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Around SBN: Tim Wakefield Retires

COACH FRAN: BLOGGER AND HEDLEY LAMARR LOOK-ALIKE

Warren's got the goods on the "trapped in a well" monologue that has been the CoachFran.com weblog maintained by "Dennis Franchione." Our favorite quote in his circumlocution around Excuseland:

And from an ancient Asian religion there is a saying, "Wise people seek solutions. Others only cast blame."

We'd pair that in Franchione's case with another Chinese saying: "When a man rises to power, even his cats and dogs ascend with him." At this point, doesn't Coach Fran look like the dog who took a two-year ride on Ladanian Tomlinson's coattails to a fat paycheck or three?

Coach Fran: where'd his froggy go? Froggy!

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As far as Coach Fraudbaloney is concerned, “Ain’t karma a bitch”.

by Taxman on Nov 7, 2005 1:08 PM EST reply actions  

Here’s a fun little game. Look at my name and guess what my position is with respect to Texas A&M’s head coach….

by Bamaleg on Nov 7, 2005 2:52 PM EST reply actions  

Love. Sheer unadulterated love.

by Orson Swindle on Nov 7, 2005 4:18 PM EST reply actions  

Orson,

Sadly, I must report you do not make it to the bonus round… If you had just left out the “unadulterated” part….and the “sheer” part….oh yeah, and the “love” part, the judges may have decided differently.

Sounds like he has just about worn out his welcome in Aggie land. I, for one, am glad he let go of the rope.

by Bamaleg on Nov 7, 2005 5:24 PM EST reply actions  

He’s gotten quite fat, too, which baffles me given how fat someone can get living off the Alabamian diet. They must be injecting him with straight cattle hormones in hopes of rebooting his ability to call plays.

by Orson Swindle on Nov 7, 2005 5:28 PM EST reply actions  

We do love our Bar-B-Q…and grits…and steak…and whatever else Mama puts on the table. When we have a road game is the worst cause we start eating when the JP game comes on and don’t quit till the Pac Ten is finished. We actually eat less for home games.

I hope our crowd can recreate the noise from the Florida game Saturday. That was, in my experience, a unique moment in Bryant-Denny history. I suspect the Gator faithful will return the favor next year.

by Bamaleg on Nov 7, 2005 6:03 PM EST reply actions  

You people are so ignorant and helplessly immature. Let’s see. Injuries to 7 to 10 players will hurt any team but the New England Patriots. Players messing up off the field and getting kicked out will hurt. And the fact that former Coach Slocum runs a totally different team style than Coach Fran means that you HAVE to give Coach Fran time to get the players he wants. Geez, he has had TWO top ten recruiting years. Let them become juniors or seniors(when they mature) and become the leaders of Coach Fran’s team. If they are still stuck where they are then its time to go. But don’t ask for his head just yet.

by Landon on Nov 7, 2005 8:29 PM EST reply actions  

Guilty as charged, Landon. Yet we still think Fran is overrated and a bit of a charlatan, and there’s plenty of people out there who know way more than we do who don’t make penis jokes who say the same thing.

That said, we hope he succeeds because A&M has way too many badass traditions for us to hate on the program.

Thank you for your service to our country.

by Orson Swindle on Nov 7, 2005 10:25 PM EST reply actions  

Landon,

It was our understanding Slocum did not leave an empty locker room. It was our understanding Fran characterized his quarterback as a heisman candidate during hype season. It was our undestanding this is Fran’s third year so unless my math is wrong, some of “his” players should be leading the team. This is also Mike Shula’s third year – worst case scenerio is Bama goes 9-2, even though the scholarship limitations have not washed out yet. What’s Fran’s best case scenerio? We continue to hold A&M in the same regard we always have. Having read the most recent “Friday with Fran” and the response from the Aggie faithful, I would respectfully submit those who continue to have a warm and fuzzy feeling for Fran are in a distinct minority. With the benefit of three years of hindsight, we offer our sincerest gratitude for A&M taking Fran off our hands.

With kindest regards, I am

Childishly yours,

Bamaleg

by Bamaleg on Nov 8, 2005 10:13 AM EST reply actions  

The A&M football program is in shambles. What the hell are we paying for? As I see it, we’re not going to get anywhere with Mack Brown doing all that killer recruiting. Also, as a minority on the campus, I can understand why a minority athlete would not want to make College Station his home for 4-5 years. The racial tension & prejudice is horrible everywhere. Not just on campus, but in the metroploitan areas as well. I can’t wait until I get my engineering degree & am able to leave the hell hole that is A&M. Until then I will continue to study hard & cheer for the Aggie athletic teams. In the mean time, I will continue to deliver the Chinese fast food you rednecks crave. I always swirl my schlong in your hot ‘n’ sour soup & I always spit in your Kung Po chicken. Eat it up, MotherTruckers!

by dong ting on Nov 8, 2005 4:08 PM EST reply actions  

That’s the funniest comment we’ve had in a very long time—but watch the penis in the hot soup! Scalding kills precious nerves. Jia you, pengyou!

by Orson Swindle on Nov 8, 2005 4:14 PM EST reply actions  

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