JOE PATERNO GETS COACH OF THE YEAR AWARD FOR RESCUING PROGRAM FROM SELF

Good points for sure, but I can’t get past the Aaron Taylor falling asleep with a barrito hanging out of his mouth comment. I wouldn’t mind a whole column devoted to that single topic.

To quote Hey Jenny Slater, "Older-than-old school. At times they almost make you worry they’re losing it, but even then they demand your respect. After all, have you won 357 D-IA games or fought with the Flying Hellfish in WWII? No? Then STFU, whippersnapper! "

As an ND alum, I’m obviously biased, but you have omitted Charlie Weis and included, for some reason, Steve Spurrier. He improved the team’s record by one game over last season, beating the worst Tennessee team in decades and UF in one of the most disgraceful displays of coaching and execution mine eyes hath e’er seen. It may have been off the radar, but South Carolina has been recruiting pretty good talent for the last several years. The cupboard was not bare.

On the other hand, we have Charlie Weis, who took an ND team whose collective ass was blown out by a 6-5 team in last year’s Insight.com Bowl and broke nearly every offensive record in my school’s long and storied history…in the team’s first season with his brand-new system. On top of that, he has made ND fans all over the place with his class and the incredible example he sets. We were the monkey’s uncle of D-I football a year ago and couldn’t have bought good PR.

Now, it’s onto the BCS.

By the way, I thought you guys didn’t like Spurrier anymore(?).

Felt I should put my two cents in as a faithful PSU alum: Joe made the comment that it should really be called a ‘Coaching Staff’ award. If that were the case, I would agree that it should go to PSU as the staff really did right the ship (at least, we hope!). Although Galen Hall has gotten the press, Tom Bradley (internal heir to the Paterno thrown) doesn’t get nearly as much press as he should. Given all of this, I probably would have given my vote to Charlie Weis or Mack Brown for Coach of the Year.

More ND bias here as well. I love what Weis has done for ND but 5 day George deserves this one. 1 win to 8, that is impressive.

I could see Mack Brown getting a nod, but he is in Texas afterall. Highschool football in Texas comes before God, family, paying your bills, geeting passing grades, eating, sleeping, and sex. The guy never has to leave the state to recruit players.

Absolutely spot-on about the zombie coach. It’s like he soiled his “Oops, I Crapped My Pants”, and we’re rewarding him for finally changing his own diaper.

O’leary obviously did more with less than anyone else in the country. JoPa probably has to get reminded of winning COTY at diaper-changing time daily.

Mack Brown? Not unless it’s for hiring Gene Chizik (or firing carl reese).

I have to agree with Steedle AND Rome above. As an ND alum, I am biased as well. CDub should at least have been MENTIONED, maybe you’ve been distracted by Cuddles Swindle’s graduation ceremonies. I digress. I believe that the award should have gone to an ND Coach (a former one), the ‘one out of central casting’, that’s now in Central Fla. Besides, I don’t think that CDub would be too ‘pleased’ with getting a COY award with a 9-2 team. Anyway, thanks for the great work that you guys have done this year. Look forward to more JOCKularity in ’06. GO IRISH!! (and ANYONE who plays S. Superior).

Oh, a glaring omission to be sure in not mentioning Weis. Shame on us.

1) I am a Penn State guy, and I am seriously torn. While I may want to agree with this, if I diss Uncle Joe, somebody will come and bust the wheels off my wagon, if you know what I mean.

2) Here’s the solution to your wish give Florida a mascot offensive to the PC police. Keep the nickname Gators, but replace Albert with Burt Reynolds from the film classic “Gator.” Yeah, I know Burt comes from the Florida Institute for Special Education, but consider the following.

Burt is a white guy. The PC police hate white guys; everything they do is about screwing white guys.

The movie “Gator” sucked hard, and being reminded of it daily will piss off the Hollywood PC crowd.

Burt provides lots of fodder for Mustache Wednesday.

Albert the ‘Gay-Tor’ in drag might offend.

I dub thee Sir Orson, Beater of Asses, knight of Mars. Your first mission is to find Joe Pa’s ass… and beat it.

The Coach of the year should be THE COACH, Jonathan Coachman.

Mike Steele: As a Gamecock fan, I feel like I have to challenge this “only one game better” theory. Sure, Tennessee was bad, but SC never beaten them in Knoxville EVER. Similar situation for the Florida game. If you don’t follow them that closely, I could understand how you don’t recognize the improvement. Under Holtz, when the team was 2-3 after crushing losses to Alabama and Auburn(combined score of about 80 to 17) the team would’ve just packed it up and said “See ya next year.” Instead they rolled off 5 wins in a row, something never before done. And all that talent? Gone, either left for the pros-or Auburn-or kicked off the team for various reasons.
In the end I agree with Orson though, the Clemson loss killed off his chances. Give it to O’Leary or (shudder)Mack Brown.
And as a Gamecock fan I feel like I can truly say: “one loss is a tragedy. A million is just a statistic.”

Nice comment, comrade Rob. Nothing will be spared in the name of revolution!

Allow me to beg to differ on O’ Leary.

The guy has done a good job, no question, but it’s been made easier by the fact that his team joined an easier conference this year (UCF was winless in the MAC last year, a conference that routinely dominates C-USA competition on the field, as evidenced by last night’s blowout in Mobile), and also by the fact that well, let’s face it, UCF takes kids that even the SEC won’t go near with a ten-foot pole.

O’ Leary deserves hearty congratulations for the turnaround, but giving him Coach of the Year honors is kind of like praising Phil Fulmer (undoubtedly with lots and lots of luscious, tasty fruit-filled pastries) if the Vols went undefeated next year after dropping down to the Sun Belt…

Clearly no one has watched UCF play. Many teams had great sesasons, but O’Leary should get the nod, and here’s why:

1. Giving it to Joe Pa is morrally wrong and would encourage other coaches to tank their programs for a decade and then miraculously win again. Next Pete Carroll due to lack of attention and being disrespected like the Patriots by ESPN will plunge SC back to where they came from only to win the PAC 10 in 5 years just so he too can save himself from himself and then get patted on the back for doing so.

2. Isn’t it enough that Domer’s get to go to the Fiesta bowl? Take your 14 mil and leave the rest of the country alone—we really don’t care about you. Charlie is a great guy, we know. He’ll be just fine without this award. Besides, where will he put it with all those Super Bowl Trophies and pictures of Tom Brady.

3. SOS gets props for beating up UcheaT and UF, but see above. USC-East should be very happy with their coach, but that same UCF took you to the woodshed in the 2nd half. Like SOS needs ANYTHING else to feed his ginormous ego. Now go figure outhow to beat Clemson.

C’mon JP, you know better than that about us Domers. Why should we be satisfied with the Fiesta Bowl when we’re one tipped 4th-and-9 pass away from playing Texas in the Rose Bowl?

O’Leary or Mack Brown? What is the criteria here? They are apples and oranges.

If you want to give it to the most successful coach, then give it to Mack Brown or Pete Carroll. If you want to give it to a coach who turned his program around, give it to O’Leary or Weis. If you feel mired with sentimentality, give it to Jeff Bower. Spurrier’s accomplishments this year do not stand out among Division-I coaches, no matter what the criteria.

That’s the whole point DJ—you have a lot to be excited about, and Weis is clearly putting ND back on the map. Be happy. But the Coach of the Year award IMO is for a coaching job that was heads and shoulders above the others. ND as many people don’t want to admit it had some talented players. Ty didn’t recruit 85 alter boys. So get your Alums together and fund the Restoring a Program Award and give it to Charles. He would get my vote for that one.

I think you guys are being a little hard on Paterno. He’s at least in the top five for COY. I mean, wasn’t Penn State’s turnaround every bit as impressive as UCF’s? They improved quite a bit. At the same time, if Paterno was 58 instead of 98, I don’t think he would have had a chance to win it. O’Leary, Weis, Paterno would be my rough top three.

Jeff Bower is the most underrated coach in America.

Coach of the year, to me, is a tricky award. For the most part, I think it should go to the coach whose team is incomprehensibly good. To that end, Paterno doesn’t really deserve it—while what they’ve done is a bit of a surprise, it’s not that much of a surprise, relatively speaking—their D was incredible last season, and they returned 9 starters. Robinson’s maturity was all that was needed to get them over the hump, and it did.

So, given my criteria, worthy candidates would include Charlie Weis, Steve Spurrier, and George O’Leary, all of whom surpassed expectations tremendously.

But, unquestionably, my coach of the year is Gary Patterson at TCU. His team—which returned a pedestrian 13 starters—stepped up to a tougher conference and won it with ease, even though in the preseason consensus they were picked for 5th place or so of 9 teams.

Keep in mind also that when TCU beat both Oklahoma and Utah, both still had their aura of greatness—Oklahoma, less so because of the Orange Bowl, of course, although they were still viewed as a legitimate national power until TCU beat them—and TCU was the team that ended Utah’s long winning streak. Only an incomprehensible loss to SMU (clearly a letdown after the win over Oklahoma) kept them from being part of the BCS discussion this season—thankfully, really.

“Indian like Wahoo McDaniel. Not Indian like Ghandi.”
— Dusty Rhodes (as impersonated by Mike Bell of 790theZone)

Patterson all the way. The JoePa give was a sentimental bit of hogwash…similar to a National Championship secured by a certain representative from Nebraska as part of his Cher like Farewell tour. It’s bullshit, but so are most of these awards.

To all you Domos, kudos on the detective work, JoePa is Old…he may wear depends. It’s entirely possible that he was the Lindbergh baby.

My equally keen observation, CDub (when’s his next joint drop??), is obese, morbidly so. His BMI of 40 puts him squarely between John Candy and Dom Deluise on the fatassitude scale. The topper, he’s already had Gastric Bypass Surgery. Yes, the same surgery that got Carnie Wilson from Elephantine to Large Human Sized appears to have no effect on the Weis man; in fact he may be getting fatter!!! His inner fatty is truly irrepressible. Go ahead, try and stop it. It will eat you!!#!# BlaaaarG!

My sincere hope is that CWizzie can win a COY award before the inevitable myocardial infarction / Sumo Death Match with Fulmer rends him from this mortal coil. How else will he fill that hole in his heart that cannot be filled by superbowl rings, 40gajillion dollars or 15 unsupervised minutes at the Candlelight Buffet.

RRP’S on the scary turkish java today. Remember not to eat the grounds.

What about snorting them? Is that bad? If it is, don’t tell me, it’s too late. I’ve also stumbled across JoePa’s stash of bourbon spiked Ensures. I’ve got all the niacin I can handle and a whiskey drunk to boot. 100% of my RDA slutz!#!!#!!

one more stalin pseudoquote…Re Charlie Weis for COTY: “Charlie Weis? And how many divisions does he have?”

hope the NSA likes college football

one more stalin pseudoquote…Re Charlie Weis for COTY: “Charlie Weis? And how many divisions does he have?”

I’m not sure, but he has 4 time zones.

Precisely. You echoed my sentiments here!

Why would you want to give it to someone who flushed his shit for a change after 5 miserable years. He’s probably the best coach who got the award for NOT coaching and thankfully so for PSU folks. I heard a couple of times in the season that he couldn’t entirely stomach the idea of freshmen playing but then he had to relent to the pressure of the asst. coaches. And their offense system apparently took leaves out of Texas O System! So is this award for copying. Cuz offense was the major thing which changed this yr. Their D was good throughout – even during their Stunk Age Era.

If not for the final second miracle at Michigan, they would be in the Nat championship game. Either Texas or OSU would’ve been robbed cuz of Joepa’s age and cuteness factor!

Even though I am a Michigan fanatic, I want to hand it over to Charlie Weis for turning it around! Notre Dame in our schedule looks scary now.

Sorry .. That was USC in para #2

You clearly want to hand it over to Charlie Weis because you’re a chubby chaser. What on earth makes you think that either Texas or USC would be on the outside looking in if PSU were also undefeated? You’re going to have to do better than Age/Cuteness factor. I’m pretty sure there’s not an adjustment for that in the BCS formula, though I wouldn’t be entirely shocked.

Rowdy

I confess now that I am indeed a chubby chaser. Who would be a natural bobblebody !? C Weis indeed!

Al as PC: with a handle, he is luggage; with a shoulder strap, he is a handbag; with Steve Spurrier’s foot up his rear, he is a shoe.