ALL HAIL BLOGPOLL #4: THIS TIME IT’S PERSONAL
Blogpoll #4 will be up at Blue-Gray Sky tomorrow. Consider yourselves warned.
July 26, 2005
CISKIE’S ON THE PREVIEW TIP
Bruce Ciskie’s zipping through previews so fast he needed a new site just to house them. Browse to your heart’s content.
NORTHWESTERN PREVIEW
Brian’s preview of Northwestern is scarily comprehensive. It also contains the phrase “rabbit pimp.” Both make it worth a read.
BLAZERS: NO DONUTS FOR PHIL?
UT can’t lose to C-USA, but they sure can’t blow them out, either. Will the beastly Darrell Hackney give Tennessee fits in their opener by breaking Will Jason Allen in half with a blow of his mighty paw? Will Watson Brown continue to be the lone coach capable of having a career after catching the cancer of a stint as Vandy’s head coach? Can the Blazers take their fabulous Harry Potter logo to new heights with a win against the Vols? Hell no, we think, but Scout.com wonders out loud anyway. (via Voluminous)
While we’re at it, we want to be the first to posit that UAB stole its logo from Ronnie James Dio. Exhibit A:
And Exhibit B:
Like a rainbow in the daaaaaaaarrk!
We rest our case.
MEYER AS B.F. SKINNER
When does he put the players in a box with lights and a little lever that puts out cookies when they do something good? Urban Meyer as behavioral psychologist, courtesy of the NY Times via MGoBlog.
FELDMAN: ACC THE TUFFEST OF THE TUFF
HP continues to invite the wrath of ESPN’s legal staff by making us all Insiders, posting large chunks of Feldman’s payblog for our enjoyment. No problem with Feldman’s having the ACC as the toughest group top-to-bottom–most games are dogfights now, even those involving much-improved doormat Duke. (Ted Roof is high on our list of “Shopliftable Coaches” for 2006.) What the hell is Texas A&M doing there, though? Especially after the ungloved rectal they got from Tennessee in the Cotton Bowl?
HP has his own suggestions, only one of which we take issue with: though ASU beat Iowa last year, one big win does not a heavyweight champeen make. Too streaky, and got smoked by the two heavyweights in the Pac-10. Light heavyweight seems just fine until they class up and beat Cal or USC, as does your suggestion that Cal join the heavyweight category. If Boise beats Georgia, though, give the WAC its first heavyweight with cream cheese frosting on it. (Damn that MSM! We’re already using their terminology! Straight Bangin’, give us our hip-hop equivalents, and make them simple enough for average white guys to get!)
In college football/hip-hop correlative terminology, is Vandy 3rd Bass?
FULMER TO GO TO ALABAMA.
Phil Fulmer will be attending SEC Media Days in Birmingham now that the defamation lawsuits have stopped flying around for a bit. (Hey, sometimes they pay off: last Friday a jury awared former Bama assistant Ronnie Cotrell $30 meeeel-eeeyunn in a defamation suit involving recruiting analyst Tom Culpepper. Combined with Tom Lemming’s shamelss Notre Dame fellatio act, are “recruiting analysts the most loathsome form of college football vermin now?)
Fulmer’s arrival has caused the removal of power lines along his travel route, since he tends to get caught in them from time to time.
Coach Fulmer enjoys a snack en route to SEC Media days.
SIMS, NICHOLSON BOTH TO START AGAINST MIAMI.
Ernie Sims, who allegedly used his girlfriend as a tackling dummy over the summer, and A.J. Nicholson, tasered after fleeing police, will both start for Florida State against Miami on September 3rd. Don’t worry, though: Bowden promises the players will pay for their mistakes, even if it’s not with a suspension.
“There are more ways to discipline other than suspension,” Bowden said at the Atlantic Coast Conference’s football media kickoff. “You’ve heard of pain, haven’t you?”
That kinky bitch. Who knew Bowden makes blue-chippers play master and servant for their offseason sins? There’s a legendary photoshop waiting here, but we have problems making GTA: San Andreas work, much less getting that mod where you bone a woman without taking your clothes off to work. Anyone willing to superimpose the head of Bobby Bowden on a dominatrix will receive our highest honor, to be determined at a later date.
In an additional tidbit, here’s a heavily qualified “Is Bowden losing control” piece from Pat Forde. Dadgum factor: one.
ONE MORE FANBLOGS LINK: PAINTBALL AND FSU
Fanblogs has been full of goodness lately, including this tidbit: in an effort to boost morale and encourage teamwork, FSU has been taking its players to play paintball, which accustoms the players to being ‘under fire’ together.
The University of Miami has a similar approach they’ve been using, too, though with a slightly different methodology: the Canes have been taking trips to Liberty City, where they watch Larry Coker and Willie Williams shoot dice in an alley with former UM waterboy Jimmy “Cutman” Scoggins until one player becomes so angry they pull their gun, at which point the team gets to experience the supposedly beneficial and thrilling sensation of being ‘under fire.’ No news on whether Ashy Larry is involved.
Marcy Project’s finest: Ashy Larry, played by Donnell Rawlings.
WATSON TAKEN TO CLASS IN ESCALADE.
Derek Watson was taken to class in a Cadillac Escalade, but HE doesn’t think any rules were broken. It’s just that the best athletes on campus get a little extra respect, that’s all.
That comes along with being a good athlete at whatever university. The best athletes on the team, their needs get catered to,? Watson said. ?They did bend over backward for me, but that was just out of being loyal to me.?
And thus the wreckage that Lou Holtz, teacher of men, leaves behind.
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