THIS KICKS ASS

by Orson on Nov 11, 2005 3:01 PM EST

Notre Dame and Navy are gonna throw down bareknuckle style in Dublin in 2012. We love the sporadically scheduled Notre Dame/Navy game in Dublin, Ireland for a number of reasons:

1. The "back to the motherland" theme could spur future spin-offs such as Hawaii/Cal in Hong Kong, NYU/Brandeis in Jerusalem, and Utah/BYU in Nairobi.

2. Crazed Irish fans crossing the Atlantic will delight locals by drunkely wandering the street of Dublin during business hours and telling everyone in earshot, "Hey, it's cool, I'm Irish!" while peeing in alleys and wearing shirts with leprechauns on them.

3. Game will provide convenient cover for President Schwarzanegger's plan to "make Ireland safe for freedom." Navy SEALs dressed as band members take over seat of power during halftime. Rebellion lasts until 5:30 p.m., at which point everyone ducks into the nearest pub for a pint, a wee one, and a good long cry.

4. Navy fans will exact revenge for their lopsided loss to Notre Dame by planting birth control pills and floss in the baggage of Notre Dame fans, items that will get them detained and beaten by customs officials at Dublin International Airport.

5. Weis will etch his name in the annals of Irish history by becoming only the second person to finish an entire Irish breakfast without foundering and expiring in horrific fashion shortly thereafter. By doing this and drinking an eight gallon tankard of black pudding on top of the meal, Weis will join the only other person to complete the nearly impossible feat, pop singer Pink.

Black pudding fan Pink has her place in Irish history.

6. Abundant alcohol...overlapping female Catholic populations between the ages of 18 and 23...a corps of fit, muscular, sexually frustrated servicemen...the temporary amnesia associated with being a great distance from home...it all adds up to a spectacular "Girls Night Out" for the assembled ladies of Dublin, and a collective nightmare for their boyfriends worldwide.

Don't ask her about Dublin, ND fans, and she won't ask you about that week in Bangkok. And to all the servicemen who read this blog--all three of you--thank you. Here's hoping you get all the ass you want--Happy Veterans' Day.

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Comments

Another effort straight out of the top drawer, Swindle.

Arnold took a pretty big hit from we the people of “Kall-eee-four-nee-ah” on Tuesday. Like a Junior Rosegreen hit. At this point, it may be that the only man alive that could get him to the White House is one Karl Rove, but we shall see.

Let’s hope that Rangers-Celtic don’t play that very weekend, because if all the Catholics hop on a ferry and take in that match, then look out when they get back. Let’s just say that Dook basketball fans will no longer be universally hailed as the most “passionnate” fans in the land.

by Kanu on Nov 11, 2005 3:29 PM EST reply actions

Nice work, as always. Regarding #6 – you clearly don’t know the story of the ND cheerleader antics during the last ND trip to Eire for a game against Navy. I’d be more specific, but I think this is a family board. If you want to know the details get the transcript of the Joe Moore trial against ND.

by Gipper on Nov 11, 2005 3:58 PM EST reply actions

Arnold’s not going to be president. The GOP doesn’t trust his cred enough to move all the machinery it would take to get an amendment to the Constitution passed. Why should they risk it just for him…and then both parties can run around trying to get whatever ringers they want?

by mayday on Nov 11, 2005 4:10 PM EST reply actions

Aye, Mayday, aye. But if all 4 of his props passed with flying colors on Tuesday, and he won re-election in ‘06, then it very well may have happened anyways(the R’s “moving all the machinery” and making a go of it, that is).

But wouldn’t it be funny if they went through with it and changed all the rules just to push a known drug user and womanizer as hard as they could to the top, while still maintaining that Bill Clinton was/is the Anti-Christ?

by Kanu on Nov 11, 2005 4:18 PM EST reply actions

Hysterical!

I went to Croak Park the first time we played there.
Awesome fun!

I would encourage all college football fans to go. The people were incredibly friendly and the atmosphere was phenominal and the country sure is beautiful.

The only dissapointing thing about the entire trip is that I’ve never seen young attractive girls drink so much and not get drunk enough for me to take advantage of them!

by Davy in the Navy on Nov 11, 2005 4:50 PM EST reply actions

known drug user and womanizer

See: George W. Bush, The College Years.

by Newspaper Hack on Nov 11, 2005 4:51 PM EST reply actions

More than three servicemen read your website. Great article.

I’m an ND grad who’s been on Navy active duty for 17 years.

John ND Class of 88
Commander, USN
Agat, Guam, USA

by John88 on Nov 11, 2005 5:12 PM EST reply actions

“known drug user and womanizer”

See: Man – The College Years.

by Scott on Nov 11, 2005 6:10 PM EST reply actions

Best comment all week, Scott.

by Kanu on Nov 11, 2005 6:28 PM EST reply actions

Dangit, I keep pushing for them to play in Japan…

Nate ND Class of ’98
Captain, US Army
Camp Zama, Japan

(and military reader #2 of 3)

by Nate on Nov 12, 2005 7:31 AM EST reply actions

I think we can agree that Arnold’s behavior goes well past whatever slack we would all cut each other for “college hijinks.” He’s a freak on a lifelong power trip.

by mayday on Nov 13, 2005 1:03 AM EST reply actions