HOW TO BE A ND FAN

Florida would be easy… Wear Jean Shorts > Drive Fiero > Gold Chain > you are a Florida Fan

It would be a lot funnier if it wasnt true.

Voluminous, your model’s a bit off. It’s impossible since Fieros all spontaneously combusted in early 2001. They were engineered to do that.

Its amusing, but coming from a BC page, you have to take it with a grain of salt. You could make one for a BC fan (you know, apply to ND and BC -> go to BC -> convince yourself that you getting rejected from ND was the best thing that could have happened -> obsess about ND for the rest of your life -> etc, etc, etc) but who would want to read about that?

I think the BC site left something out in there diagram.
>OVER-REACT

Now lets leave the chart making to Boston College so Notre Dame can do what it does best: lose BCS bowls

Replace Fiero with IROC or an old Pontiac Firebird with the T-top roof-thingys that you take off and throw in the back.

Either way you’re set.

Doing one for Auburn would be easy.

Apply to UGA and Apply to Auburn > Get rejected by UGA, but accepted by Auburn > spend all your time telling your friends at UGA how much their school sucks > proceed to come to Athens several times during the semester because there is more than just cow pastures > graduate and have a UGA grad be your boss (granted, this is at Wal-Mart, because you were both marketing majors)

For UF, you’d have steps: Grumble about HBC when team loses one game at home. Pretend to be glad HBC moves to NFL. Hire NFL asst. coach who tries hard. Set-up website to fire new coach before 1st game. Fire hard-trying coach. Hire flavor of the month. Dream about dynasty re-instatement. Lose to former HBC. Accept invitation from frat brothers at Outback Bowl.

Not bad, Mike—all factual, much like 5-6 and no bowl bid.

Eddie, how about just bowl games in general? The last Irish bowl win, the cotton bowl, was at the end of the 93 season.

Ors,

It is hard to poke fun when you’ve got 5-6 anchor around your neck. But I still try reminding myself that we have the best women’s basketball program in the country. LOL. Oh and I think our women’s volleyball team beat your’s too and women’s soccer. We’re desparate here – can you tell.

Who cares, its just a BC fan and most of it is not true.

You deserve points for trying, Mike—audacity deserves some plaudits.

We were unaware of the women’s volleyball team loss, which is surprising, since we’re desperate men who like nothing better than watching fit, grunting young women jump up and down in hot pants all day. Congrats.

What they wear hardly qualifies as “pants”. Add to the “fit, grunting” description “long, slender legs that reach the sky”.

One more thing then back to work:

Do you think if Chris Leak returns for his Senior year, Fulmer will make a wise crack about him coming back to be a 3 out of 4 year starter in the Outback bowl again? Probably not – not Fulmer’s style (and he just finished a 5-6 season so he has other things to worry about) but it’d be funny.

He could, and should. We’re all in favor of coaches trash talking each other.

Coming from Backup College, aka “ND Waitlist”, all credibility is lost.

Have a great time in Boise – all 238 of you. That move to the acc was solid.

The only way to get people to link to your BC site: Talk about Notre Dame.

These Notre Dames fans seem to get a little insecure when reality bitch-slaps them across the face

Huge ND fan who didn’t go to either ND or BC, but attended the ND vs. BC game in ’02 when the Irish came in undefeated. Never met more annoying college football fans in my entire life than the students of these two schools. It was like a cat-fight between high school girls. A big, gay cat-fight.

BC seems to this outsider at least to take greater pleasure in beating ND then winning anything else. They could go 0-10 but if they beat ND all is good. However, I am not Catholic so really don’t get it. ND fans are hyper sensitive to criticism and BC fans define themself more by their hate for ND then support of their own team.

We were unaware of the women’s volleyball team loss, which is surprising, since we’re desperate men who like nothing better than watching fit, grunting young women jump up and down in hot pants all day. Congrats.

I’ve had the pleasure to cover college and high school volleyball quite a bit, and I have to say the sport is truly a gift from the Almighty to the struggling sportswriter. Tight-shorts-like-things, tight shirts, lots of jumping. Mmm. It’s pretty boring, otherwise, and my mind wanders. I spent one of my last high school games trying to figure out each gal’s stereotype in college (almost every player on the team was a senior). E.g., “that one’s going to drink lots of cheap beer and get laid after lots of parties,” “that one’s going to be a total hyper-sorority bitch,” “that one’s going to get dean’s list every damn semester,” etc. One time I counted “brickhouses” and “budunkadunks.” Considering these were country gals (including coaches), both were in heavy supply.

BC fans also define themselves by not showing up to games. For all their “Super-fan” talk, I think they sell-out about one home game per a year. Considering that their stadium seats less than 45,000 and they have an undergrad population of over 9,000, you have to wonder. Playing ND at home every other year meant that their players would be playing in front of at least one home sell-out.

BC really is like an annoying little brother to ND. They try really hard to be noticed and while they occasionally may win a game or get some attention of their own, everyone still knows who is number one.

Anyway, I still think that the diagram is pretty amusing. It even was linked at SI on Campus this afternoon. Goes to prove someone’s point…if you want people to link to a BC site, talk about ND.

Hack & Orson – I second that emotion (actually I guess I third it)

Volleyball girls rule. I worked in the athletic dept at WKU and not only were they smoking hot, they were all cool as hell. I have noticed since my time there that most volleyball girls have either a laid back surfer-type personality, or they are wild & crazy. Both of these are good things. Fox Sports out here shows tons of PAC10 women’s volleyball, and it is just beautiful. I need to get down to Palo Alto to see the Stanford team in the flesh (or close to it).

Orson – your boys drew Argentina, but the rest of the group is pretty soft so ‘Hup Holland’ should go through. The US team, not so lucky – they are in the “Group Of Death” with Italy, Czech Rep. & Ghana. Ouch.

Great news, Kanu. Since Sam’s Army is going to go down in flames, might as well switch our allegiances quickly to our ’98 settings and pull for the Orangemen.

I’m not a huge USA fan, but you never know. Hell, France were favorites in 02 and didn’t even score a goal.

You’re looking at:
Argentina
Holland
Cote D’Ivoire
Serbia & Montenegro

Fun day today: 350 million people watching a freaking draw, and both soccernet.com and fifa.com have been brought to their knees.

By the way, I’m having trouble getting the disturbing phrase “Patrick Kliuvert Man Crush” out of my head. Thanks alot.

Disagree with Kanu big time on the draw. I’d say it’s one of the 3 toughest (with the Italy/US and France’s – key being 3 decent/good teams) Holland’s draw might be worst of all. Don’t sleep on Serbia. Cote D’Ivoire has scorers who have top flight experience, like Drogba.

The English, on the other hand, can start buying tickets for the knockout round. Last place in E might go through if they were in B.

We might have to do our own World Cup blog—the mania will soon become overwhelming, fur will grow on our hands, and we’ll wake up in Munich in July covered in beer and not wearing pants. We can’t wait.

Agree with you LD that their group is not as easy as some others. As much footie as I watch I didn’t see any of S&M’s qualifying matches, so I am probably underappreciating their super impressive qualifying campaign. Cote D’Ivoire are tricky simply because Drogba could lose his mind and carry this team on his back, like when he lost his mind in the CL knockout stage in 04 and took Marseille all the way to the CL Final.

That being said, Holland are currently ranked 3rd in the world and should be able to take care of business. If they dropped the diving, cheating RVN then I might be able to pull for them. Van Persie is the real deal.

The conspiracy theorists will be out in full force since the champions Brasil & hosts Germany got pretty soft draws.

That Group D looks like the “Group Of Life”. They must be partying hard in Lisbon again today, just like on Wednesday when Benfica qualified at ManU’s expense.

Well said LD – I hope that you blog the shit out of WC06 next spring & summer.

Nice Orson – I hope that you blog the shite out of it as well.

And in April 06, when you get around to what music the teams should come out to, T&T should obviously come out to TNT by AC/DC.

—Germany comes out to Rammstein.

—France comes out to “I Will Survive.”

—The Czech Republic enters to Dvorak’s New World Symphony, final movement.

—Nigeria comes out to the craziest Fela Kuti song you can find.

—USA comes out to “B.O.B” by Outkast

—England comes out to “London Calling”

-Brazil enters to “Princessa Nega de Angola” by Bebeto.
(Listen /B00005K9T7/104-7489932-5209541?v=glance">here for the track on Amazon from the exceptional Samba Soul ’70 compilation.)

I say France comes out to “One More Time” by Daft Punk. Just seems more apropos. We might be looking at another sports/music comparison, although I think the possibility of being stumped by the Ivory Coast is enough to stop me. Unless we actually bring in the band that’s named The Ivory Coast.

Ian, they’re African, which means not only will they already have their own band, dancers, and theme song, but will have a custom dance. The dance, by the way, will be both simple and cooler than anything you can possibly think of ever.

Stop toying with me, Orson. My Super Eagles from Nigeria lost out on a tiebreaker to freaking Angola, so they will be home next summer golfing, or whatever the substitute for “home golfing” is in Nigeria. Maybe using one of those elastic 3 man slingshot thingys(Water Winger I think it’s called) to launch water balloons into exiled Liberian leader Charles Taylor’s compound, then runnning into the woods and giggling.

We went from talking about BC to talking about soccer? Did I accidentally stumble across hell here?
Well, since I’m here, France comes out to “Relax” by F.G.T.H.
USA comes out to “Don’t tread on me” by Metallica

You know, as a Notre Dame fan I have to say that the flow chart is funny, but far too blunt to do much damage. It’s essentially interchangable with several dozen other schools, and merely lobbing allegations of snobbery, whininess, and arrogance is like rain to a Londoner.

If you really want to poke and slice, you simply have to include more diagrams including the “blame the collars,” “blame the coordinators,” blame the 80%," and so on. You’ll also need a step including the awkward and uncalled for “anti-Catholic refs/coaches/writers/other-Catholics” and the ubiquitous “WTF loss” to some unexpected and yet not-surprising-in-retrospect football program (half the time this ends up being BC)

All in all, it’s good fun, and we ND fans ought to be bemused that we can engender such effort against us. Irrelevency, indeed.

I was expecting some good creative smack talkin’ here, but it devolved into a discussion of soccer. Damn. From irrelevant, to relevant to irrelevant again in just a few posts.

I’ll check back later.

Warning, doubledomer: threads have been known to wander.

Voluminous, the last time I checked, Florida was the only public ivy in all of the South.

And as a Vandy student, I’d just like to say Hah. We’ll see y’all next year if you haven’t all ended up in prison.

Back to women’s volleyball for a moment, Gators and Lady Vols are in final 8 of the NCAA tourney. LV had their 1st win ever over a top 2 team (Beat Penn State last night at Penn State). If both win this weekend (Gators play Nebraska and Lady Vols play Missouri) will be in Final 4 next week in San Antonio.

Just passing along info.

Here is a quick comparison.

Notre Dame Fan: After game against stands up and cheers for game well played by both teams. Fans could be louder during games but always respectful.

BC Fans – storm field after beating Notre Dame in ‘94 (because it was their biggest game ever), One fan proceed to spit into the face of large offensive lineman from ND who was walking off of the field after hard fought game, then yells into his face “you guys f-ing suck!” then RUNS away. The lineman lifted his arm to deck HER and was then tackled by teammates saying "she’s not worth it"

BC fans are worthless.

Sad but true…

“These Notre Dames fans seem to get a little insecure when reality bitch-slaps them across the face”

Will somebody please explain some reality that has bitch-slapped Notre Dame fans? It’s not like they were too big for their britches, upgraded conferences, and found out they were the red-headed stepchild who will be spending their holidays in Idaho.

INRE: #44

reality = diagram
insecurities = weak, childish responses from ND fans

Any more questions? I didn’t think so.

Correction: #46 is a response to #45.

OF COURSE we know this comes from a U BICH (Univ. of Boston in Chestnut Hill) fan. Their facts aren’t even right! As even the most casual ND fan knows, we NEVER babble on about the teams from the 50s as that was a decade akin to the Davieham era….Silly U BICH…once an Ed McMahon, always an Ed McMahon. Enjoy the Smurf Turf!!

ND fans bicker.
BC Fans bicker.

Meanwhile, Georgetown people sit around the fire, stoking the coals with their giant penises.

“The lineman lifted his arm to deck HER and was then tackled by teammates saying “she’s not worth it””

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, only a ND fan would brag about one of his team’s OLs trying to punch a female opposing fan like it’s a good thing. You guys are a joke. If you want to talk about getting too big for their britches, enjoy your 48-10 assraping at the hands of the Buckeyes. Your entire season is built on ONE game when you admittedly put up a great performance against USC, something that was also done later in the season by Fresno State shortly before they got smacked around by Louisiana Tech. You beat no-one this year. As for Boise, yeah it sucks but it’s a 1-year abberation as the ACC bowl tie-ins will be reworked for next year (MPC is moving behind Music City and Emerald in the pecking order). Besides, if either Miami or Virginia Tech had taken care of business in their last games we would’ve gone to the ACC Championship and then to either the Gator, Peach, or (with an upset) the Orange. ND is a joke and Weis will be coaching the Vikings next year.

Hey ND fans, put your money where your mouth is and win a damn bowl game. The ND program is a disgrace to collegiate athletics. Only ND could make its reputation off of “almost” winning a game. Most teams have an annual signature win. ND has a signature loss. What a sorry, pathetic excuse for a school. The NCAA should do the world a favor and bulldoze down the campus.

ND is gonna be rocked by a big bowl of cock!

Geez, I’m going to have to go to confession this week after reading these replies. As an ND grad, however, I’ll make sure that I don’t confess my sins to a Jesuit this week.

From the catholic dictionary..

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.

http://www.nd.edu/%7Escollera/Images/chart.jpg

I think the “No applicable data” belongs under “Lose to Notre Dame”. As for being ND rejects, I don’t know anyone at BC that got rejected from ND