BARNETT GENIUS WATCH: NEW AD SEEKS “HEALING”
Colorado hires new AD. Keeps corrupt, lying, “genius” coach. For now.
April 11, 2005
FELDMAN: CLEMSON’ S UNIFORMS ARE FOR HOMOSEXUALS. IN OTHER NEWS, HOMOSEXUALS LIKE BRIGHT COLORS AND TIGHT PANTS.
Bruce Feldman of ESPN thinks Clemson’s new unis are…gay. Why pay for juvenile comments when you can get them right here for free? Has Bruce Feldman mentioned talented FSU db De’Cody Fagg? Does he giggle when he says it? We wonder what Clemson fan J. Quinton will make of this…by the way, we think that if Feldman is indeed right-and he’s not, since every queen knows shoulder pads are soooo a lesbian thing-next year’s unis will look like this:
Hello Clemson fans! We love Tigers, too!
MORE SPRING PRACTICE ROUNDUPS
Georgia goes wishbone in scrimmage, while BYU can’t score on its own defense. Kyle Wright looks like the next in Miami’s tradition of horrifically streaky and gifted qbs in spring game; Michael Spurlock plays like he owns the job at Ole Miss. Finally, a complete-and we mean obsessively so-summary of any and all ink spilled over the Florida spring game can be found at Florida Fan, who not coincidentally links to…us.
The future in Athens?
WEEKEND BLOTTER UPDATE: VOLS ISSUE SUSPENSIONS
Phil Fulmer has reportedly suspended Schaeffer and Smith indefinitely for their off-field incidents this weekend reported earlier on EDSBS.com. We here at EDSBS.com are sure that the swift suspension has nothing to do with the fact that Ainge is head and shoulders better than Schaeffer anyway because that would be cynical.
VOLS SCRIMMAGE REPORT: OFFENSE ASSAULTED.
And in the buildup to the Orange and White game, here’s a report on Tennessee’s spring practices. Never say we don’t post positive UT news: Brent Schaeffer’s poor performance had nothing to do with him punching a fellow student in the throat, as the arrest happened over 12 hours after the scrimmage. We’re sure his hand is fine.
WEEKEND BLOTTER, VOLUNTEER STATE EDITION
And what would a weekend be without an arrest report, this time courtesy of the University of Tennessee.
ROAD TRIP REPORT: GAINESVILLE, FL
Back from Gainesville, which is a much nicer place to be in as a broke-ass adult than it was to be a broke-ass 19 year old, if only because as an adult you understand that there are broke people everywhere, and that they have more choices for dinner out than Five Star Pizza and Maui Teriyaki’s chicken bowl. Age does indeed have its benefits.
The benefits in this case were:
1. A look at what Urban Meyer is up to in Hogtown.
2. A chance to play what was the greatest football game in home console history with my preferred nemesis, my brother-in-law Jim.(Posted at length, below.)
First, the real game. (more…)
THE GREAT GAME: ME, 17, JIM, 14
Yes, there was a scrimmage in Gainesville this weekend, but there was only one real game: Orson Swindle versus his brother-in-law, thumbpad legend Jimmy K, in a titanic matchup of virtual gridiron acumen. Yeah, we went to the game, but we put in the requisite number of hours with the XBox, including playing the greatest game ever in the long history of our video game rivalry. (more…)
COCK FIGHTING BROADCAST NATIONWIDE
Steve Spurrier has the Cocks and fans of Cocks everywhere in a state of excited anticipation and dreaming of a big BCS climax. Hopefully, for their sakes, that climax won’t be premature… and on national television. In an unprecedented move which seems right out of Dodgeball, ESPN 2 and ESPNU are broadcasting the Garnet and Black spring football game live at 1PM this Saturday.
Thus, the drive for a record breaking stint in the deep south begins for the Spurr Dog. The first record that he is trying to break is the spring football attendance record of just over 19,000 at South Carolina. We think he’s got that one covered. And if we know the Old Ball Coach, he’s got his eye on the 58,500 orange and blue clad fans that decended upon Gainesville this weekend with a hope of rivaling that figure. We here at EDSBS.com wish him the best… until November 21st that is.
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