Another reason we don’t think USC can repeat as national champions:

“To be the hottest ticket in L.A. makes you feel pretty good,” said running back LenDale White, U.S.C.’s leading rusher. “Being in Hollywood, we meet so many people. We’ve got Snoop working out with us, Will Ferrell working out with us. All the movie stars, all the rappers, they want to be part of winning.”

It’s not the glamour we think they can’t handle. It’s the anorexia we fear will scuttle their chances at a three-peat. Have you seen that O-Line? They’re all like, so…fat…

Ray McDonald wants one MILLION sacks for the Gator d-line. Or maybe he said forty. Either way it’s crazy talk.

Pepidemiology, Chapter 4: Live Mascots

Long delayed but ultmately finished, we continue our study of the art and science of college
pomp and circumstance, Pepidemiology, with chapter 4: live mascots. (Catch up on your studies with parts 1, 2, and 3 if you missed class.)

Cam the Ram wants you to study Pepidemiology.

Live mascots may represent the most primitive level of fan worship, the actual physical incarnation of a team’s animus made animal, sitting there chained/leashed/tethered on the sidelines. Mascots are chosen like Indian totems, each representing an attribute or set of attributes the team seeks to adopt by proximity to the totem. The choice of attributes, however, is selective at best, and downright picky at worst. While Auburn may certainly want to be as ferocious as a Tiger, they would certainly not want to adopt the values of sleeping 20 hours a day, eating competitor’s young, and peeing on objects to mark their territory. (Though Auburn fans have certainly been known to pee indiscriminately after games, and are not alone in this behavior.)
(more…)

Gunslingers rolls on the media watch with a good summary of everything the Gameday crew was predicting over the weekend. A few notes:

–As LD points out, Trev actually says something interesting: what if Purdue and Ohio State both go undefeated? LD’s not looking forward to it, but as a fan of “Death Race 2000″ mathematical scenarios, we’re hoping like hell this happens…just because it’s weird and interesting.

–Corsolipsism: the state of being a man with a skull entirely invulnerable to the diffusion of new information through it. Eric Crouch couldn’t pass. USC won’t win a third title. Pitt will win the Big East because Tony Dorsett is the best runner since Archie Griffin. LSU will win behind the dynamic Billy Cannon, and Ohio State will win the national championship because they have one very, very fast guy. Corso is starting to get the look of someone who, in the middle of conversation with you, will start thinking about something else, but rather than pondering the ineffable sadness of life or the complexities of public health policy in the developing world, when you ask him what he’s thinking about says: “peanut butter. I like peanut butter.” Which means he and Beano Cook should be placed in chairs facing the walls in Bristol and be fed applesauce to their heart’s content.

–Mark May thinks USC is better this year, and is going to burn your house down and steal your Camaro, too.

Sunday Morning QB is running for cover in the wake of mega-bitch hurricane Katrina. Batten ‘em down, y’all! In a true display of focus, SMQ still came through with his Big 12 preview before heading to higher ground. He has a name for everyone betting on Mack Brown beating OU this year: suckers.

Yo’ momma ain’t shit, Katrina!

Rick Clausen started the final four games of Tennesee’s season last year and was even named the MVP of Tennessee’s impressive performance in the Cotton Bowl, but that wasn’t good enough. Fulmer has named Erik Ainge to be the starter for the home opener against UAB. Clausen will play in that game as well, but Fulmer did not provide any details as to how he’ll use the two quarterbacks. Also, the job is still open for game two down in the swamp, so Erik… you best not throw too many picks.

Fulmer love donuts… but the jury is out on his love of pickels.

BGS gets in touch with their inner voiceand it’s got plenty of disturbing things to say. Exquisite stuff from the monsters of the midwest blog scene.

Don’t give them any bulletin board material, don’t give them any bulletin board material…unless you’re the coach! Note that Mack Brown’s picture is juxtaposed with the banner in the lower left reading “The Thelma and Louise of Gay Teenagers.” (Via Lopez at Large.)

If you are a Bama fan, you’ll want to read the whole Ivan Maisel profile piece on Brodie Croyle, Alabama’s talented by oft injured leader. For those less interested, you’ve got to at least see the money quote from the article by offensive coordinator Dave Rader.

“He loves to play football. Out of 10 players, there aren’t three who love it like he does.”

What exactly does that mean? Is that a compliment? I mean saying your quarterback has such fire that he’s in the top 30 % of football players is a strange.

Brodie Croyle has top 30% heart and fire.

Orson’s going to the beach, but he’s got to tell you how much he can’t wait.