Gassed up on caffeine and 4 bucks worth of Subway’s finest, a few more suggestions for intro music that hasn’t happened yet, but should:

Navy “In the Navy,” by the Village People. The only thing all-male groups like more than an opportunity to prove how un-gay they are–like, say, swimming four miles with a knife in your teeth in a speedo made of C4 during your training as a Navy SEAL or something like that–is an opportunity to act totally gay without consequence. The breakdown of “We want you! We want you! We want you as a new recruit!” would be side-splitting.

Mustaches galore on these guys.

UCF. We could go punny, like Kool and the Gang’s “Boogie Nights,” but we’d rather go regional-slapdown correct and suggest “Backstreet’s Back” by Orlando locals The Backstreet Boys. The best part is that EV-RAH-BAHHDAY in the stands would be rocking out to it like it was “Back in Black.” All right!

Fresno State. The SoCal environment…heavy handlebar mustache on the coach…a bad attitude…Pat Hill needs Def Leppard’s “Rock of Ages.” Unter gleeben globben globen…

Oklahoma. The bare expanse of Oklahoma plains calls for something spare…desperate…brutal…how about “Angel of Death” by Slayer? Fast death-metal start followed by classic screechy “YEEEEEEEyeaaaaggghhh.” Two fans might die every game from amped up, noodlin’ rednecks snapping their necks off headbanging in time with the nanosecond beats of the song.

Illinois. “Getting Better” by the Beatles. Getting so much better all the time…

Vandy. “West End Girls” by The Pet Shop Boys.

Ole Miss. “Slam” by Onyx. Only valid during Orgeron era. The Orgeron himself would run into the stands like a bull gone awry in Pamplona, slam dancing fans into blissful concussions before leaping into subspace, grabbing a satellite, and bringing it down on the opposing team’s water boy.