Boi From Troy opens the doors to his fabulously gay kingdom this week and lets the shlumpy, largely hetero college football blogging crowd put our Chucks on the sofa and talk a little pigskin in his edition of the Blogpoll Roundtable. (My, that’s a long sentence, even by our standards. Reminder to buy some verbal Immodium stat.)

Boi, we’re ready to make the pitch for “Queer Eye for the Football Guy” when you are.

This week’s not-at-all burning, “No, doctor, I don’t think those require antibiotics, yeah, I took a recent trip to Jakarta so?” questions:

1. Assuming that USC, Texas, Alabama and Virginia Tech all go undefeated at the end of the season, who deserves to play in the Rose Bowl for the BCS Title?

Whoa. Whoa….whoa. Fuck-ing-whoa. Hugeass assumption here to say that all four will go undefeated. You had two last year, but that was unusual to say the least. Going undefeated is exceedingly rare, especially back-to-back undefeated seasons in USC’s case. The odds get worse the longer you stretch the streak, too–not a huge statistical revelation, but just a reminder that Bud Wilkinson’s Sooners’ stretch of 47 straight victories isn’t likely to fall in an age of reduced scholarships and emerging parity.

In the spirit of the question, though…USC’s a gimme, and will be there until they lose. They haven’t lost in nearly two years. QEDMF.

We can’t see any way to admit Texas because of the weakness of the Big 12 this year. (Out of conference: Aggies lose to Clemson, OU loses to TCU, New Mexico State beats Missouri, OU (again!) loses to UCLA. True, the ‘Horns did beat Ohio State OOC, but they’ll be dragged down by the rest of the Big 12.

Alabama will regret putting that Utah State game on the calendar, since a big win over Florida will fade in the light of two potential low-scoring slugfests with Tennessee and LSU. Numbers equal bids, and the sturdy glow of a 17-14 win will forever be outshined by the luster of a 52-17 blowout. Voters are size queens and it will show in the end.

This leaves Virginia Tech, the most likely candidate since they’re scoring in all three phases of the game. Toss in the general distaste for Mack Brown, the less-than-flashy Alabama offense (it was good enough on Saturday, beating potential commentors to the punch,) and the words “Vick,” and you’ve got your candidate. Hokies vs. Trojans in a rematch of last year’s season opener.

2. With most of the teams in conference play, which games have the greatest implication in defining the broader BCS picture (at larges, etc.) this year?

Nothing creative here:

Alabama-Auburn: The Iron Bowl is not only a regional cataclysm this year.

Miami-Virginia Tech: Get your Jack on for an increasingly intense rivalry game.

USC-Cal: Perhaps the Asian Student Union at Berkeley could accentuate the homefield advantage by tossing some of those five-pound mailbox-popping Chinese New Year firecrackers on the Trojan sidelines. An epic game in the making.

About that size will do.

3. In addition to the BCS Title, the Associated Press, FWAA and several other groups award National Championship Trophies. What award should be given to the winner of the final College Football Blogpoll?

The Golden Laptop Trophy, of course.

Bonus Football Question: Since I am going to be in London this weekend and the only “football” I will see will be the World Cup Qualifying…are there any Germany 2006 Qualifying games you’d watch if it weren’t College Football season?!?

Scotland at Belarus, if only to see if we could keep up with the beer inhalation Scottish fans are known and loved for. Fried Snickers Bars for everyone!

Keep up if you dare.