t responsible. I never heard Herbie and May say “we shouldn’t be doing this.” Way to respect your customers.

Dan Shanoff should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

Shanoff’s Daily Quickie is the worst thing on the internet, and I say that with a pretty thorough knowledge of the depths of the internet.

I have been screaming the points made in comments 68 and 72 (well, not about ‘Jenkins’ so much, but the rest of it…) for about two years now with my brother, who is aiming for a marketing job with Nike and so favors the shameless suckitude of ESPN (my words, not his). I can only hope that he has followed the edsbs link I surreptitiously loaded into his bookmarks. Thanks for the articulation. Next time, I will make notecards, an improvement over my “But… but… but… no, you shut up. Dick.”

We resort to that in spoken argument, too. That’s why we keep Stranko around.

Simmons is complaining about meaningless bowl games…yet he just wrote a whole COLUMN about his desire for another NFL playoff game. Because the thing I REALLY need to see is a shit Falcons team facing off against a shit Vikings team. NFL, save about 5 teams, is mindless “Score is now: 20-13” shit. Simmons even admits to this.

What I find most galling about Simmons is his (and ESPN’s) perception that he’s the coolest writer ever b/c he drops obvious pop culture references into every column. In the culture at large, this low-grade irony was current, oh, about two decades ago. But I guess this is a revelation for mainstream sportswriters. It’s a little like being the smoothest dresser on the PGA tour.

Feeding off of what rob said, how can Bill piss on the non championship BCS games? The NFL regularly features Terrible Fucking Team A vs. Terrible Fucking Team B and tries to pretend that they’re good, screaming announcers and all. College football, at least, goes out of its way to rank the teams, thus defining as best they can the teams that are and are not good. The games that get on ABC, especially late in the season, are games that have serious implications as far as the season goes. The lesser games on ESPN and still lesser are on ESPN on Thursdays. In that point, in any case, you aren’t lied to.

The NFL and the hype around it bores me at best and pisses me the fuck off at worst. ESPN, sadly, buys into that shit. How often can we get, “HEY LOOK AT HOW GOOD THIS SC TEAM IS BEST EVAR 4 SHURE” and be expected to take them seriously?

And you guys are right. Simmons attitude was bullshit.

I remember a time where watching sportscenter was a nightly ritual. Going to their website was a daily and nightly ritual. Now, I could give two shits about their website and sportscenter. The start of the downfall for me was when Stu “One-Eye” Scott came on board. Stu seems to feel that he is above and beyond what he is reporting on. Poor droopy eye needs to wake the fuck up.

My question is, what do the college athletes, and current pro athletes think about ESPN? Do they think ESPN has become a runaway train? Or do they have to go with the flow so thay can cash in at a later date?

All I know, is that ESPN’s greatest team ever finished with a 12-1 record. That is the best part of all of this. ESPN sucks a big cock, and last night they swallowed.

Hey, what about uncle_romie his talking about sucking the stick,nuts goes with sticks.

I was just repeating what is being said here. For being homophobic your sure like talking about sucking an swallowing.

Before I start, I will say that I grew up in Boston and I like Simmons. There is an extenuating circumstance that is not obvious to a lot of folks here, but Colin Cowherd alluded to it this morning.

The simple fact is that Boston is a college football vacuum. It is amazing. Had it not been for Doug Flutie I can honestly say that I would never have heard of college football while I was growing up there in the early 80’s. This is complicated by the fact that most high school football games were played on Saturdays until very recently. The end result is that there are six states of people who know nothing about college football. Nothing. It is incredibly hard to believe, but it’s true. You wouldn’t believe the conversations I’ve had with my dad recently—it’s like talking to an alien who just landed on this planet. (I told him that I shook Urban Meyer’s hand at the Outback Bowl luncheon and he (seriously) asked me who Urban Meyer was.

I came south in the mid 80’s. It took me awhile to catch on, but a girl asked me to a Clemson-Carolina game I was hooked on big time college football from that point on.

I hate ESPN. I think Simmons is funny. Don’t blame him if he knows nothing about college football. It’s not his fault.

I mean Hell, this guy is a Holy Cross grad, and obviously they’re never gonna win the tournament, but would he be cheering like Holy Hell for them when they wind up paired against, say, Kansas in the bracket?

Dan, there’s a crucial difference there. If Holy Cross were to win, then they’d continue in a tournament and have a chance— in theory— to win the championship. Simmons’ point is that no matter what happens in nearly every bowl game— in this example, one between the 9th and 12th ranked teams— both teams will still finish the year having failed to win the championship, which, to him, means the game amounts to an exhibition.

i guess i am not as cool as some of the dudes who have sworn off espn.com and sportscenter eons ago, but the blog in question violated me in a bad way. sportsguy was a consistent source of kick-ass columns before jimmy kimmel took him to l.a. and raped his soul. leaving boston and working for that spectaculatly unfunny show, combined with the crushing weight of fatherhood and husbandry, utterly broke the man. i have been hoping he would get his mojo back, even after that self-serving tripe of a book, but the exchanges with Chuck Klosterman only prove how far he has fallen. sportsguy can in no way be excused for his performance in the rose bowl blog, in a manner similar to which Stalin and Idi Amin can not be absolved by history. their crimes were just too great, but at least Joe and Idi can bury their victims. i, on the other hand, have to live with that goddamned blog.

As Black Bart is saying, Simmons is simply the product of growing up in the Northeast. As a New Jersey resident and Syracuse senior (my mom is a UT grad which is why I am a Vol fan and college football fanatic), I can attest that the Northest with the exception of the Penn State area couldn’t give two shits about college football.

Sorry, meant to add more. Not since the days of Columbia and Yale has the area had a team worth cheering for, and NYC will rarely hop onto national college football either. To put it into perspective, the national rating for the Rose Bowl was about a 23. NYC’s rating was a 13. Syracuse has tried to brand itself “New York’s college team” but it most certainly is not (and who would want a 1-10 team?). New York isn’t even a HUGE pro football fanatic area to be honest. It is a baseball and pro basketball town now. WFAN’s “Mike and the Mad Dog” actually spent most of the last two days previewing/recapping the Rose Bowl which shows HOW MUCH hype it had, because it would never get that kind of coverage unless it was a huge game. People from the Northeast do not understand the huge impact college football has regionally and how fanatical people are about it. It’s a strange phenomenon. I would’ve been a contemptible smarmy bastard toward college ball like Simmons is if my mom wasn’t a UT alum and I didn’t go down to Neyland a couple times. College football—especially in the SEC—is a tremendous experience that I wish more of us Northeasterners gave a chance.

Reading Bill Simmons for legitimate sports writing is like reading Maureen Dowd or Paul Krugman for accurate political commentary. WTF is an “NBA” anyway?

“I hate ESPN. I think Simmons is funny. Don’t blame him if he knows nothing about college football. It’s not his fault.”

Hey, Ig et that it’s college football vacuum (except,m you know, BC is pretty good. . . and has been off and on for awhile now). The sport takes a big backseat to the pro stuff up there, that’s fine (the opposite is true in other places. In Georgia, it’s 1) Dawgs and then probably 2) Falcons & Braves. Georgia Tech ranks somewhere below Southwestern Academy middle school at #452 on the list, FWIW).

But that’s not the problem. His not liking the game isn’t the problem. The problem is three fold:

1) Why would ESPN allow him to do a column when hedoesn’t like the sport, and all he is going to do is make some jokes and then make fun of the sport? I think I know why. But I also think the decision was kind of silly. From a strategic standpoint, I think we’d have benefitted more from a running diary of a random NBA game, which probably would have been funnier (his NBA stuff is still generally top notch I find).

2) Simmons’s dislike of the sport is well known, at least if you’ve read him. He rehashed a bunch of jokes he’s used multiple times over the past however many years (I started rreading him right after he got the ESPN gig, fwiw).

From that stand point, his column came off as a little canned. Now, someone who hasn’t read him wouldn’t know that this is the 37th time he’s told the Pete Carrol joke in 3 years, I’ll grant you.

3)Not understanding the game, and even not liking it, are not the end of the world. However, trying to comment intelligently on something while not understanding it is ridiculous. And Simmons thinks that because he follows pro football he gets it. But it’s clear he doesn’t. To listen to him, we’re all idiots for following our teams, unless they happen to wind up in the BCS title game.

And that’s the big issue. That Simmons didn’t grow up in an area where collegefootball was embraced is irrelevant. You won’t see me doing a hockey column for any reputable news service any time soon, ahving grown up in the south away from the game. I can go blog to my heart’s content about it if I wish, but I think an organization like ESPN would be remiss if they allowmed me to do a piece on hockey and then all I did was repeatedly bash it and reveal considerable ignorance about the sport. I’d certainly deserve some flack for hockey fans because of it.

It’s a free country and Simmons is entitled to think whatever the fuck he pleases. But I’m also entitled to point out when he’s being a boob. Which he is, with this column.

I’m with you, Peace. I’ve been reading Simmons since before he got to ESPN and, you’re right, a lot of that stuff was rehashed. I thought his Keith Jackson comments were right on, even though I’m a huge fan of Keith Jackson and think he is a college football icon. He even threw some props to Holly Rowe, for goodness sakes.

Why did ESPN let him write a column about it? No idea, other than the four letter network hype machine was in overdrive—everyone short of Dick Vitale and Ewa Laurence was weighing in on this game. But I guess that is the point of the column.

Had Young not scored that final TD, I would have won a few hundred dollars in a bowl pool. Despite losing that money, I was happy that ESPN and their coronation of USC as the greatest college football team ever got stuffed.

It is thoroughly amazing to me how little college football matters in the Northeast. I consider Peter King a good writer and I enjoy his weekly MMQB columns. He writes about most things guys like us would care about, but he discusses Montclair High School softball more than college football.

I am a complete convert. After growing up in a household where weekends revolved around the Sunday games of the New England Patriots and the New York Giants, I hardly watch pro football. If I wasn’t a degenerate gambler, I wouldn’t watch what I do watch.

I recently movd to Boston, and was shocked how little attention is paid to even local college football teams, not to mention the sport in general. I did not expect this city to be SEC country football crazy, but people here do not seem to think beyond pro football, and would not care about that either if the Pats werent good -These people used to love the Celtics now when I ask if its easy to get tickets the answer is “ya, but why would ya want to?”.
The general lack of enthusiasm for college football made it hard for me to even find bookies who wanted action on games. But I found a couple and will single handedly ensure this sport is in local bookies stream of conscience even if it means I was 48% against the spread.

As I see it there is only one solution to this problem: Simmons must be baited into a discussion of the merits or lack of them as he sees it about college football. There’s enough intelligence and knowledge on this and other blogs to sway is opinion. Get him on campus during game week, open his eyes to what he and the rest of the northeast are missing. Bombard him with emails that don’t say something like “You suck”.

Bill has been doing this for years, not just in response to the new “blogging” fads that are popping up around the internet. Yeah, you guys are idiots