ESPN HIRES OMBUDSMAN. WE SUGGEST HE PURCHASE A HELMET.
Bob Wolfley, in a take-no-shit mood today, has a few questions for ESPN’s newly hired ombudsman. We think a show where contestants get thirty seconds to beat the holy hell out of Chris Berman with the piece of furniture of their choice would be a good start to reviving the network. We bravely volunteer ourselves to be the first contestant.
Is this the face Berman would make when hit with a thrown chaise lounge? Only ESPN has the power to answer this question.
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1
I don’t know… it strikes me as a bad sign when “Dream Job 2″ consisted of: Steven A. Smith, Woody Paige, Kit Hoover (I guess they still had her under contract so wanted to do something with her), Stu Scott, and the nimrod who hired all of these people. Could they possibly have picked four ESPN “talents” (and I use the term loosely) who more epitomized what is wrong with ESPN?
Then again, I suppose they could have had Berman on the show too.
Comment by Chris Lawrence — June 8, 2005 @ 1:30 am
2
Sadly, I used to really like the Boomer… but I think he’s lived a self induced hard life and has just become annoying.
Comment by Anonymous — June 8, 2005 @ 8:30 am
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In addition to being obviously unprepared going on the air, Berman reportedly has someone open his water bottles for him on the set. Prick. He’s like a giant, yammering Yukon Gold potato slathered in bronzer, mangling the highlights with the same tired shtick he’s been doing for twenty five fucking years. He makes Tom Arnold’s stint on the Best Damn Sports Show look like Shakespeare in comparison.
Comment by Anonymous — June 8, 2005 @ 11:30 am
4
[...] 1. Chris Berman, of course, but they don’t let him get near the great game, if only for the fear that college students, born too late to fall for even an iota of his Huey Lewis-lovin’, I-got-straight-in-the-eighties, lameass-nickname-creatin’ schtick would storm the Gameday set and rip him to bad lunchmeat with their bare angry hands. We don’t want that to happen, mind you–we just want to throw a chaise lounge at him as hard as we can and let bygones be bygones. [...]
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