JOE PA LOVES HIM SOME CREAMPUFFS, TOO.

Joe Pa likes him some creampuffs--Penn State starts their schedule this year with South Florida, Cincinnati, and the ever-game tackling dummies of Central Michigan, meaning PSU gets off to a 3-0 start and the media goes all aflutter with Nittany Lion revival memes. We're prepping the inevitable "Penn State revival story" that SI's bound to put out in the October issue, as well as the "Joe Pa's Last Roar" lines that will kick in if they finish with a winning record and qualify for a bowl. (Write it down--that one's appearing somewhere.)

And wouldn't it be a particularly unique bit of cruelty if, in his final game ever after announcing his retirement, they face a new-school asswipe like Bobby Petrino who won't hesitate to play the part of hungry lion to Paterno's little, frail wilderbeest? Petrino would do it, too, hanging 60 on him and throwing deep on him in the fourth quarter while talking up another school's AD on his cell phone during the game.

Petrino would be happy to do the job.