The setup: you’re a woman in Boston, 1980, just getting off work and wanting to feel her oats a little. You know, the rain has lightened up to a light pounding drizzle, and the temperature has risen to a welcoming 38 degrees outside, which means spring in Boston, the time of regeneration, new hope, and cheap sex in a tiny apartment with a man you’ll ditch by May.

So you hit Frankie’s bar and get a few Long Island Ice Teas in you, and you start scoping the scene. Oh, you’re looking for a man with a ’stache beyond compare, because this is 1980, and mustaches aren’t just lip cozies…no, they’re badges of uncontrollable sexual potency. And as if on cue, just as Boz Scaggs’ “Love, Look What You’ve Done to Me” cranks up on the jukebox, he walks in:

Nothing says sex like Peter Gammons with a mustache.