SPRING GOSSIP

Auburn Tigers: crazy about Cox. (Give us a chance to make a penis joke, and we will take it.) Prentice Gautt dies at the age of 67. Spurrier wants fun back at SC, mentions that fun does not usually require crowbar, gloves, and bail money. Assembled players stunned. Chan Gailey back at practice two days after heart attack. Bobby Bowden uses word "daggum" in interview for forty zillionth time, promises more sluggish offense, galling nepotism, and bad haberdashery from the Seminoles this year. Texas lawmaker seeks end to "sexual cheerleading." Strangely, Edwards is a Democrat, who we thought were all about sexual cheerleading. Urban Meyer unhappy with second day of practice, forces team to pit fight with pack of wolves to win back his love.

Bobby Bowden and son Jeff who, coincidentally, is the best possible person for the job of offensive coordinator at FSU in the whole universe. Really. Especially because he wears Oakleys.