Thin-skinned Matt Hayes goes light on the Lithium today and takes it out on this guy for no good goddamned reason. We know Hayes has a weird, Andy Kaufman-esque relationship with his audience, but this is just being a dick–and we don’t even like Seminole fans. We’ve sent him (the letter writer) an email to see what the hell was up with this.

Dick.

Continued! Martin Carey, the aforementioned emailer who Hayes went ballistic on, writes back with his response.–ed.

Sure. To be fair, here are Matt’s opinions and my replies:

First, “The One and Only” controversy:

Matt: “ACC — The one and only: Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech. Even when
Tech struggled from 2001 to ‘03, Beamer never panicked and stayed true
to his philosophy and the team’s identity. He weeded out a few
malcontents, and the team resurfaced last year with an ACC
championship. It’s a simple formula: Defense, special teams and momentum win games.”

My reply: “Let’s see. Frank Beamer is only 6 conference championships
(including the Big Least), 2 national championships and 174 wins behind
Bobby Bowden, and Beamer’s “the One and Only” in the ACC. Nothing more
needs to be said.”

Second, “The Welcome” controversy:

Matt: “On the day Urban Meyer’s new team got a nice, friendly welcome
to
the Big Boys Club…”

My reply: “In a previous column, you anointed Frank Beamer as “the one
and only” in the ACC. I noted, “Frank Beamer is only 6 conference
championships (including the Big Least), 2 national championships and
174 wins behind Bobby Bowden.” Now, you write, “…Urban Meyer’s new
team got a nice, friendly welcome to the Big Boys Club….” Mr.
Meyer’s
new team is the Florida Gators: 6 SEC championships and 1 National
championship. Either you meant that Urban Meyer himself got a nice
friendly welcome to the Big Boys Club, in which case I wonder why
Sporting News pays you for your writing ability; or you meant exactly
what you wrote, in which case (as with your “one and only” column) I
wonder why they pay you for your thinking ability.”

Matt has responded that I “… look like a complete, blithering
idiot….” What he hasn’t done is respond to my reasoning, or, for that
matter, any statement of fact other than my crediting the Gators with
six conference championships instead of, again in Matt’s words, “…
nine SEC titles — including the three the NCAA took away when the boys
in Gainesville were handing out cash like it was candy….” I got the
SEC number straight from the official Gator site. And, Matt apparently
fails to realize that adding to the number of titles further weakens
his original statement.

Matt did, however, get one thing right: I am a “raging FSU fan.” Two
graduate degrees earned from an institution will do that to you. IMHO,
Matt is also raging. But following the example of sportsmanship set by
my alma mater’s coach, I will leave it to the reader to decide raging
WHAT.

CM