This guy is all that is man.

Kill a deer with your bare hands, and you’re manlier than Lee Marvin.

We write a post on race at an opportune time, right? On the day we publish the “All-Race Team,” MGoBlog exercises the nuclear option on him following his Tubby-come-lately column about the 4 million year contract extension given to Charlie Weis. Whitlock’s take? Notre Dame is racist for doing this for the 5-2 Weis, while 8-0 Ty Willingham got nothing close to this kind of love from the admin.

Whitlock does himself no favors by Uncle Tomming a black Notre Dame fan in an emailed response. This earns a second shot from Brian and a wave of fury from ND fans who hijacked Whitlock’s ESPN chat this afternoon.

More to follow…

Update! Well, not really. But it is a racially charged story: someone called an Indiana high school player “Nigga” in a game! Because he’s black? No, because that’s his fucking name. (Via Sports By Brooks)

With the race card getting tossed around a lot in the blogosphere lately, we thought that maybe EDSBS could get a whole lotta healing going around here by typing something we’ve wanted to do for a while: the EDSBS All-Race Team. If Afro-Americans really are the fastest people on earth, doesn’t every race have something special to contribute to the glorious game that is college football?

Of course they do. Each race is matched with their stereotypical perfect match below.

Chinese: Offensive Coordinator. Devious, shifty, and possessed of a beatific Taoist calm in the midst of the most high-pressure game time situations, the Chinese offensive coordinator speaks in circles when asked about his strategies. “There is no system,” “we flow where the defense isn’t,” and “only by running may one open up the pass, but the opposite may be true as well depending on the situation.” Booth cam often catches the Chinese OC peering over astrological charts and lighting unfiltered cigarettes end off end, calling a bewildering array of deceptively simple plays while calling in stock tips to his brother in Taipei and feeding the parakeet on his shoulder sunflower seeds. Fights off competitors and athletic directors with a mix of baffling negotiation tactics and unstoppable Mantis-style fighting technique. Known to fly effortlessly down from booth to sideline during timeouts.

Your new OC’s fighting style is unstoppable.

Jews: kicker. Sure, he’s just a kicker–and an aspiring lawyer with a hell of an internship, a beastly LSAT score, and a superb credit rating. And a mensch on top of it all. No job on a football team fits God’s Chosen People more than kicker: highly specialized, much maligned, one figure set against a wave of opposition eking out victory at the margins. (more…)

In honor of dressing up at Halloween and the fact that Bobby Valentine just won the Japanese equivalent of the World Series and that he is in the running for the Devil Ray job, we stretch beyond the world of college football for today’s mustache of the day.

Nobody could possibly recognize Valentine in that mustache disguise.

The quarterback carousel continues in Knoxville. Not surprisingly, Ainge has been named the starter for Tennessee’s matchup this Saturday in South Bend.

Check out the House to Rock Built for his mustache of the year nomination.

Despite some close calls, Georgia was the only high profile casualty of the week.

Vince Young took over that game, perserved his Heisman campaign, and kept Texas atop the EDSBS ballot for at least one more week.

1. Texas. As we’ve said for weeks, not much difference in our minds between the top three so their order at this point is almost arbitrary. So, we keep Texas in that spot and we’ll pretend we didn’t see the first quarter. (After all, we kept USC in the top spot through several similar performances.)

2. USC. How many yards of total offense did they have? No really, how many?

3. Virginia Tech. BC provided enough competition to see that Virginia Tech is not flashy but really good. If they win this week, they could jump up a bit.

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