The Great CFB Blogger Slapfest of 2005 exploded while we were off in the mountains getting Giardia and reading Phil Steele’s Preview in our tent. (Really, that thing is like the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; it’s got everything is in it, including the full text of the Upanishads in Sanskrit, a manual on forklift operation, a correct proof of Fermat’s last theorem, and nude photos of Chad Henne in it. Okay, that last part isn’t true, but we’re just seeing if it gets any hits from Boi From Troy. The nude photos are actually of former Vandy coach Woody Widenhofer. The horror…)
Surprise! Woody’s not wearing any pants in this picture.
We’ve tried to summarize the various stages of the GCFBBS ‘05 below for your reading pleasure:
1. Heismanpundit’s initial call to “exterminate the brutes” make blogs hold lazy commentators accountable for their foibles, among other things. See Solon’s comments below the post for a great counter and a sign of blog drama ahead.
2. BruinsNation and CFR sign on. In separate posts, BruinsNation and CFR concur.
3. The counter-revolution begins. See us play Edmund Burke to HP’s Robespierre, all the while admitting that we spend time looking for photos of Rosario Dawson naked. (NSFW, of course.)
4. The counter-revolution gets heated, courtesy of MGoBlog. Brian at MGoBlog puts some stank on it and lets HP have it; the excellent iBlog for Cookies gets his bitchslap on here, too. (What is it with the cojones on these Michigan bloggers? Remind us to pick you in our next blogger convention bar fight, which we’re guessing would be the biggest sissy-boy slapfight we’ve ever seen.)
5. UPDATE! HP hits back! We’re not bold! We have no theories! We respond in comments and above, as well. Neither does Brian!
See the comments sections on both sites for great responses, including some mention of how people “see” bloggers. We have our own ideas on how people see bloggers:
Your facile understanding of college football appalls me, halfling. I shall soothe my pain with another bag of Funyuns while savaging you on my weblog.
I’ll admit it, most strength and conditioning coaches would probably kill us with their regimen and ECU’s is no exception. Take a look at this tidbit on his philosophy
“I look at it like a military approach. The military hammer kids into the ground. Once they are at the same level, you build them back up. During the summer, it’s my job to bury them and get them in shape.”
We wonder, is this a part of the recruiting brochure?
Yup, life is pretty good for Bobby Stoops. He wins a national championship at Florida as defensive coordinator, which he parlays into the head coaching spot at one of the most storied programs in college football at a time when they were down, but still loaded with talent. He promptly returns them to glory by winning a mythical national championship and annually bitch-slapping Texas. Then, he parlays Steve Spurrier leaving Florida into a sweet raise and extension making him the top dog in the college coaching ranks…. but that’s not all. A failed Zook tenure only increased interest in Stoopsie who got another raise and extension. Now, he has inked a nice new contract complete with annual raises, incentives out the wazoo and a 3 Million Dollar incentive if he stays put in Oklahoma until 2008, where he is more openly loved than Katie Holmes and Scientology combined are by Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise seen here almost as excited as an Oklahoma fan meeting Bob Stoops.
Okay, we swear we’re going now. But first look at this.
One more thing: is Lemming a hopeless Notre Dame lemming? I Blog for Cookies and MGoBlog are on the case.
We’re going camping, so here’s some primo Friday nonsense to tide you over for the weekend: strawberry pancakes, don’t make me wait…
FSU qb and Dave Matthews fan Wyatt Sexton spoke with the FSU coaching staff yesterday for the first time since he was Baker-Acted for his odd behavior on June 13th. The general diagnosis leaking from the FSU camp? Bipolar disorder, it seems, caused the qb’s already frayed nerves to come unraveled following three days at the acid-soaked Bonnaroo music festival in Manchester, Tennessee, not drug use of any sort.
Sexton is also serving a second purpose: giving sportswriters an excuse for sanctimony and general huffiness!
(more…)
What can we say about this? Hey, bail’s expensive, people! Thanks, we’ll be here all week, tip your waitress!
Put on your tin-foil hat: the judge in a case concerning the alleged blacklisting of two former ‘Bama coaches has released documents concerning the case to the public. Lawyer Tommy Gallion accuses NCAA investigators (and recruiting analyst Tom Culpepper?!?) of conspiring to defame and damage the Crimson Tide football program in the course of their investigation of Alabama’s recruiting violations. Of course, after a thorough reading of EDSBS favorite Dan Brown, we know the fingerprints of the Illuminati are all over this one. Chauncey, fetch my Harris tweed! (For an audio summary, click on the “legal issues” clip on finebaum.com. We dig the Ronnie James Dio intro music playing at the beginning…)
Heismanpundit breaks the plane twice in two posts, first with a cogent and reasoned response to our post on the impact of blogs on the college football media, and second with a great sprint through (pun intended) cfb’s fastest college players. After reading Phil Steele constantly over the past few days, all we can say is that these VHT potential AAs HP mentions should simply create FDs ASAP TY.
ps. Correctly identify the song the headline is lifted from, and EDSBS will send you a shiny new quarter.
Ginn: fast as hell.
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