Special mention this week goes to John Bunting, who in addition to wearing a robust walrus-’stache, also gets the award for motivational tactics for players: in a preseason trip, Bunting took the team to Central Prison to remind players what happens to people who shirk their responsibilities in life. Think about that next time you want to leave dirty dishes in the sink–it might be the first step in a long chain that ends with you on your knees for Rollo the Mad-Dog Rapist.

He is the eggman. We are the eggmen. He is John Bunting, and he wants a mustache this big.