PUH-SPECTIVE, AS LIONEL OSBURNE WOULD SAY
An incoherent game plan. A disappointing record. Sound familiar, USC fans? It should, according to this TBO.com article comparing Pete Carroll’s first year with Urban Meyer’s.
October 19, 2005
NEW VERBIAGE ALERT!
The fertile, still-untilled soil of online college football commentary has already made a few grand contributions to the English language this year. Examples:
1. QEDMF. Quod erat demonstrandum, motherfucker. Used to conclude an argument that is beyond rational refutation.
2. Hennebriated.
3. Prothrolled.
4. Talifan.
5. Flaggotry. The inane practice of claiming a rival’s field with your flag, a practice now being taken verrrry seriously by both the Big Ten and SEC.
We’d like to go ahead and attempt to introduce the latest phrase you’ll hear peppered about the airwaves over the following months/years/decades:
5. BOOM, HEADSHOT! Coined by FPS Doug of Pure Pwnage in reference to his many Counter Strike 2 assault rifle kills, often by shots to the head. Click here to view Doug in action before the world discovers him, adores him, and ruins him with the sweet, fattening adoration of millions. Phrase is applicable to hits like the one Matt Ryan of Boston College took earlier this year, or more archetypically, to our favorite hit ever, seen below. Slang.
BOOM, HEADSHOT! Unfortunately, Chris Leak is paying off Wright’s karmic debt for that hit this year.
BLOGPOLL 10: PRAYING FOR A LOSS
This week’s blogpoll discussion questions are up, this time hosted by the delightfully biased cowpokes at All Things Longhorn.
Howdy, cowpoke. This week’s Blogpoll questions are brought to you by All Things Longhorn, the Sam Elliott of the blogosphere.
1. What would it take for you to vote someone other than USC #1 in the poll? If you already are, what would it take for USC to regain the top spot on your ballot?
Aside from a SoCal macrobiotic vegan pineapple upside down cake delivered personally by Pete Carroll? Sheer, Mongol Empire-scale destruction for the rest of the season from USC would help, but at this point in the season a Texas/USC matchup in the Rose Bowl has a certain geological inevitability to it, doesn’t it?
USC’s gonna have to beat some ass Mongol-style to make their number one ranking stick.
The real issue here is how little the number one ranking really matters anymore. Given the current configuration of the BCS, there are really two number ones going into the game: the teams occupying the top two slots. The system is predicated on getting those two slots right and leaving the rest for glitzy bowl slots in high-profile venues. So even if we put Texas first–which, given our “minute-by-minute” style of rankings, we just may do–it would take a dismal performance by Texas or USC to drop from the dual number one spots.
Of course, we’re praying for a slew of one-loss teams and a complete implosion of the BCS system resulting in a Texas Tech/Auburn national championship that sends network executives flying for their office windows and puts the men in funny-colored coats on the hot seat. We’re also still waiting for the sequel to Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins, so don’t hold your breath.
2. Which of the undefeateds is most likely to remain so? Who is least likely?
The team most likely to remain undefeated is Texas, whose fluffy-yummy-cupcakey schedule will have them rolling into the national title game sans loss. That and Vince Young is playing so well he even looks bigger this season.
Accordingly, the team that will NOT remain undefeated is Texas Tech, who will lose at least one game to Texas under our forecast.
3. If you were running the BCS system, would you let the computer rankings factor in margin of victory? Why or why not?
No, because we would instantly scrap the system and go to a playoff. That’s not the answer anyone wants here, but it’s the one you’re getting because the BCS is shit shit shit and we’re riding that pony ’til it dies beneath our saddle.
PROTRHO RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL
After two weeks in the hospital following surgery to repair his gruesome leg fracture, Tyrone Prothro is going home. Even though you kicked our teams ass, we wish you a speedy and full recovery.
MUSTACHE OF THE DAY
A Good Man. A Solid Coach. But this week showed that Notre Dame was right in going with Weis.
THIS WEEK’S BLOG POLL BALLOT
As we have previously discussed here, with the BCS there really is no significance to being number 1 versus number 2. The only problem we currently have is that their are 3 teams who have at times looked like they should be number 1 this season. That said, we have a new number 1 atop our poll.
While this controversial play isn’t enough to treat USC as if they lost the game, it is enough to be the difference between top tier unbeatens.
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