Something nagged us after we posted our pic of Rick earlier today: who does he look like there? We racked our brains until the theme from Airwolf clued us in , and the name came flashing up in our memory.
Jan Michael Vincent, aka Stringfellow Hawke, the star of such classics as White Line Fever and Alienator. From what I understand, both enjoy drinking, and have never been seen in the same place at the same time. Hmm…
Another good dig by our senior Knoxville correspondent, Stranko Montana, this time concerning a K1 match between Omega Psi Phi’s UT chapter and the UT football team-ed.
At the house of University of Tennessee’s Omega Psi Phi chapter there was another great example of the second most famous maxim. The most famous of course is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia”, but only slightly less known is, “Never mix frat boys and footballers when women are present”.
A rumble ensued last Saturday evening between several party-goers and several members of the UT Football team according to the Daily Beacon. The DJ of the party, Antonio Brown, attempted to settle things down by stating “yo, yo, chill out! There is too many females at the party for you all to want to fight.? Players and fratboys disagreed, and continued to brawl.
Although Phil Fulmer was too busy keeping the University from implementing a class attendance requirement for his players to show up on the scene and regulate, the word is Ron Zook is gathering several members of the Illini together for a bus trip to Knoxville to send a message to Fraternity houses everywhere that this kind of insolence will not be tolerated.
Gator fans can’t put the knife in Zook enough, eh? “To the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee…”
Please visit our good friends at Technorati, who are helping us boost our traffic and thus our piddling amount of infamy, by clicking on the title above.
In case you wondered, Spanish tempranillos are an inexpensive and superb way to numb the nightly pain of not having College Gameday or a mid-week radio call-in show to soothe the ache of living. But we’ve decided that FoxSports College Football News site is at least as good as our fruity, underpriced Spanish darlings, with daily posts by crack writers who understand the keys to grinding out offseason writing are obsessive detail and abundant, sometimes groundless speculation. (We’ve got a little bit of a man-crush on Pete Fiutak, but we’re coping. Another glass of the Campos Reales, por favor…)
Check the coaches’ lists for the SEC for a taste of what I’m talking about. Savory, mindless, and everything you desperately need in the first full week of March.
Dreamboat/Coach Rick Neuheisel is now officially the luckiest man on the face of the earth, having settled with the University of Washington for 4.5 million dollars in his firing dispute. The most jarring facts of an already bizarre case are:
1. U. of Washington, which is run by Ph.Ds and defended by no-doubt pricey lawyers, fired Neuheisel not for his team’s underacheiving performance and his players habits of crashing frat house parties and punching local cops in the face, but for his March Madness office pool. Neuheisel, himself a member of two different bar associations, recognized what crap that is and sued the pants off the university. Point being: put enough people with Ph.Ds in a room with something explosive, and you will either come out with an atomic bomb, or be blown up in the process of making one. U-Dub got the second result, and it cost them the equivalent of a down payment on a Gulfstream private jet.
2. Neuheisel’s hair, though thinning, was cleared of any wrong doing and remains buoyant, well-conditioned, and optimistic for the future.
Young Rick: also the bassist for Loverboy?
3. If Ty Willingham gets another premature axe for being 7-5 and black, there’s no wayyyy the University will get away with it without a lawsuit. Which means Willingham gets at least four years, or the Huskies should just keep David Boies on retainer indefinitely. Oh, and having UW donor Bill Gates’ army of killer robots ready and waiting to crush a swarming bloodthirsty media wouldn’t hurt, either.
4. Neuheisel’s dreamboat life will continue uninterrupted. He’ll find the hundred dollar bill on the ground, get a free lap dance, win the lottery, and drive a car that’s both stylish, affordable, and sporty with hands at the ten and two positions. At night he’ll dry his tears of joy with his piles of excess cash while you watch basic cable and dread work the next day. What’s the point? He’s Rick Neuheisel, and you’re not. And don’t forget it.
Looks like the story continues to bleed out slowly, this time with CNNSI via the AP. We wonder: why the slow rollout of the numbers? And why the consistent mentions of Fresno State and Baylor and no mention of USC’s dismal numbers?
We’re guessing it has something to do with the Trojans’ position as defending national champion, or the sheer animal magnetism of all those dudes in skirts holding swords. We put more faith in the former theory, though stepping onto the USC campus with a formal notice of inquiry could be dangerous, you know-we remember what they did to Johnny Knoxville a few years ago.
What this cannot mean is that Fresno and Baylor are getting off light. They’re both relatively insignificant and would give Myles Brand the perfect opportunity to show his fangs without having to bite into a program that could bite back in the form of damaging the overall national reputation of the NCAA at all. (And don’t forget those jersey sales, either…)
Apparently everyone has replay fever now. The SEC is going to try it out a la the Big Ten, putting it on a trial basis for the 2005 season. Do you really want less error in the game? Do you really want to watch some Gomer stick his head under the hood of a replay machine for five minutes in the middle of a game? Do you finally want your team’s nutcrushing defeat to be entirely the fault of the team, and not easily blamed on the refs? We thought that constituted one of the great pleasures of the collegiate game: lack of culpability due to official incompetence. Oh, and one last thing, quoting from Maisel’s mailbag contributor Derrick Brown from lovely Pensacola, FL:
Had it been around in the SEC the last three years, Florida would have three or four more wins. Sounds good if you’re a Gator fan, until you realize Ron Zook would still be your coach. Say no to instant replay.
Masochistic? Yes we are. Cruel? No way. We concur, Derrick.
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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