DOC PEDRO’S ASS AND TITTIES UPSET SPECIAL PICKORAMA
Given our resident degenerate gambler, Solon’s, cold streak, a blast from ESBS’s very early days has returned to try his hand at a few picks… complete with his upset special. Doc Pedro is attempting to show us that if Med School doesn’t work out, he can have a future in handicapping.
Doc Pedro comes off South Beach for a moment to share his picks of the week.
So you ask why are we calling it the Ass and titties upset special of the week? Well, what happens to your body when your team wins a big game? Admit it you feel like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever and everyone is smiling at you like they know your name. Now imagine you are an actual player on the team immersed in glories of a college campus (which are, of course, asses and titties).
Last week, Travolta had nothing on the boys from Tuscaloosa.
Last week in Alabama players were able to experience this in the “Land of Milk and Honey,” that is Tuscaloosa. Even O-lineman and D-lineman had the chance to feel what it is like to be a world class poon-hound such as Alabama’s own Joe Willy Namath or Ohio State’s Kirk Herbstreit or current USC player Matt Leinart. Imagine how Brodie Croyle was doing. That’s what happens when you pull off the weeks best upset.
Just a sample of the types of spoils available following a huge upset win at home.
Our one rule for picking this triumphant underdog is that they must be the home team. If you win on the road your fans have a good time, but there is nothing like the electricity created when you win a big one at home. That brings us to this weeks contenders and there are several who are going to get it done:
LSU (2-1) AT VANDERBILT (4-1): This game had me thinking voluptuous thoughts about the ivy league of the south but when it is all said and done LSU 42-23. No ass nor titties for the ‘Dores
GEORGIA (4-0) AT TENNESSEE (3-1): Rick Clausen has been beaten like a pickle this season and the Dawgs on the road are an impressive 16-2 under Mark Richt. But when it is all said and done they will be singing in Knoxville…“Once I had a girl on Rocky Top….Rocky Top Tennessee, 24-16.
TEXAS TECH (4-0) AT NEBRASKA (4-0): There will be a lot scoring in this one and the Red Raiders will put a heck of a fight but when it is all said and done there will be more corn husking going on. Nebraska, 38-35 in OT. There will be much shucking in Lincoln.
Perhaps a big win is all Nebraska needs for the girls to go wild.
OHIO STATE (3-1) AT PENN STATE (5-0): Joe Pa’s Freshman have the juices flowing in Happy Valley, but while the freshman have been getting the scoring up it won’t be enough. Ohio State, 27-10
CALIFORNIA (5-0) AT UCLA (4-0): The chase for Bush and Leinart continues. Neither team however is quite ready to achieve Platinum status. When it’s all said and done. Cal, 45-30
Love to hear your take and which city you would like to be in for an upset this weekend.
Doc Pedro.
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1
The Conscience of a Nation says:
Girls go wild all the time. Yawn.
I want to be at the upset where guys go wild and treat us ladies to some swinging willies. THAT would be a good game.
October 7th, 2005 at 4:38 pm
2
Kanu says:
Nice article DP. Tricky thing is that both UT and UCLA are favorites, so technically they can’t be called upsets. They are both flying in the face of conventional wisdom a bit, though, so rock on.
Sorry to finally let the inner homer out, but The Dawgs are going to beat that ass tomorrow. History says that Richt’s UGA teams sleepwalk against lesser competition (yet still win), but also that they tend to be up for big games. Two big recent losses (Auburn 04, LSU SECC 03) were more of running into buzzsaws rather than not being up for it or clutch or what-have-you, but this year’s UT teams certainly does not look like a buzzsaw. Having said that, there is still the chance for a mistake-laced, multiple opportunity piss away tough loss special (UF 02 comes to mind), but I’m going with Richt to once again get his team to deliver in a big road game (2 weeks to prepare helps too).
Tennessee 16-26 Georgia.
And I would love to be in Knox Vegas this weekend if Georgia were to win, simply to bask in the glory in front of the 110,000 Vols, which would somewhat make up for the horrible UGA losses I witnessed first hand in Neyland in 1993, 1995, and 1997.
October 7th, 2005 at 4:41 pm
3
Orson Swindle says:
DP–as in Donkey Punch, bro–you’ve been sneaking meds from the pharm lab, and not the good ones, if you think Nebraska can score 35 on anyone. They scored 7 on Pitt. PITTTT!!! Madness. Tech scores a zillion.
October 7th, 2005 at 4:50 pm
4
Stranko Montana says:
I challenged him to be bold… and that my friend is bold. I’m sure there would be ass and titties aplenty if they pull it off.
October 7th, 2005 at 4:57 pm
5
thehakujin says:
Thanks to what happened last year, would a UF win over MissState count as an “upset” this weekend, would it? If so, I’ve got a trip to Gainesville coming up….
October 7th, 2005 at 5:40 pm
6
Doc P says:
If the Zooker were still the coach it would.
October 7th, 2005 at 6:17 pm
7
Newspaper Hack says:
THAT’s why after five months in the workforce, I’m applying to grad school in Tuscaloosa. Three more years of A&T (T&A?) and an advanced degree is so worth $100K.
October 7th, 2005 at 7:12 pm
8
Dawgy1 says:
I believe that I would be able to swap those hats.
October 10th, 2005 at 10:30 am
9
Stranko Montana says:
You must have a very small face then.
October 10th, 2005 at 12:10 pm
10
Dawgy1 says:
Yeah but, it’s a good trade-off.
October 10th, 2005 at 12:58 pm