SOLICH JOINS THE DENNIS ERICKSON MOTOR CLUB

by Orson on Nov 28, 2005 9:56 PM EST

Frank Solich, former Nebraska coach, is convicted of DUI following his arrest Saturday night. Officers say they found Solich passed out on the steering wheel of his car; he had difficulty rolling down the window or speaking clearly, but was smart enough to refuse a breathalyzer test. Solich pled mas rapidamente and will pay a fine and take a three-day driving course.

A few things:

--Solich is 61 years old, which means he wasn't just drunk...he was old man drunk, a bleary constellation available only to those over the age of 55 rife with pink elephants, miltary anecdotes, and teary incoherent stories about someone named Sadie who used to live in Kansas City.

--Solich looks more like Red Foreman than anyone we've ever seen.

--Solich learned the hard way that drunk driving in Ohio, a place with a few curvy roads, is much more difficult than tottering around the wide-open grids of Lincoln, Nebraska. We have to guess that whatever Solich's future may be, it won't be in Florida, where the large drunken driving population--Pinellas Park, we see you--often discovers local bodies of water up close and personal following a trip to Dave's Aqua Lounge and a missed turn or two. With that said, we would like to be the first to start the "Howard Schnellenberger driving an Eldo into a retaining pond" watch, and place the over/under at seven months from today.

Compare the two following the jump:

Red Foreman:

...and Frank Solich, Sunday driver.

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speaking of drinking beer in your vehicle, Musberger actually said this at some point this weekend…

“I plan on having a beer at [some place] that’ll be significantly cheaper than the one I had in Lincoln, Nebraska a few weeks back.”

It was hiiiiiilarious. I’m not a big Musberger fan, but he earned a lot of respect from me with that single sentence. It was close to the Best Sentence Ever.

by Brian on Nov 28, 2005 11:15 PM EST reply actions

I think I’ve stared at Solich and tried to figure out who he looks like MANY times, and you just nailed it. It’s a nice try, Frank, but fighting the driver’s side window doesn’t hold a candle to Huggins’ alphabet prowess.

Solich may turn the Bobcats around eventually, let’s just hope it’s not the wrong way down a one-way street when he does.

by tony on Nov 29, 2005 1:16 AM EST reply actions

Didn’t disgraced former Michigan coach Gary Moeller set the bar for a coach being wasted? Oh, yeah. That was Mike Price palling around with Joe Namath’s female clone.

It’s rollin’ baby!

by Newspaper Hack on Nov 29, 2005 10:22 AM EST reply actions

Wow.

CBB not CFB, but these are all amateurs compared to Larry Eustachy. Dude wins the “Drunken College Coach-Off” going away. It would be one thing to get liquored up and go to random frat parties with students 25 years your junior on your own school’s campus, but to do it on road trips, where you get all liquored up and roam around looking for a party in enemy territory is simply unbeatable.

by Kanu on Nov 29, 2005 11:57 AM EST reply actions

“It was hiiiiiilarious. Im not a big Musberger fan, but he earned a lot of respect from me with that single sentence. It was close to the Best Sentence Ever.”

I thought that was real funny.

I agree with the comparison of Frank Solich and Red Foreman

by eddie on Nov 29, 2005 1:37 PM EST reply actions

Man, I’d get liquored up too if I got to thinking about going 9-3 and getting fired. Then to top it off, the guy that comes in to replace you is BILL FREAKIN’ CALLAHAN.

It’s been two years since that all happened…my question is, what took him so long to break like this? Was it the reality of having to live in Ohio?

by Doreblogger on Nov 30, 2005 1:45 AM EST reply actions

Solich learned the hard way that drunk driving in Ohio, a place with a few curvy roads, is much more difficult than tottering around the wide-open grids of Lincoln, Nebraska.

It was the dreaded one-way streets of Athens, not the curvy roads that got him. Uptown Athens is filled with nothing but.

by J on Nov 30, 2005 2:09 AM EST reply actions