Not exactly. Charlie Weis has done his Amazing Alexander routine on his players and has them all toeing the party line on this issue. Essentially they are all saying “I loved him. He was better than Cats. He’s going to coach me again and again.” Check here to see the actual glowing things the Domers are saying about their deposed coach.
Charlie Weis apparently knows how to avoid bulletin board material.
Baylor? Vandy? Indiana? All 3-0? Yeah, we were kind of thinking along the same lines…
Apocalypse? Bring out the Four Horsemen…
At 15-16, our resident punter/salaryman/gambling addict Solon faces a critical week in his gambling life. The best always overcome adversity, Solon, and we believe in your ability to make diamonds from the cowflop of games like FAU/Lousiana-Monroe. He tells you all about it in his picks for the week, as well as regaling us about his glory days as a wagering-mad grad school slacker below.—Orson
As it happens, my most successful years gambling on college football were the years during which I was not working 9-to-5, devoting 40 hours a week to some shit job that I hated. Instead, my most successful seasons were those where I either (1) worked as a substitute teacher, where I just let the fuckers run amok as long as they didn’t make too much noise, while I pored over statistics from the previous games, or (2) when I was in Graduate School, where the football came first and the ancient Greek and/or my students got the short end of the stick (fortunately, I was able to compensate somewhat by regaling students with stories about drinking or stories about tough gambling losses at the beginning of class on Mondays, so at least they were still learning something).
So, as I sit here, looking at my pathetic 15-16 record for the first three weeks of the season, part of me wonders if I’ll have to lose my job before I can pick some winners. Then, another part of me realizes that I had some tough beats last weekend, and with a little more luck (Georgia making a short FG, BC’s QB not getting hurt, and Temple not scoring a TD with 4 minutes left), I’d be sitting at 18-13 right now, with a healthy (if not spectacular) 58% winning percentage. So I’ll give it a few more weeks before I quit the law firm and check in for that job with the Marin County School District. If I do indeed make that move, I figure the tremendous hit in salary that I’ll take will be overcome by my increased income due to higher winning percentage, so I should be covered (so to speak) there.
Here are this week’s picks:
FLORIDA ATLANTIC (-7) v. Louisiana Monroe
At this point in the season with the small schools, you have to dig a little deeper than usual. (more…)
We found the perfect game to fold laundry and pay bills to: Boise State’s 48-20 burnination of hapless Bowling Green last night. Boise let nine different players carry the ball in rushing for over 300 on the slap-happy, tackle-averse BGSU defense, whose ability to stop the run seems to be commensurate with our levitation skills. Tony of Have You Met Tony? missed most of it–something for which he’s grateful.
Omar Jacobs went to Boise and got burninated.
…’cause a Rich Brooks party don’t stop! Until November or December of this year, at least. Most of the college football world greeted the news of Rich Brooks hiring at Kentucky with a unanimous what-the-fuck, raising a number of questions at the time, like “Who?”, “He’s still alive?”, and “Was Woody Widenhofer too busy or something?” Naysayers–those paying attention to the sleeping midget that is Kentucky football, at least–abounded, but positive types shushed people with “He helped build Oregon,” “He’s a former pro guy, he’ll get NFL caliber recruits,” and “His hair dye will make Spurrier’s seem natural by comparison.”
Rich Brooks, dry-heaving from excitement at Kentucky’s performance.
As it turns out, both crowds have been wrong–Brooks’ tenure, while a professional failure and a football nightmare–has made for excellent performance art. Already blessed with the brilliant Pillsbury Throwboy, Jared Lorenzen, the Kentucky team took a bold leap into the absurd under Rich Brooks, surpassing even their past heights under the gifted Dadaist Hal Mumme. (Remember them never punting in bounds? Or going for it half the time on fourth down? Brooks has been even better than that, in his own, beaky-nosed old guy kind of way.)
Brooks’ 7-19 record–and their epic collapse against a dead-in-the-water and thoroughly Zooked Florida team in 2003–have been the notable on the field landmarks of his tenure at Kentucky. What’s been overlooked is Brooks’ near-suicidal press conferences where Brooks comes off as a cross between Red from That ’70s Show and Eeyore jacked on half a bottle of Scotch.
Rich Brooks wants to know why you’re looking at him, you idiot.
Check out this fine example from some of Brooks’ most recent work in front of the mike.
On facing Florida this weekend, a team the Cats haven’t beaten since 1986:
“Gonna have fun now, guys,” he said. (…over the sound of ice cubes jostling in a tumbler…)
That’s stunning work. In a school where people cared, the AD would step in with a folding chair, brain the drunken, desperate coach in public view, and bump up a wide-eyed grad assistant to flounder out the season and take his licks before picking up a newbie when the coaching carousel cranks up in November. But at Kentucky, football means something more: art. Rich Brooks’ latest grumpypants display will take place at Lexington this Saturday, where Brooks will fiddle with his headset, kick grass poignantly, and spend the fourth quarter gazing longingly at Florida retirement brochures in full view of the press.
Obviously given the state of affairs in New Orleans and the state of the Superdome, the Sugar had little chance of being held in the French Quarter. Given that, Sugar Bowl officials have decided to hold the game in Atlanta or Baton Rouge.
Gary Barnett, an official EDSBS “Genius” coach is still waiting on that contract extension. Mike Bohn, the Athletic Director for Colorado, isn’t concerned about getting the extension done for Barnett, who has two years remaining on his contact, as he is concentrating on fundraising. We are sure that it has nothing to do with the pending audit of the Barnett run football camps that is holding things up.
Barnett seen here preparing for his matchup in the Orange Bowl this Saturday.
TAMBINPO is outta Houston thanks to Rita, bound for Dallas and safety. More importantly, he’s not going to have his preview of TAMU and Texas State up in time–dammit, man! Where are your priorities? One little Category 5…
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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