AUBURN: THE MOST QUOTABLE TEAM IN THE NATION

I’d make an Auburn joke here, but……

…you don’t have to! Seriously, these guys are awesome. We can’t stop laughing about the phrase “stuck all up in his pads.”

Uh, yeah, I hate when frogs are sitting on my doorstep, too.

And the time I came home and found a couple cows playing bocce in the backyard, I was totally freaked out.

Must be a southern thing.

tony, you’d be surprised at just how often that happens down on the plains.

Cows playing bocce, Todd? Acid in the water in Birmingham?

The Athens Georgia PetSmart has placed three different orders for more frogs in the past 2 hours.

350 were purchased and are planning on being let go on the Auburn sideline midway through the first quarter.

Are you kidding me?? Do you guys have anything better to do than to take quotes made by football players who are being asked jokingly to really mean anything other than playing around.. I mean come on, the players were being asked dumb questions, so what do you expect a dissertation on why the earth’s axis has changed in the past 60 years?? Get a life!

Auburn should be investigated by the NCAA – there is now way that these guys should be in college – someone is obviously doing their school work for them.

Do you guys have anything better to do than to take quotes made by football players who are being asked jokingly to really mean anything other than playing around(?)

Nope, not really.

Seriously, you guys ask some football players the kinds of questions that leave them pondering whether you are Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. You’re gonna get stupid answers to fenoike questions. The Irons bros do bust on each other a lot though.

That’s the best part—the Irons brothers could do a comedy act. Nice use of the work “fenoike”, Death Lobster.

In the Dye days Auburn used to GRADUATE players who turned out to be functionally illiterate. Looks like nothing much has changed down on the farm.

I think little Kenny is going to have some trouble staying eligible.

“there is now way that these guys should be in college”

Priceless…

THE university of alabama sucks ass. everyone knows that big companies tend to pick auburn grads over bama because auburn has the smarter people. why do you think you have to be a stupid ass to get into bama and actually have some brain cells to get into auburn…i think its cause the people who work in admissions up in “t-town” know that their students get their kicks from snorting the cocaine all the time so they dont have any brain cells.

and by the way…dont get too excited over yalls 8-0 season….the only reason yall are undefeated is because yall happen to get lucky in the last few seconds of yalls games

John, thank you for your kind words regarding my alma mater, Alabama. In the few clear moments that I’m not snorting uncut Charlie off the neck of a Tuscaloosa debutante, I scan the Internet for quotes from Kenny Irons.

Enjoy:

Q: What is your favorite Auburn tradition and why?
A: “The rolling of Toomer’s corner because I had never experienced something so amazing in my life. When I came to Auburn I saw all of these people huddled around this tree and I was like, ‘What is this?’ You have all of these people and they have all of this toilet paper. They have soft toilet paper and every kind of toilet paper and they are all throwing it at a tree. I was like ‘Why are they throwing all of this toilet paper at a tree?,’ and they told me that they were rolling Toomer’s corner. I asked who is going to clean all of this mess up and they told me that the wind would blow it all away or the rain would wash it down. They said sometimes they have people come clean it up and I said that I wouldn’t want to have to clean up all of this toilet paper.”

Q: What is your best talent outside of football?
A: “Drawing. I like to draw, if you consider that a talent. I like to disguise myself as other people, too. I call that a talent. I like telling people that I am somebody else. I tell people that I play water polo and if they ask me what position I play I tell them right water . I don’t even know if that is a position but I tell them that I play right water .”

Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
A: “In ten years from now I see myself being on the beach just lounging. I just want to lounge around in a nice beach house and I will have a four-wheeler on the beach so I can drive around. I just want to be able to hang around and have fun. I also see my traveling around the world. I want to go to little islands that are just out there somewhere far and I would also like to go to Europe. I’ve never been to Europe or Paris. I want to go somewhere like Fiji or Tahiti.”

that’s ok. bammers are afraid of the endzone

I think it’s only fair that Au football players get their chance to repudiate the reputation they developed of illiteracy – James Brooks ring any cowbells? – they developed during past regimes. Certainly, they play good football judging by a sparkling record over the last few years. But, if the movie Idiocracy is an accurate forecast of the future, Stanley McClover could run for president eventually. And the Irons brothers – well, move over Wayans Brothers! Or maybe Dumn and Dumner could feature their antics at the theaters, in a genre-defining movie.
I don’t know about being afraid of the endzone, but I was pretty frightened of the Predator, who DOES bear a striking resistance to Stanley McClover – and neither of them looks human to me! As I recall, the Predator was all stuck up in hispads too.