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January 4, 2006

GET EET OWUN

Off to do pregame and jitter for two hours before the national championship game starts. If it’s as good as any of these, we’ll consider ourselves fortunate:

Beavis vs. Butthead

Kirk vs. Spock. So, sooooo gay, but epic

Sultana vs. hapless, insanely aroused chump in Faster, Pussycat

Vanilla Ice vs. Todd Bridges

Can’t take a fireball, weirdly enough.

We can only hope…

37 Responses to “GET EET OWUN”

1

SystemsDude says:

Shit. I had 20 bucks on the fact that you Celebrity Boxing reference would be Screech vs. Horshack.

January 4th, 2006 at 7:31 pm
2

Azher says:

I think it was the homoerotic tension between kirk and spock that made me watch so many freaking episodes of star trek. That and I wanted to eat the enterprise.

January 4th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
3

RowdyRoddyPiper says:

The ball never lies…fuck, now all the Trojan fans have an excuse!!!

PS. Band is generally regarded as gay; I don’t necessarily subscribe to that. Band at Texas comes with fringe and a cowboy hat…making it well very very gay.

January 4th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
4

RowdyRoddyPiper says:

Okay, trojan band…also quite fruity. Leave the dancing the the bands at the HBC. Also, playing Weird Al doesn’t help anything.

January 4th, 2006 at 11:17 pm
5

RowdyRoddyPiper says:

The fringed butt banditos must have read your dire prediction for the first quarter. They opened up with “Help”…really, guys?

When I launch my blog, wemustevisceratethisref.com, I’m going to liveblog every halftime performance I can.

January 4th, 2006 at 11:28 pm
6

Solon says:

First things first, that was, unquestionably, the greatest performance by a single individual I have ever seen. Credit to VY, there aren’t enough superlatives to describe what he did tonight.

That said, I’d like to thank Reggie Bush for his moment of improv (or, as the Brits would say, “moment of madness”). I’m trying to think of a stupider play on a big stage–surely it’s out there, but I can’t think of what it could be (perhaps Wayne Cook (UCLA QB) scrambling for 5 yards on 3rd and 9 from the Wisconsin 15 as time ran out in the 1994 Rose Bowl).

Oh, yeah, and Mack Brown can still kiss my ass. Whiny bitch.

January 5th, 2006 at 1:25 am
7

Ian says:

Michigan, yours is no disgrace. Vince Young is God.

January 5th, 2006 at 1:28 am
8

Chris Lawrence says:

I guess Chris Fowler et al will have to mop all of Pete Carroll’s jizz off their faces in a big hurry. This should be fun to watch…

January 5th, 2006 at 1:30 am
9

D-Dub says:

Bet there is a lot of room on the USC bandwagon now. What happened to the greatest team in history? ESPN you pukes.

Will the USC hacks whine about the “phantom TD?”

Pete Carroll can slurp my butt.

January 5th, 2006 at 1:30 am
10

Brian @ mgoblog says:

Yeah, I did happen to think “well, at at least it wasn’t just us” about every third play.

OMG IS USC THE BEST ONE LOSS TEAM OF ALL TIME?

January 5th, 2006 at 1:31 am
11

Jack says:

Except that Fowler picked Texas before the game…

January 5th, 2006 at 1:32 am
12

Bill says:

Looked to me like USC missed a few easy oppurtunities for about 3 touchdowns in the first quarter. Well, at least all this Big-12 Texas and Pac-10 USC hype is finally over. Im tired of watching these BCS national championships games and totally not caring about who wins. Go SEC in 2006!!!!!

January 5th, 2006 at 1:33 am
13

YMB says:

I don’t know which is more arousing; Holly Rowe (seriously) or the Texas Cheerleaders in the camel-toe accentutating chaps.

January 5th, 2006 at 1:35 am
14

Chris Lawrence says:

Yes, Ms. Rowe did look pretty smokin’ tonight. ABC must have finally broken out the cameras that don’t add ten pounds!

January 5th, 2006 at 1:38 am
15

Scott says:

That’ll about do it for the gang of six

January 5th, 2006 at 1:55 am
16

father figure says:

The fans were already chanting “best team ever” behind the gameday set just now. Does Colorado take solace in this? I mean, losing 70-3 to a regular team is one thing; but losing 70-3 to the national champ? Not nearly as bad…

January 5th, 2006 at 1:58 am
17

father figure says:

BTW, will people see this as a repuidation of the “Pete Carrol=genius” argument that it was? Wasting a timeout before a two point conversion that was scored in the most likely manner possible? What did he plan during the timeout; the seating arrangements in his van for the ride home?

January 5th, 2006 at 2:00 am
18

Moose Bigelow says:

Does Tom Leinart look like Clay Stork from One Crazy Summer or is it just me?

January 5th, 2006 at 2:02 am
19

Kanu says:

Thoughts:

1) First and foremost, the history tonight was made not on the field, but on the sidelines. Texas did the unthinkable(prepare for what until tonight was the most blasphemous statement in CFB history): Those buttless-chapped Texas cheerleaders out-hotted (out-sexyied?) the USC Song Girls. Unthinkable but true. Fuck, fuck, fuck you! ABC for showing Leinart’s Dad 58 times and these amazing outfits only 5(and the song girls only 10). Fuckers…

2) VY now has 2 of the 4 most insane games I have ever witnessed – Rose 06 & Rose 05 (others being Bush 05 v. Fresno & Vick 99 Sugar v. FSU).

3) Bush’s lateral: dumbest thing I’ve seen in a big game (Reggie Ball 04 v Georgia is not a big game). That massive miscue will be remembered 50 years from now, and will haunt the memory of SC fans Buckner sytle, forever. (I think SC was in the red zone 5 times in the 1H and only got 1 pts – amazing)

4) 4th & 2 for SC, 4th quarter, biggest play of the season for SC, and Heisman winner (and toughest guy to tackle in the universe not named VY) Reggie Bush is on the fucking sidelines. Nice call Kiffin. Would Norm Chow have done this? (answer: NO). I’m not even saying that they had to give hime the ball (personally I would have), but not to have him on the field is supremely stupid, especially if you are going to run White up the middle. Shit, put Reggie in the backfield and then motion him out to WR and I guarantee you that he would have attracted at least 2 dudes attention, thereby making it more likely for White to get 2 yards running up the middle. Just plain dumb.

4) Craig James showed just how much the national pundits do not even watch fucking games. Almost at the end they threw it to the three stooges in the endzone and James said about LinDale White “I didn’t realize he was this good!” What a fucking moron, and it’s too bad that LD missed the great finish because I’m pretty sure that his head exploded at that very moment. Anyone who watched SC play several times this year and/or last would not be suprised at all by White’s performance tonight – they guy led the fucking NCAA in TDs and everyone who watches them even semi-regularly knows this.

5) Obviously Disney/ABC/ESPN look like the biggest fucking idiots of all time. They are the laughingstocks of the universe, and deservedly so. After what they did the last month, they now HAVE to play Texas 05 against every great team from the past to even keep a shred of respectability (of course they won’t). We are about to witness one of the biggest bandwagon abandonments of all time.

6) This game was hyped even more than any Super Bowl that I can remember, and 75% of those are anti-climatic blowouts. I never thought that this game could live up to the hype but it did, and for that I am thankful, since this is the last CFB we will get until Labor Day.

Prediction: Vince Young = Travis Ford (Texas player saying they are definitely coming back and then going pro).

January 5th, 2006 at 2:03 am
20

Flop says:

Yeah, nice to see someone else try to stop Vince Young when he has unlimited health and weapons. Dude can ball.

January 5th, 2006 at 2:12 am
21

krish says:

Well written Kanu..

Now as a Michigan fan, I feel so relieved. The butt-whupping didn’t happen to just us.

05 Mich D > 06 USC D Baby. Even though both were decimated by Vince.

Now Vince, please go to the pros.

January 5th, 2006 at 2:47 am
22

Solon says:

I am still trying to get my head around the result, but this might have been the greatest CFB bowl game of all time. Consider the following:

(1) Undisputed top two teams in the nation
(2) 34 and 19 game winning streaks on the line
(3) The top three Heisman finishers this season, and last two winners, featured
(4) The winning points scored on a TD run on a 4th down with 19 seconds left, capping perhaps the greatest performance in a bowl game, ever
(5) Five lead changes, four in the 2nd half
(6) Lots of offense, lots of points
(7) (sorry, West Coast guy) It was the Rose Bowl, which is as good as it gets

I think the general consensus is that the 2003 Fiesta and the 1984 Orange are considered the greatest bowl games ever, but I saw both and I think this one might have been better.

Furthermore, Orson–congrats, I think you scored $20 from HP. I suspect that guy is going to suffer more shit than he did after Boise-Georgia in the next couple days. I wouldn’t want to be him right now.

January 5th, 2006 at 3:04 am
23

Kanu says:

Thanks, man. Well written but poorly typed, since I can neither count to 7 nor understand that it is not possible to score 1 pt in CFB.

No shame by the way in losing to VY. Michigan nor SC got butt-whuppings, they lost close, epic battles after which they really have no reason to hang their heads. LSU-Miami & Utah-GT were butt-whuppings. Miami & GT fans are pleading for the backup QBs from LSU & Utah to go pro.

January 5th, 2006 at 3:09 am
24

Kanu says:

Damn, having to deal with the 3rd grade, ignorant, non-sensical, vitriol from that Spirit Of Bill Oliver guy almost makes me feel bad for HP.

Almost.

January 5th, 2006 at 3:15 am
25

Solon says:

Spirit of Bill Oliver either has an IQ of over 200 and is just on a different level than any of us–or he’s severely mentally retarded. I can’t tell, really.

January 5th, 2006 at 3:21 am
26

Kanu says:

Solon – I think that your angle is what ESPN (& the media at large) are going to push in the next few days to try to make them look a little less ridiculous for pre-maturely anointing SC like they did (they’re still as great as we have been saying because they barely lost the greatest game ever!)*

*See post-SC coverage of 2005 Notre Dame for further reference.

They seem to be on a ‘greatest ever’ kick in the last year or so, but this one actually merits consideration. I agree with your assertion, but more interesting is: will it be the highest rated game (given all the hype) of all time when it was on a Wednesday night? If it turns out to be, then in the eyes of the media/mktg/PR people the hype “worked”, and will only be larger the next time undefeated #1 meets undefeated #2 (think fast food chain marketing tie-in like for the ‘blockbuster’ movies, etc.)

January 5th, 2006 at 3:27 am
27

paul says:

Did the flashback to Reggie Bush making a successful lateral in a high school game somehow justify the outrageous stupidity of that giveaway?

If USC had punted in the 4th quarter it would have only made for an even more impressive 80+ yard drive by Vince Young. That guy was unbelievable and would not have been denied regardless of the starting point of the drive.

January 5th, 2006 at 8:08 am
28

RowdyRoddyPiper says:

WTF Pete…fake punt! Works like a charm.

Epic…VY, that’s a guy lifting his team onto his shoulders and carrying them downfield. Anyone think this performance alters the NFL draft order (should Young come out?). I could imagine the Texans could take a page from the WNBA and draft some in state star power. Plus if you don’t have an O-Line, a QB that can use his legs to get out of trouble may not be such a bad thing.

January 5th, 2006 at 9:31 am
29

bitterhorn says:

USC is going to ring up 21 unanswered in the 5th quarter. Just ask Leinert. The “Better Team” is going to pull this one out.

January 5th, 2006 at 10:12 am
30

gatorjess says:

Um, I know this was covered in the E!SPN post’s comments, but after last night’s broadcast, I can’t stay tight-lipped. How fucking senile is Keith Jackson? I can’t remember one non-Capt. Obvious thing he had to say and he continued to blunder through the commentary and was only able to compensate by asserting his relevance over and over again with that Young’s knee thing.

Apparently, while he was blubbering, there was a pretty good game on. Way to go, ‘Horns.

January 5th, 2006 at 10:26 am
31

gatorjess says:

Bitterhorn — I caught that too. Offscreen, a dead dog was waiting for Matt and his manly left fist.

January 5th, 2006 at 10:29 am
32

Joey says:

Who wins, Vince Young or Ditka?

January 5th, 2006 at 10:48 am
33

Bill says:

Epic game. But we need to WAIT before we call it the best ever. We can’t go off on ESPN for lack of perspective and then declare this the best ever less than 12 hours after it ended.

January 5th, 2006 at 11:03 am
34

goldenbear says:

Vince Young is something special. Wow! His legs impress me more than anything. He passed well, but the secondary was leaving holes the size of Texas for him throw to. I’ve never seen a prevent secondary for 4 quarters. But let’s face it neither D showed up(41-38) and each team tried to play themselves out of the national championship in the first half.

Vince Young played well enough to not only keep them in it but win… Lendale White played well enough to keep them in it but lost. Damn shame, but being a CAL fan either team losing was going to make their tears taste extra sweet.

Reggie Bush, you go sit in the corner and think about what you did for eternity.

Matt Leinart, Way to go out classy. Next time just think it. Don’t say it. Jerk!

Pete Carrol, Good for you going for it on 4th down. I wouldn’t have trusted your D either.

Mack Brown, You can stop listening to 50 Cent before every game now to gel with your QB. He doesn’t need you.

Vince Young, I forgive you for saying you would stay at Texas. Run be free in the NFL. It’s ok.

Craig James, You are what is wrong with college sports and the East Coast bias. The Pac 10 is always on too late for you guys and you never happened to check the box score of the hottest team in the nation(at the time). Lendale White is a pimp and will thrive in the NFL.

Craig your lips my ass…. They should meet!

January 5th, 2006 at 11:38 am
35

tzubear says:

Orson – thanks for placing the faster pussycat pic after the spock/kirk gayfest, instead of before. Sultana induced arousal would still have been lingering as I scrolled down past the trekky opera.

Kanu – great post (#19). I am glad someone who can write voiced what I was thinking.

January 5th, 2006 at 10:30 pm
36

tzubear says:

forgot to add…

Kanu’s point 4 resonated with me as well. The camera focused on bush standing on the sideline as if to ask the very same question.

January 5th, 2006 at 10:34 pm
37

The Spirit of Bill Oliver says:

Wow, Zanu, according to you My “Vitriol” still leaves a bitter aftertaste despite it’s Mint flavor as advertised on the label. Well cry me a fuc*ing river, because unlike other brands IT IS THE ONLY ONE, *guaranteed* to protect against gingivitis and PAC-10 homerism.

I knew Florida fans were faggots, but as to them being *cowardly* faggots – I had no idea.

And to Solon, it is neither “Genius” nor “Retardation” that you witness from The Spirit of Bill Oliver.

It’s Whiskey, straight from the bottle, no interruption.

January 10th, 2006 at 1:25 am